Linda, Zoe, and Sarah got home before Roger and Mike, and were greeted at the door by two surprisingly-garish faces. Dawn’s lipstick was overdrawn, and not in a good way. Karyn’s eyeshadow was mismatched and splotchy. Both had used far too much blush. Their foundation wasn’t blended, and there were sharp lines along their jaws where you could see naked skin.
Despite an apparent exhaustion, both Zoe and Sarah managed to muster up enough strength to stifle their laughter.
Linda, however, did not. “I’m sorry girls,” she said with an embarrassed chuckle, “I just…” Linda bit her knuckle, “You both look beautiful. I’m going upstairs.”
And with that, the four girls were left to their own devices.
“You know I never wear makeup,” Karyn whined at the cheerleaders. “What were you expecting?”
“It’s not that bad,” Sarah soothed. Karyn just shot her a withering glare. “Okay, okay, it’s not great. But what if we show you?”
Karyn wanted to say no, but Dawn’s eyes lit up at the suggestion and she couldn’t disappoint the girl in the pink dress wearing too much lipstick. So, very quickly, the four girls found themselves crammed into the hallway bathroom, pressed up against the mirror, with practically all of Zoe’s makeup filling the countertop.
Zoe was using a makeup wipe to gently clear off Dawn’s face, and Sarah was doing the same for Karyn.
“This is so weird,” Karyn whispered when it seemed like Dawn’s attention was fully occupied.
Sarah frowned slightly and paused her work. “I know you have memories where we’re not friends, but I don’t remember that reality. To me you’re just… a girl I’m starting to get to know.”
“No, it’s not that.” Karyn stopped herself. “Well, it is that a little. But, how do I say this? I never really wanted to do anything girly, and I’ve never questioned that, but also I know that Jon never wanted me to do anything girly either. And, like, maybe subconsciously I was suppressing that side of me so I’d stay friends with Jon?”
Deep in Sarah’s subconscious, something about this testimony rang true.
“But now look at me. I’m trying on makeup with Sarah McMillan of all people, because Dawn asked me to. Is she really the same person? Am I even the same person?”
Zoe gave a quick glance at Karyn’s reflection in the mirror, apparently just now picking up on what was being said. “Hey Dawn, it’s pretty squished in here, let’s the two of us go upstairs.”
Sarah gave Zoe a nod of understanding. Karyn, it seemed, was too focused on her own personal crisis to pick up on the subtext: Dawn can’t hear this conversation.
“Listen,” Sarah began once the Gibsons were gone and the door closed behind them, “I can’t tell you about who you used to be. I don’t remember that person. But the person I know now is a good person, and a good friend.” Sarah wiped off the last bit of foundation from Karyn’s chin, then looked her in the eye. Despite having more room now, the closeness felt even more intimate. “Maybe there’s something about Jon, or Dawn, or both of them, some deep characteristic that draws you to them no matter what. And maybe that thing, let’s call it love, maybe sometimes it makes you want to change yourself for someone.”
“But isn’t changing yourself for someone else a bad thing?”
Sarah shrugged. “Sometimes.” She picked up a tube of primer. “If you’re changing yourself just for the other person, if it’s something that you don’t want for yourself, sure it’s a bad thing.” Sarah squirted a blob of product onto a finger and placed dots on Karyn’s chin, cheeks, and forehead. “But sometimes someone else can motivate you to be a better version of yourself. Or maybe there are different versions of you that you can be happy with, depending on who’s around you.”
“So when I’m around Jon, he makes me want to be a tomboy, and when I’m around Dawn…”
Sarah smiled as Karyn trailed off. “When you’re around Dawn, she makes you want to be pretty.”
“Oh!” Karyn gasped, suddenly remembering something. “I need to tell Zoe that I’m wearing one of her bras.”
“Why are you wearing one of Zoe’s bras?”
“Because Dawn said that my bra didn’t fit me correctly.”
“If I had told you that your bra wasn’t fitting right, or if Zoe had, would you have changed your bra?”
Karyn thought for a moment. “Not right that instant, no.”
“But you did for Dawn?”
“I don’t love Dawn,” Karyn shook her head. “She’s just a kid!”
“Well, maybe you don’t love her in that way.” Sarah put down the primer and picked up a bottle of foundation. “Maybe you love her like a little sister.”
That thought put a look of concern onto Karyn’s face.
“Listen, do you want Dawn to look up to you?”
“Yeah.” That seemed an easy answer.
“And do you want Dawn to think you’re pretty?”
“Yeah…” that answer was a bit harder, but it was true.
“Then shut up and let me make you pretty.”
Karyn obliged, and tried to follow along with what Sarah was putting on her face. And twenty minutes later, Karyn looked into the mirror and saw a person she almost didn’t recognize.
“That’s me!?”
“That’s you,” Sarah grinned. “You want to go show yourself off?”
Karyn took a deep breath, then nodded her head. Zoe and Dawn were already waiting in the living room, Dawn’s face now smiling and made up to the nines. Somewhere deep in Karyn’s heart, she felt proud of the young girl. Like she was growing up right before Karyn’s eyes. And not just in the sense that she’d been waking up a year older every day.
The moment Karyn was in view, however, Dawn began to absolutely squeal.
“Oh my god! Karyn!” She ran up and hugged the older girl tightly around the waist, careful not to let her face make contact with Karyn’s clothes lest she smudge her makeup.
Karyn looked down into glittering eyes that were surrounded by full mascara, crisp eyeliner, and bright, but tasteful, pink eyeshadow, and she felt an unfamiliar warmth fill every cavity of her being. A pleasant warmth. A comforting warmth. A warmth that was centered on the small arms that were wrapped around her.
Was Sarah right? Was this love? Was Karyn seeing Dawn like a little sister? In a moment, those questions would be washed away by a simple phrase that removed every hint of doubt and convinced Karyn that she was, indeed, filling up with love. Four simple words that exited the pink-lipsticked mouth of a young girl whose arms refused to release themselves from Karyn’s waist. Just four tiny words that might not have meant anything if anyone else had said them.
But this was Dawn, vibrating with glee, melting Karyn’s entire reality as she said: “You look so pretty!”
