Jeff grinned sadistically as he realized how much power he held in his hand. Despite what he might say otherwise Jeff was quite impressionable as many young men are. So Jeff had taken to heart what a certain purple alien tyrant had said. There were too many people in the world; overpopulation was a serious threat and the world was out of balance!
And here Jeff had a solution at his fingertips. He wasn't a complete monster so he wouldn't just blink all the extra people out of existence. The could still live but in Jeff's new world they would contribute... differently. Jeff spend all nights tweaking settings until he was satisfied with what he wrote.
Once he hit enter Jeff would make it so that 50 percent of all people would take on a new "function" of an object at some point in their lives. There was no way of telling which people would become objects at some point during or after puberty they would simply change to accommodate their new purpose. They would still be people of course they could still talk, think, lead fulfilling lives, and even have children; but they wouldn't need to eat, drink, or consume resources they would have otherwise. These human objects would imprint on a normal humans and be compelled to serve them. Of course the owner in this instance would grow attached to their objects as well.
In this new reality a man who would have in the previously been an accountant would now make a living as a chair in someone's home for example. He could walk and talk and act just like anyone else but the second his owner felt the need to sit down he would contort his body and become paralyzed until he was done being sat on. He might end up marrying his owner and have two children with her one who would grow up to be a person and another who might take after him and become a cushion for example.
Jeff felt satisfied as he pressed enter and single-handily solved overpopulation. And hey if he potentially received a human fleshlight in the deal, well that was just a bonus. but as the program was booting up he realized he hadn't set it so he was guaranteed to be an owner Jeff's eyes wet wide as reality shifted around him and there was now a fifty percent chance he would be condemned to be a possession.
