"I promise you, I don't want to hurt Tiffany. I don't want to hurt anyone, but it feels like that's all I've done lately." The pressure was getting to Jon.
He knew he needed to keep his emotions in check, but Karyn was looking at him with concern. She had lived a completely different life because he'd made a selfish wish. Despite that she was still just as kind as ever, willing to hear him out and do what she could.
'I can't keep going on my own like this.' He thought to himself. 'I feel like this guilt is tearing me apart.'
"Talk to me Jon." Karyn said gently to avoid setting him off. Things had taken a turn and she feared the look in his eyes. "Whatever you're going through I'm sure we can work through it together. Your mom, your sister and Tiffany are here for you too."
"What if I did something that isn't so easy to take back? What if I've already hurt people and they don't even know it? I don't know if I can keep talking to everyone like it's no big deal like this." Jon's grip on the stone tightened. If he was calmer he may have noticed it was starting to cut into his hand.
'This isn't good. What have I gotten myself into?' Karyn kept a calm outward appearance, but she wasn't sure what to say or do.
Though she wondered why he had chosen to open up to her like this she could see his reasons. He didn't want to worry his family or Tiffany, but must have wanted someone close enough he felt safe with to bare his soul. Someone mature like his girlfriend's mother who could give an experienced insight without the cold indifference of a stranger must be the reason.
"Jon, I've made my share of mistakes. I'm not proud of it, but there are people I've hurt. People I've used and abandoned. You have to face yourself, look inside and choose to improve. The fact you feel guilty enough to ask for my help means you want to improve, right?" Karyn spoke from the heart. If this boy needed a shoulder to cry on she'd play therapist and see him through this mess.
"I guarantee you haven't made a mistake like this." Jon spat bitterly. "Sometimes I wish there was someone who knew what I'd done and what it's been doing to everyone."
It was the heat from the stone that caused Jon to realize what he'd just done. In a moment of weakness he'd made another mistake.
As Jon's face paled he tried to memorize the words he'd just spoken. Someone was about to know about his wish.
Though he felt stupid a part of him was actually happy. Depending on who gained the knowledge he may not be alone anymore. Then he realized depending on who knew he may have just made an enemy he may not see coming.
There were some people he hoped could be the person though. Even if they hated him, screamed and yelled at him, a part of them would be who he'd always known. It was a strange sort of anxiety and comfort.
