Jon reached over and grabbed his phone off his nightstand. “Ugh... Shut up alarm.” Jon groaned silencing his alarm and tossing his phone next to him in bed. "I’m on vacation today...” Jon rolled over and squinted at the TV that sat on a dresser in his bedroom. “I could turn on the weather. Maybe Gina will be on...” In his head Jon pictured the cute weathergirl that he enjoyed watching in the mornings. “But the remote is too far away...” Jon’s squinting eyes looked over at the remote that sat on the edge of his nightstand. “Ugh.” Jon groaned and pulled the covers up over his head.
Two hours later and Jon was standing in the shower. “Okay... I drive back to Lake Point, say hi to Mom and Dad, and then I guess I’ll get Zoe and Jamie gifts cards from the mall.” Jon ran his fingers through his thinning hair. “What’s even left at the mall?” Jon tried to rack his brain for what was left in the once bustling mall. “Sears is gone... Is JCPenney's still there?.. I should get Zoe a Hot Topic gift card.” Jon chuckled at the thought of getting his sister a gift card from the store she frequented as a teen. “But is that even still there?” As Jon continued his long shower he began to map out his holiday vacation back home. “Two days back in Lake Point... Xmas... Maybe one or two more days around town and then back home.” Jon grabbed the shower head and rinsed off his round belly. “I really need to start working out in 2024... But...” Jon thought back to last year when he got a Planet Fitness membership. He went a total of 5 times and was billed for a total of 10 months because he was too lazy to cancel the membership. “Maybe I just start running instead... Or something. A skinny guy with a gut is just...” Jon placed the shower head back on it’s holder and continued to let the warm soothing water bounce of his body.
Five hours later and Jon was almost done with his 3 hour drive back to Lake Point. “Man...” Jon grumbled to himself as Limp Bizkit played in his car. “How did my life end up like this?” Jon had spent most of his drive back to Lake Point listening to music from his youth while he rehashed memories from his life. “I was going to be a lawyer... I was going to make good money... I was going to have a beautiful wife and a couple of awesome kids... How did I end up here?” Jon grabbed his phone off the passenger seat and skipped forward through a couple more songs as he continued his drive. “At least I’ve got a decent job...”
“You’re a glorified secretary.” A Jon’s internal monologue quipped.
“No!” Jon barked out loud at the voice in his head. “I’m an administrative assistant for the top athletic department at the best university in the state!”
”But weren’t you going to be a lawyer?” Jon’s internal monologue clapped back. ”Or were you going to be a high school history teacher?” Jon cringed as he thought about his 5 year stint as a high school teacher. ”Teaching was your backup to law school wasn’t it? If you bombed the LSAT you could always go back to school and become a teacher and look what that got you. Five years of parents and students shitting all over you. So you gave up and became a secretary.”
Jon seethed at his internal monologue as it continued to taunt him. “SHUT UP!” Jon yelled as his fingers dug into the steering wheel. Glancing over at his phone Jon once again snatched it off the passenger seat and began to skip through songs until it landed on Photograph by Nickelback. “Fuck...” Jon groaned as he sat his phone back down and let the song play. In his head he pictured Hailie who he had dated freshman year of college. Jon let out a sigh as he thought about her cute smile that could light up a room. “I should have never dumped her...”
”You were an idiot for dumping her.” Jon’s internal monologue scolded Jon. ”You thought you could do better than Hailie... How stupid are you?”
Jon winced as he pictured his next girlfriend Kelly. “Kelly wasn’t that bad...” Jon mumbled as he thought about their 2 year relationship. Kelly wasn’t as cute or as sweet as Halie, but she did like to party and they did have a lot of fun. “I mean we did have a lot of fun together.”
”Right up until you found out how much fun she was having with other guys.” Jon’s internal monologue triggered a memory of the day that he found out Kelly had been cheating on him. ”At least Morgan didn’t cheat on you.”
Jon pictured Morgan who he had dated throughout his mid 20s. There was nothing objectively wrong with Morgan, she just wasn’t Halie... or even Kelly. “Morgan was fine...” Jon mumbled as their 5 year relationship played on fast forward through his head.
”And yet you still thought you could do better. Tsk Tsk Tsk.” Jon’s internal monologue continued to mock the now somber Jon. ”Who would have guessed dating would be more difficult in your 30s than in your 20s.”
This time Jon didn’t have a response for his internal monologue. He had been on a few dates since he broke up with Morgan, but that was it. He was on a decade long dry spell that was more sad than anything. As Photograph faded out on the radio the piano intro of How to Save a Life by The Fray filled Jon’s car.
