The counselor nodded. "It's difficult to say for sure, isn't it?" she said. "Even if you knew one way or the other what the future held, it would be difficult to know how you'd react to it. But say you did know that you'd spend the rest of your life as you are now. What do you think could keep you from being happy like this?"
Harry frowned. "I...well, for one...I don't look anything like my parents anymore..." That seemed like kind of a trivial thing, but...she liked her parents, liked being part of a family with them.
"Mm. And I assume you're worried about becoming...disconnected from them as a result?"
The Chinese girl hesitated, then nodded.
"I see," the Gorgon said. "Has anything like this happened so far?"
Harry thought for a moment, then smiled. "No...they treat me just the same...I guess it just kind of bugs me on principle..."
"That's understandable. What else do you think would bother you?"
"Well..." She blushed. "The...um, the menstruation thing..."
The counselor laughed. "I can sympathize there."
"Do you...does it still bother you, when you're an adult?" Harry asked.
The counselor looked a little surprised, and Harry realized that that was kind of a personal thing to be asking. But the older woman didn't seem to be actually offended. "It, uh," she chuckled. "I'm not bothered by it anymore, but that's because my new body has an...alternate approach to bothering me. In general, though...it does still hurt, yes. But you learn to deal with it as you grow older."
"Huh." That wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear, though it was reassuring at least to know that it wasn't just her mother expressing sympathy - or was it comiseration?
"Anything else?"
"I, um..." Harry wasn't really sure if she wanted to go here or not, but... "I guess really it's just...I don't know what it means to be...to be a girl. Does it mean anything? Is it something you're just born knowing?"
"I'm getting the feeling that this is at the heart of everything, isn't it?" the counselor asked. The three-eyed girl nodded; this was all she really wanted to know - was she a real girl, or not?
"It's quite the controversial topic," the counselor said. "A lot of people have a lot of different opinions about it, and most of them seem to feel very strongly about the issue. Really, there's no universally or even commonly-accepted answer."
Harry frowned. "Then...how am I supposed to know...whatever it is I'm supposed to know?"
"That's a good question," the Gorgon-woman mused. "I wish I'd known - it would've saved me some trouble when I was growing up. Harry, I've been a woman all my life, and even I'm not really certain what it 'means.' If I were you, I'd focus less on trying to figure out whether you're going about being a girl the 'right' way and more on just figuring out how to be you."
Harry nodded - certainly that had been enough of a job so far...
"I think," the counselor said, "that for this week, what I'd like you to do is be thinking about what you think it means to be a girl. Not just what you've heard from other people, but from your own thoughts and observations. It might help us understand your concerns better if we look at where you're coming from."
She nodded. "Um...okay. ...see you next Friday, then?"
The counselor smiled, hair-snakes hovering perkily around her head. "See you then."
Haru smiled and left the counselor's office.
Will frowned, ears laid back. This was just...it felt so wrong. She knew they needed to keep tabs on Anneza...on Mr. Collins, and she knew that the strange woman had submitted what appeared in any reasonable interpretation to be a confession, but...it just felt wrong to her. She agreed with Lt. Jameson - there had to be something else going on here, something that would make this make sense...
...and she wanted to make sure it was found as quickly as possible, as much for the sake of this poor confused space-woman as for the sake of getting to the bottom of the school bombing. She just seemed so confused...
"Do you...do you have anybody you can put her with who isn't...um, who isn't sick?" the wolf-girl asked. That seemed a little insensitive, but...she wasn't sure how else to put it.
The orderly sighed. "We have some other transformees who are in our care, but...I wouldn't put her in with them, ideally. They're here because they can't care for themselves and don't have anyone to look after them...if she were exposed to them, to their changes...who knows how she'd feel about it? If it makes you feel any better, patients who are a danger to others aren't allowed in with the general population."
That did make her feel a little better. "Um, thanks," she said. "I'm...sorry we have to dump her on you like this..."
"We understand," he said. "You can't very well put her in prison, nor would it be very humane to keep her in a holding cell. This is probably the best solution available...it's just not the ideal solution, that's all."
Will nodded. "Yeah," she said. "We'll try and take her off your hands as soon as we can, at least." She turned to Anneza, who was still hovering uncertainly nearby. "Anneza," she said, taking the woman's hand, "I know you can't understand English, but if you get anything out of what I'm saying...please just stay here for now, okay? I'll be back for you as soon as I can, I promise..."
Anneza stared down at the young wolf-girl. She still wasn't getting a word, other than her name, but the tone was gentle and coaxing...what was she trying to say? Then she let go of her hand and was leaving...Anneza watched her go, feeling exposed and nervous...she was alone now, alone in this place with Heavens knew who.
