Jenny came into the bedroom she and Melanie were sharing after brushing her teeth. She peered at the book on the windowsill. "Why'dja leave that there?" she asked.
Melanie, who was already lying in bed and waiting for sleep to come, smiled slightly. The feeling she was experiencing was warm, pleasant and sad at the same time, like she was watching a thing she'd raised go off on its own. She might never meet this other link to her old self again, but...she was glad it was making the wiser choice, all the same. "That one is done hiding," she said. "It must face the Sun, and find its own self."
Jenny blinked, trying to figure that out - but she thought back to the events at the library, and had a sneaking suspicion she knew exactly what Melanie was talking about. "Oh," she said. "Okay."
She shut off the light and got into bed. It was a while before Melanie spoke. "J-Jenny?" she asked. Names...she was beginning to get used to them, but they still seemed strange to her... "Why did you not banish me?"
Jenny turned to face her, staring at her in surprise. She thought about the question - why hadn't she? It was her job, wasn't it? And she could've done it...she could've manifested her weapon, or even when she'd had her mom's gun...but the thought of that made her feel kind of sick. How could she do something like that? Melanie was...even then, she was...
"Be...b'cause you're a person," she said.
"But we were in opposition." Melanie felt upset as she thought back on that...to be placed into a world where existence itself brought new and pleasant experiences, only to be given a purpose that would rob her of that...but she had intended to follow through, up until the point where her resolve finally broke. Jenny would have been well within her rights...
"But it wasn't fair!" Jenny said. "They were awful t' you, an' it wouldn'ta been fair to hurt you 'cause of that! An' you woulda never even got to have a life..." And, she thought, there was something inside her that had sympathized a little - the idea of having such an empty life, existing for one purpose alone, cut short before she could even get to experience all the good things in life...it struck a chord with her, for some reason.
Melanie eyed her curiously. "Then...because you felt...I should have life?" Jenny nodded. The insect-girl smiled. "Th-thank you," she said.
"I...I, um...don't know..." Ricky stammered. her mechanisms clicking. Did she need a bra? Was that the kind of thing she was supposed to be wearing now? She wasn't sure how she felt about that - should she be upset at the idea? She was happier to be a girl than an it, but did that mean that she was actually okay with the idea of being a girl? She didn't know... "They...um, they don't move..." she said.
"May I?" asked the shopkeeper. Ricky held still and let her feel the way her breasts were formed directly as part of her torso shell. "Hmm," she said. "So they don't. I guess it's not needed for support, then...though you may still want one to prevent chafing, I'm not sure..."
"...oh," Ricky said. She hadn't thought of that. Was that something to be concerned about? She didn't know if anything she was going to be wearing was rough enough on the inside that it could cause damage to the velvety fabric that covered her body, but then, her nipples did seem to be sensitive to the touch, so maybe... Her mother nodded. "We'd probably better get a couple just in case," she said. "Better to have and not need than to need and not have."
They took her back into one of the dressing rooms and got her measured (while her father waited in the main area of the shop,) and her mom picked out a couple simple bras for her. Anne had been trying to keep her enthusiasm in check, but she did allow herself one little smart remark. She tapped the side of Ricky's breast, and it made a gentle clank. "At least you'll never have to worry about them sagging!" she said, grinning. Ricky again felt that she would have blushed, if she could, as a spring somewhere inside her wound up a little tighter.
While Ricky was back there, they went ahead and found some underwear in her size, as well. Ricky wondered whether she even needed that, but she didn't feel any need to contest it. (After all, she was already in the habit of wearing it.) After that they had her start trying on pants to find a good fit. "You know," mused the shopkeeper, while Ricky was doing this, "skirts are actually a good look for her. But something a little shorter might look better on her..."
"Well, a little shorter, maybe," her mother said. "But...not really short. And wouldn't that draw attention to her knees?"
The saleslady nodded. "Exactly," she said. "It'd highlight them pretty nicely. You might as well do it purposefully; there's certainly no disguising her joints, unless she wears elbow-length gloves and knee socks all the time. ...though honestly, that wouldn't be a bad look, either..."
The clockwork girl felt a little awkward, springs compressing and gears spinning a little faster as she shrank back a bit. She...she almost did feel a little like a doll, the way they were talking...she glanced to Anne. Anne smiled knowingly. "It's not just you," she said, quietly. "That's just moms. They like to talk about how nice you'd look in so-and-so, is all. You'll get used to it."
In the end, what she got was largely pants, but some shorts and a few skirts as well. Her mother took her aside for a moment. "I promise I'm not going to make you wear anything you don't want to, honey," she said. "But I do think you should give these a try, when you feel comfortable with it; you might find that you like them." Ricky really wasn't sure how she felt about that - the idea that she'd ever grow accustomed to girls' clothes...but...she supposed it wasn't unreasonable to suggest that she at least try...sometime...
