"I'm sorry, but this area's off limits to denizens of The Drafting Board," wafted over from the front of the queue. "I can get you registration and you can hang around, if you like. 5K episodes really isn't far off! But this convention, I'm afraid, isn't for you, Jason."
"Jason" seemed to be a guy's severed head, carried around by a teenage girl's body under its telepathic control, and together the two looked like a 2000s Disney Adaptation of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow to a High School Comedy TV show. Jon couldn't help gawking, even from where he stood a couple places in line before them. They were talking to what seemed to be an identical clone of himself, except dressed a little differently, and working the counter of a... Jon checked his brochure... "Registration and Narrative Exposition Desk".
Jon's head was spinning, and it just made it all the more surreal that Jason just sighed, took her registration from the clerk, and then wandered off with all the aura of an average man who just missed the subway, as if this were just a mundane but ultimately minor disappointment. He took a deep breath. Play it cool, he thought. Jon was here to try and make some sense of what was going on, and just watching the folks in line was... well, giving him more questions than answers, but it was information all the same. That wasn't nothing, right?
"Salutations!" Greeted the Jon across the desk from the Jon in front of Jon. "Are you now, or have you ever been, Jon?"
"I have not," answered the man beside the Jon in front of Jon. "I would like to check in to the Author's Lounge, please, and I'd like to invite this Jon to join me."
Jon blinked. That's a Jon? No way! He thought in disbelief. 1) Her registration clearly identifies her as being named Viola, and 2) she's a chick! A curvy fucking princess cosplaying like this is a Lord of the Rings convention! He didn't want to admit it, but being just behind her, Jon had been ogling Viola's ass longer than he probably ought to have, and learning she might actually have been a man was causing feelings. And another man with my name, too?
"Oh, you're an Author? Pardon Me, good sir! Do you already have Registration ready?"
"Mhm, and I've already provided an ID for Viola too," said the man, fishing out some documents from his pockets. "You can see plainly she's my OC at present. I'll be Inviting some other Jons and OCs of mine to the Author's Lounge later, but this will do for now."
Other Jons? Again?
"Matisguy," read the clerk aloud. After a few key presses into what seemed to be some kind of gameboy, he looked up and said "Alright, sir, you're all checked in! Do you need anything else?"
"Yes, actually." Matisguy reached into his pockets and produced this image. "Transform me into this woman, and register 'Mary' as an alternate name for me, please. It's the Avatar on my Discord, you see, and I'd like my fellow Authors to know me in the way they're most familiar with."
"Say no more!" Said the clerk, and then Matisguy transformed right before Jon's wide eyes. Eyes turned green, hair turned into straight black silk, and somehow, he was suddenly a girl in a denim jacket, just as pictured. "Is that all?"
"Yes, thank you," Mary replied in her still deep, yet newly feminine voice. "I assume the doors to the Author's Lounge are unlocked to Viola and I now?"
"Of course, but I think you're the first Author to arrive. Be sure to wear your registration regardless. Enjoy yourselves at the convention, ladies!" Jon waved cordially as Matisguy and Viola disappeared to another area of the convention hall; one marked by big, luxurious double doors which read "AUTHORS AND THEIR INVITED CHARACTERS ONLY" in a big, intimidating red font.
I'm really not in Kansas anymore, Jon thought. He was next in line, and the Jon across the desk, whose registration showed him as "DTH Jon, aka. Dr.", suddenly seemed a much more intimidating presence than he had been from afar. Bodily, he was a near exact double of Jon, but he stood up straighter, held himself more carefully but confidently, and the look about his eyes was piercing and intelligent. Despite appearances, Jon was entirely convinced that he and the doctor were not at all the same person.
Still, the doctor greeted Jon with a disarming warmth and a smile. "Oh, don't worry so much, my friend," he replied as confidently as if reading Jon's mind. "I can see you're Jon, and one of those Jons less affected by the Stone, at that, so this should go smoothly. If you would be so kind as to hold still and allow me to scan you, I can get you registered and briefly answer any questions you may have."
