It was the first day of school and Zoe was having a lot of problems. It started in the morning, Zoe was getting dressed, but had gotten stuck on with what to wear. There was an anxiety around all her choices, this would be the first time seeing all the people, not just in small summer gatherings but ALL of them, at once. This summer she had been able to sort of tailor herself to who she was hanging out with, darker and more gothic for her goth friends and more casual jeans and tops with Athena, or Yoga pants, those things went with everything. Now as she was looking at her closet it was apparent that she was going to have to make a choice between those two things.
She thought about her summer, the whole summer was a push pull between Athena and a new life style of yoga, a lifestyle which had literally reshaped her body as well as her inner being, she now felt a peace, a control of her anger that she never had known before, as well as a growing acceptance from a group of people who she had assumed only purpose was to torment her. That was the pull, it was a gravity taking her towards a new self, but that self was also alien to who she was.
The best night of the summer had been at the Spiked Pitt, Athena had left for a late Memorial Day trip with her parents and that distance allowed a sort of feeling of freedom from the whole situation. She had let lose with her friends, allowed herself to be herself, enjoyed the music, drank, raved, reveled, and had a great time complaining with her friends about how the world was full of shit with such conviction that for that night they felt like even if the world was fucked up, and even if there was nothing to be done about it, at least they understood that together. For all of the peace and community and attraction that Athena's world offered, and Zoe was NOT willing to give those things up, that night at the spiked pitt stood out to her as who she most honestly was, though she felt like that might be changing.
She ended up going with a goth look, though in the dressing she found that some of it didn't fit anymore, it had been all summer since she had tried on the pants, so she ended up in a stylish black skirt that had been handed down to her from Athena and a white and black blouse. The final product looked more punk than goth, and the girl in it looked more jock than punk, but it was the best she could come up with.