With all that taken care of, they returned to the issue of tops. "I think you're going to have to get used to shirts that close in the back," the shopkeeper said. "Your...um, your key...is much too big to just slip through a hole, and I imagine the fact that it's turning would make it too difficult to get through a slit in the back."
"But I thought you said you don't have anything for her?" Ricky's mother asked.
"Nothing for her specifically, no," the saleslady replied. "But we do certainly have blouses that button in the back, and...oh, I think I know. Just a moment." She ran off to one of the specialty sections that had been set up in the store for different kinds of changed, and came back with a shirt. "Some of the aquatic changed have dorsal fins," she said. "But placement and length at the base depends on what kind of sea creature they're based on, so instead of trying to match all the different arrangements, we came up with this. It zips down from the top and up from the back, so it can be adjusted to match just about anything that's centered horizontally. You can close it pretty much all the way up to the key shaft, if you like."
"Oh, that's perfect," Ricky's mother said, smiling. They found some in her size, and got a number of those and some button-up blouses as well. Ricky was relieved that, for the moment, her mother hadn't gotten her anything in pink.
"You don't happen to have a jacket with something like that, do you?" her mom asked. "I don't know if she's sensitive to temperature, but it'd probably be better to have one anyway."
The shopkeeper shook her head. "No, not at the moment. We'll look into getting one made, though."
Her mother smiled. "Oh, bless you."
They met up with Ricky's father back in the main area of the store and paid. After that, they had a late dinner in the food court. Ricky held off for the time being; she still wasn't sure what had happened to the tea from earlier. It didn't seem to be sloshing around her insides, but it certainly hadn't leaked out - had it been evaporated by something inside her? Maybe whatever energy source kept her barely moving when she'd wound down? She wasn't sure if it would be a good idea to put anything more inside her just yet.
Her mainspring ran down again in the middle of the meal, and her father had to wind her in the middle of the food court; she caught several people staring at them as this happened. This is going to be my life now, she thought. She was always going to be running down, in public or in private, and she would have to have people help her, since she couldn't wind herself...she supposed she was lucky to have people that she could trust to help her, then...
After that, they made their way home, dropping Anne off at her house first. She gave Ricky a little reassuring hug before she went. "I just think you should know," she whispered to the clockwork girl, "you did turn out pretty neat." Then she went inside, and they left for home.
At home, the last remains of the evening were spent in unpacking the purchases and getting them put away in Ricky's closet, and packing up her old clothes to be donated. Then her parents went to bed, and she was left to herself.
Left to herself...with nothing but the quiet settling noises of the house and the tick-tick-tick of her own gears. This was all so strange...to know that she existed as an elaborate mechanism, in which a person was implemented...she thought of her earlier doubts, but the people around her had been quite insistent that she was still a person, and they would be the better judges of it. She didn't get hungry, and she wasn't sure if she could eat or not, she didn't get sleepy - even when she ran down, it didn't make her feel like going to sleep. She didn't, as far as she could tell, have to go to the bathroom, and why would she, if she didn't eat. She wasn't bound by the biological functions that define the human schedule; if it weren't for her mainspring running down, she could probably remain active all the time, indefinitely.
But did she want to? Even if she could find someone to wind her while her parents were asleep, she still wasn't sure that she was ready to go out in the daytime world yet. And if she wasn't going out, what would she fill the time at home with? What did she normally do, to fill the time?
Ricky found herself flashing over all those pictures, thinking of the feelings she'd experienced and the things she'd imagined doing...gah! She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. That...so many questions...could she even feel that kind of thing anymore, let alone with...pictures of other girls? If she could...would it be more of a girl's kind of experience? What would that be like? She didn't really know. But...no! No...she wasn't ready for anything like that...not yet. She still had yet to get used to even ordinary life in this body...
So...what, then? She could try to fill the time, until she wound down and could no longer move...would she fall asleep then? But she hadn't the last couple times...it didn't even make her feel sleepy. Could she sleep? Or would she have to spend the rest of her life being awake, even if she couldn't move? Maybe...maybe if she just...tried to sleep...
The clockwork girl shut her eyes, and let her body go...not exactly limp, but relaxed. "Relaxed" for her seemed to mean a loosening of springs and a slowing of gears, though she remained standing all the same. One by one, her mechanisms slowed to a stop, until finally there was only the faintest ticking from inside her head and somewhere deep in her chest. Her key chunked to a halt, and slowly, it began to turn the other way, re-winding the spring.
