"Well that's an easy decision to me," Jon said.
"Yeah, no kidding," Karyn agreed.
"Obviously," Jon began, and then Jon and Karyn said together, "I would rather be..."
"A fox," Jon finished, while Karyn said "human," at the same time.
"What?!" they both said together, astonished and backing away from each other a few inches.
The purple man smiled at the discord. A bag of popcorn poofed into existence in his hands, and he started eating them.
"Karyn, did you not listen to what he just said? I know, it was a very lengthy explanation, but it's important to..."
"same to you you weirdo!" Karyn shouted, miffed. "If you're a fox, physically, do you think our society will even give you full rights? Like do you think you'll be given a fair shake in a court of law? Someone could shoot you dead and only face misdemeanor charges! And then what if you get sick, do you think a human hospital will accept you in? And if you go to a veterinarian, do you think you'll get the same treatments? Like there are all sorts of drugs that are only for humans. And a fox isn't even a common pet, so if you need surgery, for anything, that requires blood reserves, do you think there are a lot of foxes donating blood?"
"Well," Jon said, her thoughts derailed. She hadn't even been thinking of things remotely in that direction, and Karyn had made some points that actually had some merit. "I mean, if there was a talking fox, who went around wearing clothes, I think he's going to be treated differently than a regular fox. But at least I wouldn't be out in the yard trying to kill squirrels with my bare teeth! Or at all for that matter. And shitting out there too. And unlike you, if I was put on the stand in a court of law, I would actually be able to speak, if you were there, you'd be yowling and barking. You won't even be able to speak on the phone!"
"And you won't even be able to pick up the phone!" Karyn retorted.
"Well I may be unable to pick up the phone, or maybe I could do it with a great deal of difficulty, but you definitely 100 percent wouldn't be able to speak on it, so what would be the point of answering it."
"Jon, there are people who are mute, I wouldn't need to go around making fox sounds, I could just be quiet, and write out things I want to say. You on the other hand would absolutely draw a crowd and be unable to hide being a fox. You could barely even manage to close and lock the bathroom door before."
"Oh, yes, about that, Karyn, remind me why I was trying to close and lock the bathroom door in the first place again? Oh yeah, it was because you had lost your goddamn mind, and now you want your mental state to be changed back to that again. Is that what you want your every moment to be like? Speaking of legal repercussions, I wonder what would happen if you, as a human man, went out and started raping women just because you liked how they smelled. I think even if I didn't get a fair shake in a court of law, I would have a lot less to worry about if I actually had the mental capacity to follow the laws in the first place!"
"Oh," Karyn said, his thoughts derailed. That was a pretty good point, he would have to admit. "But still. I mean, that doesn't make up for, all the, hmmm... I guess you'll just have to satisfy all my needs so that I don't need to do that, Jon, he he."
"Satisfy your needs? Not if you're a human man and I'm a... wait, do we have to decide on the same thing?" Jon asked the purple man.
"It's true, if I'm doing this because I think you're a cute couple and I want to make it interesting, it stands to reason that you should be physically compatible or else that would ruin it. I'll tell you what. If this is what you want, I'll make you a human-sized fox, with DNA in the important places that is close enough to allow you to interbreed with humans to produce healthy, fertile offspring. Lots of offspring. Big litters, with a gestation time of 2 months. You're going to have more kits than you know what to do with. Because that's the way I roll."
"What will our kids be like," Jon asked, blushing at the thought.
"Throw of the dice," the purple man said with a perversely huge grin like the cheshire cat from that old Alice in Wonderland cartoon. "Some will look human, some foxes, some in between, maybe furries, maybe just fox ears and a tail, and with instincts and behavior that are rolls of the dice too, some will be talkers, some will just be able to make fox sounds. Complete luck of the draw."
"Want to go for it, Karyn?" Jon asked.
"Let's do it, this could be fuuoouuuwww! Aawwwwweee heee owowwww?" Karyn whined in surprise, while Jon fell forward to catch herself on her front paws.
"The decision is made," the purple man said. He apparently wasn't big on much delay when decisions were made, on giving much chance for second thoughts.
"Karyn! Oh god, Karyn, not right, in front of, oh... can't, we, at least, do it, face to face, like humans?" Jon said, as Karyn had mounted her from behind and was already copulating with her. It felt so good to actually give in. At least the pressure was off. They were going to be stuck this way no matter what, but it wasn't so bad.
"I'll leave you two kiddos to have fun. I'm off to explore the outer solar system. I think I'll toss some asteroids and comets towards Earth. Not too big, no civilization enders. Just big enough to keep you humans on your toes. I'll check in on you in a few years.
"Aoowwww!" Karyn whined, trying to complain to Jon and ask her to stop wagging her tail and to just hold it to the side. But Jon couldn't help but wag her tail, she was just too happy not to. Things hadn't worked out too bad, after all.
Meanwhile, in a realm of existence not too far off:
Sarah groped harder at her breasts, breathing hard through her nostrils, and squinted her eyes tightly. She was so horny she couldn't stand it, but had no outlet for it. She wanted to scream, but she couldn't. Only 999 million, 999 thousand, 999 years, 364 days, 23 hours and 24 minutes to go. Or would that be a little different, because of leap years? She didn't know.
