Alright Naomi. It’s only the climactic finish to a four year-long pathfinder campaign. No pressure.
She stared at her computer, reading and rereading every note, detail, and backup plan she could possibly have for tonight’s session. There was a lot, and despite all those grueling hours of prep, she was most definitely unprepared in any way that mattered. Her players were fun like that. So spontaneous and good at… Pissing on her ideas like the murder-hobos they were, going off course and deciding that improvised nothings like “Boblin the goblin” had more going on than her seventeen-gajillion plot hooks.
Like, this wasn’t supposed to be a story of political intrigue. But Kat decided she preferred seducing that one orc than kill him, and it all spiraled from there. Frantic behind-the-screen writing and haphazard role-play, unnamed NPCs becoming a lot more important than they had any right to be, and that one lich being quietly replaced with a some BS plot twist.
Not once in the campaign had Naomi ever felt like she knew what she was doing. Not once in the campaign had Naomi correctly planned for the crap her players would get up to. Not once in the campaign had Naomi managed to do the lich fight she really, really wanted.
But her players enjoyed it. Somehow. Against all odds, and sense, and logic; they kept coming for more—
There was the Discord ding. Someone joined the call.
“Naomi! Hi!!!”
Naomi jerked and immediately lowered Kat’s volume. It was already down to 70%, but Kat was… Loud as she was enthusiastic.
“So. Last session. That’s so cool. And stressful, probably! But you’re not stressed, are you? That would suck.”
Kat was very enthusiastic.
“Nah,” Naomi lied. “Everything is… I’m fine. I spent, like, a really long time preparing for—”
“Oh right, Lori’s gonna take a little bit. Work ran late, which means dinner ran late, which means she’s still eating, which means…” Lori was Kat’s roommate. Lori was a few minutes late to every session.
There was another Discord ding.
“Hey.” The voice was soft and quiet and polite—Elise. Naomi turned Elise’s volume up.
“Hi Elise!!!” said Kat. “How are you? You ready for the finale? I’m not, because I dropped my good D20 under the bed and I cannot find it.”
“Hi Kat! Good, I sure hope so, and… Oh no?” Elise was very sweet and wholesome and could do no wrong. She was also, for some god awful reason, the party’s only damage dealer.
A third discord ding. Then a sound of a candy wrapper, before the player remembered to mute himself.
“Travis! Hey!” Kat said. “Are you ready? I was just telling the others that I’m not, because—”
“Couldn’t find your dice. I heard from Elise’s computer,” said Travis, in the brief moment he allowed himself to unmute. Travis was the only guy in the group, a big ol’ softy, and Elise’s boyfriend—which is why he was invited in the first place. He became a good friend in the years they all played together (as much as they teased him) and Naomi was low-key hoping he’d stay for the next campaign.
…If she had the energy to run one, that is. Or, maybe, if she could get someone else to DM for once. That’d be nice.
A fourth ding.
“Hey, hi, sorry,” said Lori, as she audibly unzipped her dice bag and cleared whatever trash she had laying on her desk. “I was—work was—no, wait, Kat probably already told you. Hi. Again.”
Normally, they’d take a few moments to check in. See how things were going, vent about work, maybe review the last session. But tonight was different, because tonight was already fifteen minutes behind and would definitely go on for a few extra hours.
So Naomi jumped right into it, and the players went quiet.
“We once again visit the realm of Eldros,” she said, in her very best DM voice. “In most ways, it’s just another day. The good people of Rivermouth, Fool's March, and Frostford (yes, Kat, these are towns you’ve been to) are living the best lives they can. The Whisper Woods, in its looming darkness and cruel beauty, still spreads to the surrounding valleys. Archbishop Niallo, supreme mistress to the cult of Red Twilight and Oracle to Ardad Lili, continues to weave the very web you seek to untangle.”
Naomi paused and counted to five.
“And as always, my dear adventurers, you are in hot shit.”
She swallowed, forcing down the tremble in her voice.
“You had one goal. Stop the Grimspire Summit and denounce Niallo, before she enchants the most powerful figures in the country. This single goal became two, when you learned Niallo sent an assassin after the prince. Then three, when the hell-gate (that you chucklefucks forgot to close) tore open and released monstrosities onto the land. Then four, when Niallo successfully brainwashed the grand duke while you not only failed at fixing problems two and three…”
Another pause. Naomi smiled.
“But decided to split the party… Uh… Hang on guys, I think there’s something with my computer.”
At some point during her description, some kind of... Pop-up? Virus? Ad? An image, bright, gaudy, and flashy, took over her whole screen. A pixelated spaceship flying through a night sky, with a neon orange ‘DISCO GALAXY: PLAY NOW!!!’ occupying in the foreground.
“…I might have it, too,” said Elise. Her voice came out slowly, nervously, as if she felt guilty to interject after Naomi’s narration. “And… Why can’t I close it?”
“Disco Galaxy, right?” Travis unmuted himself. “I think we both got it, El. But I know I didn’t download anything weird…”
“It’s on my computer too!” Said Kat, the smile in her voice beyond apparent. “Hey, what if I clicked on it—”
“Kat. No. Bad.” Lori cut in. She’d said this exact string of words many, many times. “It’s definitely some kinda virus, and I’m not spending another five hours removing shit from your computer again.”
“But—”
“Kat.”
“You’re no fun…”
A breath. Sure enough, Naomi couldn’t find any way to close the window… Oh. Huh. Now the whole screen was flashing.
“I-pressed-it-I’m-sorry!” Squeaked Kat.
“Dude! Seriously!?” Lori shouted.
“I know! I was just, like, really curious, okay? I mean, isn’t it kinda weird how we all—”
And the world went white.
And then it went black.
And Naomi woke up to something very, very strange.
