Andy arrived in the kitchen, with Alex trailing not too far behind her. She was torn; she didn't want to just leave off - she wanted to continue apologizing, reconnect, do anything to show her child that she regretted her behavior. But...she didn't think she was really ready yet. She was still emotionally shaken and drained, and hungry to boot; if she tried to interact in this state, she might very easily lose it and snap at her - and then where would they be?
She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself just a bit, and opened up the fridge. At first she wasn't sure what she wanted, but she spotted a bag of mixed salad and eagerly grabbed it, stomach growling. Andy had never been much of a salad fan before, but she wanted it now - and frankly, of the various side-effects of her change, this was by far the least distressing.
She sat down with the salad, the bottle of dressing that was in the fridge (she assumed it matched the salad, Susan must've bought both,) and a glass of water, poured a little dressing on top, and dug in, famished. The sensation was hardly euphoric, but it was good food to her altered tastebuds - the greens were still pretty crisp (as much as could be expected of bagged salad, anyway,) the tomatoes juicy, and the little carrot-shreds flavorful.
Andy was surprised by how quickly she tore through the whole bag; she'd felt hungry, but she'd had no idea just how hungry. Granted, she hadn't eaten in over twelve hours, but even so...did the transformation make her hungry? She had no idea. Regardless, she felt a bit better now - engaging in a mundane comfort like a good meal just made her feel better, somehow.
Still, she knew that lunch wasn't the solution to her real problems. She was just starting to think about her situation when there was a knock at the front door. The bunny-girl sat at the table, steadying her nerves; she could hear Susan slithering towards the entryway. It was...it was awfully considerate of him to be giving her space...after the way she'd acted to her wife...
She caught the sound of her mate's voice...and that same spellbound feeling welled up within her, so that she could hardly pay attention to what he was actually saying. "Oh, Maple," Sue said, "um, yes, I'm Susan. We've...had a bit of a morning here."
The visitor said something Andy couldn't make out. "Oh, did you?" Susan answered. "Yeah, she's...taking it pretty hard. If you could do that...I don't know how she'll take it, but I think it'd be good for her."
Andy had just realized what was happening when Mrs. Maple entered the kitchen and took a seat at the table across from her. The rabbit-woman...the other rabbit-woman nodded to Alex, who nodded back and headed out to the living room.
"Hello, Andy," Maple said, looking her directly in the eye.
Andy couldn't bring herself to meet her neighbor's gaze. She was here, just here to talk with her? After all the things she'd said - accused her of turning her family against her, called her a whore to her face...and yet here she was, not even visibly angry. It was like...like everyone in her life was proving themselves a better person than her, without even trying...
She sat there for a moment, trying to figure out how to respond in a way that would leave them on an even footing...but she gave up. There wasn't one. "Um...Maple," she mumbled, "I'm...'m sorry."
Maple nodded. "I've heard liquor talk before, Mr. Thompson. I never paid it any mind then, and I wasn't planning to any time soon."
Andy sighed, almost wishing she could slip back into her pattern of denial and self-deception...no. It was a miracle that she even had a second chance; she wasn't going to let herself go down the same path. She hated to admit it, but... "It, uh, it wasn't just the alcohol." She blushed, feeling more ashamed than ever.
Maple shrugged. "Well, maybe I'll fume at you in private later. Right now...I'm not in the habit of kicking people while they're down. Andy, I came here to talk with you...in case you needed to ask anything of someone who's experienced a similar change."
The new bunny-girl stared at her. She knew what Maple was driving at, and while she felt like she didn't really want the answer...she needed to know. "H-how do you d-deal with it?" she asked, her lip trembling. "How do you m-make it g-go away...?"
Her neighbor sighed. "Andy, I'm going to give you the truth, but...I can't promise you'll like it." She leaned forward, taking on a sort of strictly-confidential pose. "You don't. It's just part of the package. As one married wo-uh, person to another, Mr. Thompson, the way I deal with it?"
A smile crept across her face. "The way I deal with it is this: I keep my drives under control during the day, I keep myself civil and decent like any other adult has to. And then when I get home and it's just Theo and I? I let it all out."
Andy blushed. To hear this, to have Maple taking her into her confidence like this...it was the last thing she was prepared for. She had no defense against this, no pre-calculated response with which to brush it off, nothing to prevent her from facing the raw fact.
"B-but I...I c-can't...!" she gasped. "I can't even...I just can't! If I let it control me..."