What was going on? What was going to happen to her? They couldn't lock her up in here just like that, not without a trial. Had they brought her here to see if someone knew how to communicate with her? But if that were true, why would they leave her here? Were they leaving her overnight? But surely they could find some way of communicating that to her!
She really hoped this wasn't some sort of long-term holding...she knew she probably deserved it, but still...to be locked in here, to only ever see the stars from down through this atmospheric murk that muddled and blurred them, to never again hear their song...she couldn't bear to think of that.
Muriel took Jenny around the mall for a little while, just spending a little time with her and trying to calm herself down after the double stress of first not knowing where Jenny was and then learning that she had been in a life-or-death battle with some kind of monster...but she was all right. Her...her little girl...was all right.
She still couldn't believe what she'd been asked...what she'd agreed to. Muriel knew that, really, she did want to take care of Jenny, to be a mother to her...but it was still...just earth-shattering to actually think about. How could she be a parent!? She didn't know the first thing about it...oh God, she was going to have so much to ask Mom about...God, she hadn't even told Mom about Jenny!
Muriel was grateful for Jenny's small hand on her plated one; it had a calming effect on her, which, considering how rattled she was, she very much needed. She smiled and squeezed the little girl's hand. They did a little more sight-seeing and then went home.
She noticed that Jenny seemed pensive on the drive, and when they arrived back at Muriel's apartment, the white-haired girl clung to her side and looked up at her. "M-Ms. Muriel?" she asked. "C'n I...ask a question?"
The policewoman smiled. "You can just call me Muriel, Jenny. And of course you can." She picked her up and carried her over to the couch, where they sat.
The little girl buried herself in Muriel's side, and she wrapped an arm around her. "Muriel," Jenny said, "did you ever...did you ever hafta shoot someone?"
That was not what she'd been expecting. Muriel sat silent for a moment. "Is...is this about the fight you had today, Jenny?" she asked.
"Uh-huh...Tetra said I might hafta...to..." The little girl looked like she was on the verge of crying, and Muriel pulled her close, hugging her tight. "No, I haven't," she said. "Someday I might, but I never have. I hope I never have to."
Jenny stared at her, wide-eyed. "H-how can you d-do that?" She couldn't understand - she thought only bad people would do that, but Muriel acted like...like she could...
Muriel picked her up off the couch and carried her up to her bedroom, setting her down on the bed. She turned to the safe and began fiddling with the dial, opening it up and retrieving the handgun she kept inside.
"Jenny," she said, "I want you to hold this. It's not loaded, but don't play with it. Just feel it." She handed the gun to the little girl, who nearly dropped it on the bed.
"It's heavy!" Jenny gasped. It didn't look so big, but it was heavy...heavier than the jar of jelly in the fridge, even. It was cold, too, cold and hard. Muriel's armor was cool, not warm and soft like her skin but warm enough that it felt living, but this...this was cold metal. She shuddered at the feel - why did this make her feel so sorry? She hadn't even done anything...
"It is heavy," Muriel said. "You know why I keep this here, Jenny? It's not because I want to shoot anybody - it's because if someone broke into our house, and they wanted to hurt us, I'd want to be able to protect you."
Jenny looked at her in surprise. "But they wouldn't do that, would they?" she asked. "We didn't do anything to them..."
"Probably not," Muriel replied - God, what a first talk to have with your...your child! "But if they did...it would be awful if I couldn't do anything to stop them. Even if I didn't do anything to save myself, they might hurt you...or they might go somewhere else and hurt other people. I don't ever want to have to shoot someone, Jenny, but if I can keep them from hurting other people, then I think I should."
"Oh." Jenny didn't look entirely convinced, but she seemed less confused, at least. "Then...with me..."
Muriel sighed. "Oh, Jenny. I don't think any little girl should ever have to do something like that. That's why...that's why Tetra and I don't always get along. It feels like you got dragged into something kids shouldn't have to be a part of...but she says that being Four is just part of what you are..."
Jenny nodded. She knew that that, at least, was true - she just felt right as Four. "But if I hafta..."
"That's for you to decide, Jenny," Muriel said. "I don't want to tell you that you have to kill something, and I hope you don't have to a million times more than I hope I don't have to. But you might find some day that you have to make a choice whether to do that in order to help people." She pulled the little girl close, gently stroking her snowy hair. "I hope you never do..." she whispered.
A little smile slipped onto Jenny's face as she snuggled against Muriel. She was so brave...she could even face something like this to help other people...