Before Jon could even begin formulating the first of a torrent of questions, the doctor had his Gameboy-esque device pointed in Jon's direction and evidently "scanning" him. A nearby machine printed out the apparent IDs. "And now, you are hyperlinked," the Doctor said to Jon after giving him his registration. "Wear your registration like this, Jon: [Jon](https://fictionbranches.net/fb/story/6059199). That will tell onlookers which branch of the Multiverse you originate from, and on sight will communicate your preferred alternate title, which appears to be... just... Jon? Excuse me a moment."
The brief look of confusion in the Doctor's wise, experienced eyes scared Jon on some deep level, and when the Doctor hit a button on the Not-Gameboy and simply vanished from where he stood Jon practically jumped out of his skin. The doctor reappeared before Jon had finished processing the shock. "You are THE Jon!" The Doctor announced excitedly on his return. "The Jon from the root of this Multiverse! A pleasure to meet you, sir!" DTH Jon shook hands excitedly with a very overwhelmed alternate.
"I, uh... guess I am?" Jon tried weakly. He sighed, and finally had an opportunity to spit it out. "Look, I'll be honest chief, I have no idea what that means or where I am. I was given to understand this was a kind of information desk, so, uh...?"
"Alas, some confusion is natural. It's a difficult subject, so allow me to explain like so," the doctor began with a twinkle in his eye. "The Stone, as I'm sure you're aware, is an artifact capable of deeply reshaping our reality. What you may not be aware of is that, thanks in no small part to the Stone's magical influence, there are now multiple said realities, branching out from your earliest moment with the Stone like tree limbs from a trunk. Time is not a straight line from past to future, nor is it one of many non-intersecting lines in parallel; it grows from a Root to multiple possible futures, some of which were conjured into existence by wishes on the Stone. Do you understand?"
"I... think so?" Jon rubbed his chin. "And you say I'm the Root!?"
"In a way," the doctor held up his hands. "When most of the Jons arrive I explain to them how far their Branch of the Multiverse has grown away from the Root moment when they first used the Stone. Many of them have made powerful, dramatically life- or world-changing wishes on it that have strongly changed them from the Jon you are, as I'm sure you've seen by now."
Jon thought back to Viola. It clicked suddenly that she wasn't just coincidentally called a Jon; she was him, albeit him if he'd made some poorly worded wish that turned him into a Witch or something.
"I myself went on a number of adventures across the Multiverse in my own time, after I wished the Dimensional Time Hopper into existence," the Doctor elaborated. "From my perspective, it's been quite some time since I first got the Stone from our dear Grandfather. But not so for you! You were the Jon that wished this Convention into existence on your Stone. You didn't need to be retrieved from across the Multiverse. From your perspective, time has flowed directly from then to now, and frankly Jon, that makes you somewhat special within this branch of the Multiverse. You are the Root Jon, and as a matter of fact, a Guest of Honor within this convention!"
It took Jon a moment to fully comprehend what was being said. "And this..." he started slowly, "JonCon 20XX... it's all me, from across the alternate realities, isn't it?"
The doctor nodded. "We've registered thousands of Jons from across the Multiverse for this, Jon."
There were too many emotions flying across Jon's face for either of them to comprehend. The net effect was Jon being struck dumb.
"Allow me to show you around, Jon!" The doctor invited. "Just allow me a moment to get a replacement to run the registration desk. Oh, Djonni?" From what seemed to be an ordinary cabinet came an ornate lamp of obvious purpose. A rub and puff of smoke, and there was a slender girl floating in the air, with blue skin and olive hair, entirely too few clothes and entirely too many golden bindings. Most of it was filmy and see-through, including herself if not formed fully. Djonni; another Jon that somehow got herself transformed into a djinn.
"-she'd talk to her, so I... what?" Djonni looked around suddenly, taken off guard. "Master? Ah, pfft, eh, Doctor? I was busy elsewhere..."
"Apologies, but this is the Root Jon, Djonni!" he gestured. "I'm going on break to show our Honored Guest about the Convention. So, I wish you'd take over for me for the time being."
"...Your wish is my command," Djonni replied hesitantly, "but are you sure that's a good idea? The Jons across the multiverse aren't exactly known for being responsible wishers! Doctor, come back!" but Djonni was already left to face the throngs of uninformed incoming Jons that saw only a sexy genie to wish/command/use.