Maple shook her head. "It can't control you, Andy," she said. "It's not going to go away, not unless you do something drastic to cripple your own natural responses, maybe not even then. But it's never going to be able to force you to do anything. How you choose to deal with it is your decision, but...that's what works best for me."
She took a deep breath. "Look, Andy. The reason I take the approach I do? It's because I know my husband. I know I can trust him, that he'll never take advantage of that trust. I'm not going to pretend to be a marriage counselor, but from what I've seen talking to Susan? He's every bit as trustworthy."
Andy didn't need to be told that, really - Sue had stood by her through everything she'd done, not out of some twisted dependence, but because he knew she was still in there, beneath the decaying exterior and and the wall she'd put up...
It was just...she'd never thought of it in this context before. She could trust Sue. She'd always been so weak, so vulnerable; that was why she put up such a hard exterior, to protect herself from hurt. And even before her struggle with alcoholism had turned her into a monster of a man...had she ever really let down her guard, even with her own wife?
She couldn't remember. The thought that even in their most intimate moments, she might have been hiding herself away from her mate...it made her sick. How could she? Had it really been so important to preserve her fragile ego that she'd lie to her mate in order to keep her from seeing how...how weak she really was?
She didn't want to believe it, but she couldn't deny that it sounded plausible. So much trouble she'd gone to to hide it from everyone, including herself...so much hurt she'd caused as a result, driving away even her own family...and to have missed out on true intimacy, all because she was afraid to admit that she was afraid...to trust someone with her fragile heart...
She couldn't hold back the tears, but she didn't even want to anymore. They were the only appropriate reaction...the only response to this awful realization that made any sense. How many wasted years and missed opportunities were there in her life? Too many. She...she couldn't do this anymore. Whatever came next...she couldn't go on hiding behind her mask.
Andy didn't know if she'd ever be ready to act on the urges that were now a part of her. Truth be told, the idea still terrified her. But...even if that day never came...she was going to trust Susan.
She sat there, slumped onto the kitchen table, crying into her arms. She felt a strong, gentle pair of hands on her shoulders, and nuzzled against them.
Haru still couldn't quite believe everything she'd heard. The things that Brittany had told her...it was simply mind-boggling. Not only because she had just about lost any idea of where history ended and myth began, but because that sensation, of being drawn into a larger world...made perfect sense.
Maybe she'd been looking at it all wrong. She'd been thinking of this as if the world she knew were Reality, and the things she had seen were terrifying new interlopers that didn't belong...what if that wasn't true? What if her world had, all along, been only a narrow part of the true Reality, a bubble in the ocean, and it was now that she was breaking through into the real thing?
Of course, that couldn't account for everything, she didn't think. Some things were legitimately bad. Tiffany, for instance, or whatever that shadow around her was...there was no way that could be merely some misunderstood facet of a larger existence. And whatever she'd been letting through...that was a million times worse. Yet still...she couldn't be all bad, could she?
Really, Haru didn't know. She was only just beginning to come to terms with the existence of these things, let alone understand them. But...somehow, she would figure this out. Now, though, it was time for practice. She tried to steel herself for the task as she strode towards the back of the library. She couldn't put it off any more - she at least owed her...her friends the truth.
Haru arrived in the practice room to find everybody already there. Naomi the drummer smiled and waved both her left hands. "Hey, Haru!"
"H-hi," the Chinese girl said. "Um...look, before we get started..."
Zara the angel-girl bassist gave her a curious look. "Something on your mind?"
She swallowed hard, nodding. "Y-yeah. I...my name is actually Harry, and I was a boy before I changed...I don't know if that means anything to any of you, but I guess it's not as obvious as I thought, so I just thought you ought to know..." She let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd taken.
There was a brief pause, and then Zach the leonine guitarist was chuckling. "Ah, don't sweat it," he said. "You're not the first, you know."
She blinked, trying to process what she'd just heard, looking around the room. Zara got a bit of an embarassed look on her face, but nodded. "I, um, I was too," she said. "I actually went with 'Zara' because otherwise we'd have two Zachs."
Haru didn't realize she was staring, but she was. This girl was a guy, too? She never would have guessed...she was even wearing lipstick, the same color as the cherry finish on her bass...
"So, uh, what do we call you, then?" Naomi asked.
Haru blushed a little. "Y-you can call me Haru...if you want..."
"Yeah, I think we will," Zach laughed. "Suits you."
Haru glanced at Ken, sitting over by the keyboard; he was smiling. She smiled back, then remembered something. Digging around in her backpack, she pulled out his jacket and handed it to him. "Um, thanks," she whispered.
Zara and Naomi noted this with quiet amusement, but said nothing.
