“...That the princess behave in a manner befitting her position!”
Jon squeaked as the air itself forced him in place. He jerked to the edge of his seat, back straight, thighs together, and feet positioned girlishly to one side. He peeked down at himself, just in time for his traitorous hand to bring a handkerchief to his mouth.
Unbridled femininity. He burned a deep red.
“Mom!” The word made him wince. It tasted wrong, inappropriate—a new, tiny voice in the back of his mind recommended Your Majesty instead, or, perhaps, Honored Mother. Much more respectful. Jon ignored it. “What was that?”
Linda hesitated, gaze filled with remorse. “That… Wasn’t supposed to happen. I don’t know what happened.”
“You made the wrong wish!” This time, the words made Jon sick. How dare he criticize the Queen? “Just, put the stone away. I’ll find a way to deal with this.”
“No, I can do it!” Linda said, quick and frantically. “I wish—That my kingdom be blessed with bountiful resources, enviable weather, and an ideal geopolitical location.”
Linda stared at Jon. Jon stared at Linda. And for a moment, he decided this wish was too mundane to possibly screw things up more than they already had been.
The stone pulsed in response. The shift was sudden, massive, and dizzying.
The all-encompassing fogginess he grew up with vanished. In its place, a bright blue sky with a sun that shone a little too brightly. The air was hot and tasted like… Salt? Glancing past the kingdom—buildings now painted an array of reds, pinks, and yellows, trees even more vibrant than before—Jon gasped at the sudden fucking ocean expanding in all directions.
“Put the rock down!”
“Sorry, sorry! I can still fix it!”
“No, you most certainly can’t!” Jon tried to jump forward and stop her. Instead, his elegantly posed body reached for a cup of tea. It wouldn’t be proper to stand before Her Majesty did, after all.
Jon wanted to scream.
He settled for gawking at the second wave of changes. A sudden armada of breathtakingly crafted sailboats. Towering warships steeped in imposing decorations and lined with old-timey canons. Merchant and fishing vessels, much more flamboyant in their designs, scrawled all along the newly-existing coast side.
This wasn’t possible. Jon knew the stone had a radius. There was no way its magic could reach so far, right?
The third wave of changes. Less intense, thankfully. Just… Embarrassing.
Both screamed. For one mortifying second, Jon and Linda were fully naked, their perfect, impossible, showstopper bodies on display to anyone who happened to see this particular castle balcony, as their outfits ripped apart and weaved back together.
Still dressed like royalty. This was simply weather appropriate. Tropical.
Linda went silent. The new off-shoulder gown appeared to have been poured over her, flowing down to the floor and pooling at her feet. It had the sort of fabric she could find airy and comfortable—until she noticed how very-nearly transparent it was. In the right light, the outfit’s subtle patterns would make way for an unabashed showcase of her silhouette.
Also, like, her cleavage looked amazing.
Jon kept his glasses. The shawl too, though it was now a loose crochet of some pastel color. The outfit’s centerpiece had become a tantalizing sundress made from a soft, ribbony material. It was fit for royalty, almost, but dangerously close to too short a skirt and too flowy a fabric. The wretched thing wanted to show off as much of his pretty legs as possible.
He shivered. The guards and butlers he distracted earlier would be obsessed.
Alright, one more attempt. “Mom! Put it away, please! Do you see what’s happening!?”
“I’m figuring it out, okay?” Linda said, hands clenched tightly around the stone. There was an urgency to her voice. Remorse. She knew exactly what she’d done and was desperate to reverse it. “I’ll ask for something like a queen would. Then my earlier wish won’t stop me.”
“That’s a terrible idea! I keep telling you, we need to step back—”
“And spend a second longer like this?” Linda interrupted. “Look at us! Look at me! My breasts are bigger than my head! And I’m supposed to run a kingdom like this? Looking like a pornstar visiting the goddamn beach!?
“But—”
“I wish it possible to overrule wishes granted by this stone.”
The wishing stone just about exploded.
First, earthquakes. Jon and Linda lurched as trees surrounding the castle burst from the ground and stretched into the sky. A brilliant green canopy appeared above, warm sunshine seeping past as if through a kaleidoscope.
Jon narrowed his eyes. There were glowing dots floating among the giant branches. He turned to his mother. “What the heck?”
“I don’t know!” To her credit, Linda finally put the stone away. “This isn’t—”
More shaking. Wooden bridges appeared and linked the towering trees together, now adorned with gorgeous treehouse mansions. The rest of the kingdom surged in tandem. It was stunning already, but now—whimsical. Colors that popped more than they should have. More flowers and foliage, but none that Jon could recognize. Carriages pulled by… Unicorns?
Ah. Also. Several boats were flying.
“Your wish. It made magic real,” Jon realized. “Well, more real. Like, I guess you can overrule a wishing stone if there's other ways to grant wishes?”
“But I didn’t wish for more changes!” Linda said. “I wished for a way to overrule wishes.”
“Without specifying what. So the rock made the most open-ended, chaotic interpretation imaginable.”
Linda paused, eyes widening in understanding. “…Damnit.”
The final bout of shaking. This time, Jon and Linda were affected. Ears tapered to light points, features became just a smidge more ethereal, their eye colors shifted to an identical silvery hue.
…And, for whatever reason, their breasts grew just a little bit larger. For good measure.
Jon and Linda both went red, though stuck with their regal postures and unable to cover their chests. After a moment of stunned silence, Jon spoke first. “Okay. So. A little off the rails, but I still think we can get a handle on this.”
The garden gate slammed open as two panicked guards rushed in.
“Your Majesty, the fairies!” Blurted out the shorter of the pair. “They escaped the enclosure!”
Linda jumped to her feet, expression shifted to that of her queenly persona. A quick look to Jon—a mixture of sorry and talk later—before turning to the guards. “Very well. You, show me. You, call the keepers. I want a detailed account of what occurred.”
She saunted away before Jon could say another word. Once more leaving him alone and without his wishing stone.
“Well shit,” he said to himself, simply and plainly, gaze darting between the completely restructured city and his own, further-transformed body.
Un… Unacceptable! A princess’s language should be refined! Courteous! Not this… This… Um…
Jon shoved aside the unexpected thought, likely a byproduct from his mom’s earlier wish. For now, game plan: he needed information. How different was this world to his own? How did the magic work? He and his mom suddenly had pointed ears and weird, silvery eyes. Could they do spells? Were spells a thing now?
Most importantly, what happened to the people he cared about? Karyn and Zoe especially. Best scenario, they’d be easy to find and as unchanged as possible. But if not…
…Unruly s-slang! We represent not just ourself, but the entire kingdom!
Again, Jon ignored those thoughts. Luckily, this was relatively easy, unlike… He sighed. Time to see how badly his mannerisms were affected.
He stood. The motion was slow and dignified. He looked down.
For better or worse, his body was suddenly very talented at high heels—which, after his mom’s second uncontrolled wish, had become a pair of elaborate wedge sandals. His body held itself with less in-your-face confidence than hers did, though. The sensuality here was more reserved, academic. As if princess Jeanne wasn’t quite aware how pretty she looked adjusting her glasses, how tantalizingly she swung her hips when stepping forward.
It was bewildering. They were his movements, but felt as if he was dragging through quicksand. Every attempt at moving one way slid uncontrollably into another. The worst came when he reached for another buttercream muffin, however. His delicate fingers refused to touch it.
That’s enough empty carbs for one day, thank you.
Jon gave a defeated pout. Fine then. Looking for the royal library it is.