"Out here, other characters, such as versions of Karyn or Zoe, might mingle and meet, but beyond these doors, it's Jons-only, as you can see." Another big marked set of double doors. They were more plain, less luxurious and ornate than the doors to the Author's Lounge, but much larger, obviously meant to accommodate a much greater flow of flesh. "Are you ready?"
"Yeah, go." Jon was not, in fact, ready.
The very first Jon the Root saw was a SLUG. Literally, a man-sized slug with a slimy cartilaginous tail and everything, with the upper half of a particularly soft and squishy woman! She was holding a conversation with two other Jons, both of which were much closer to be an exact duplicate of the Root, except... One had big shapely melons of honest-to-God boobies being shown off by a low-cut top, and the other had an enormous, fat feminine ass on wide hips under a skirt that wouldn't be showy if she were slimmer, standing atop shapely legs on feminine heels. Elsewhere, a succubus was trying very very hard to get the attention of a much more restrained Incubus; a little girl was sitting on the lap of what seemed to be the real Santa Claus; a version of Zoe that seemed bigger, fatter, and dressed more provocatively was arguing with a clone of Sarah only distinguishable from the real thing by an ID labelling her as Kara; a popular girl was laughing it up with the rest of her clique, consisting of a cheerleader, an Australian, an Influencer, and somehow a French Maid; and there were no less than FOUR Goddesses present, one Vedic and Hindu, one Wiccan and Pregnant, and two more pagan ones that seemed to be under the absolute control of an unchanged Jon Clone. The whole scene was given musical ambience by a man at a piano, whose ID labeled him as...
"BILLY JOEL!? Is that the real Billy Joel?" Jon turned severely on the Doctor. "I thought you said this whole place was just AU versions of me!"
"It is all AU versions of you. There's a timeline where the Stone turns all girls in your school into Billy Joel, and then turns you into one of those girls, as hard as that is to believe." The doctor just grinned, seeing the look on Jon's face. "Trust me, Jon, your fears just before Karyn's first wish were very well-founded: almost every timeline goes wildly off the rails shortly after you start wishing on the Stone, including your own. I'd say this convention of the versions of you across the Multiverse certainly counts as 'something interesting', wouldn't you?"
Jon glared.
"It only gets more interesting from here, you know," the doctor continued. "What's a Con without Events? I've heard rumors that some of the Jons are organizing a game of Laser Tag with the Transformation Guns for instance. There's already a small army of Moms -- Curvy Moms, Pudgy Moms, even Male Moms -- at work making cookies and snacks for this whole thing. People are throwing the idea of a costume party around, and I think the Authors are debating whether they should make a keynote speech or something.
"I wouldn't discount the possibility of fun stuff simply happening spontaneously, however," the doctor continued. "If you have, in one place, this much-"
"EEEEK! A FAIRY!" A girly shriek suddenly echoed across the hall, and thousands of eyes were suddenly drawn to one Princess Jeanne, abandoning her tea time with Princess Allaria in favor of frantically fleeing from a fairy registered as Robyn. Evidently she was right to; Robyn was cackling maniacally, and with the sly look about her face, it was obvious she had just pulled some prank on the royalty that got that reaction from Jeanne. Looking mischievous, she couldn't resist giving chase after the royalty for further terror. She didn't make it very far; a blur appeared by her side faster than was humanly possible, and in half a moment the blur had her caught by the wing and a sword pointed menacingly in her direction.
"Watch yourself," warned Kamiera, the Witchspear. "This is royalty you threaten. I will not object to innocent fun, but the good people at this convention are under my protection, you understand?"
"You're no fun!" Robyn complained. "This party needs a little magic to spice it up, wouldn't you say?"
"You've forgotten the Rules, haven't you?" Chimed in another witch, this one named Lillian McMillan. "Don't cast a spell on someone lest they gain the power to cast a spell on you in retribution."
"What? That's not how it works!" Robyn griped as she wriggled her butterfly wing free of Kamiera's grip. Kamiera herself started off after the Princess, who had fled.
"Yeah it is. You feeling bold enough to test it?"
The energy in the room turned into a more normal argument between the witch and the fairy. The doctor, losing interest, just chuckled. "Case in point, I suppose. Would you say the convention is sufficiently "interesting" for your tastes, Jon of the Root?"
"I need a drink." Jon sighed and tried looking around for a bowl of punch or something.
