Miriam cocked her head. "What do you mean 'what am I doing here?' Don't you remember the wish?"
Sarah was utterly flabbergasted. She blabbered "Wh-, B-, uh, wish? What are you talking about, there's no wish here! Why wish here? Go find a shooting star or something!"
Jon rolled his eyes. "You were a better liar in my reality."
"Your reality?" Miriam thought for a moment, and then her eyes widened. "Oh no, you already made a wish, didn't you!? You said you weren't going to make a wish without me!"
"I said nothing of the sort!" Sarah blubbered. "We didn't tell you anything! You're not supposed to know anything, you can't be here!"
"You really don't remember," Miriam lamented, crestfallen. "Karyn's naked and waiting for me, and somehow you don't even remember why she would undress like that."
Karyn, for her part, was scarlet red in the face, and trying her best to cover her crotch and her big new boobs with her hands for some flimsy semblance of decency. "They wished I was here! The stone teleported me from my room, naked, to here. I wasn't 'waiting for you' or anything!" She couldn't force herself to make eye contact with any of them.
Miriam looked hurt and wanted to say something, but Jon cut her off. "Look, look, look, there's no need to get all our feelings hurt so badly when this is all probably just a big misunderstanding. It's confusing enough as is." He pinched the bridge of his nose, and sighed. "Let's just start from square one. Miriam, what do you remember?"
"...Okay." Miriam took a deep breath, and then began, "It all started earlier today..."
Jon sat on the wall after class, anxiously fiddling with the box and swaying his legs. It was the first day of school after spring break, but of course, you know that already.
Karyn was practically chased over to Jon by Miriam and Sarah. Miriam was getting handsy with Karyn, who playfully batted the hands away and cooed to Sarah to come save her. Jon felt a little twinge of something like jealousy, seeing his best friend of longer than he cared to mention so pined after by his other two best friends of longer than he cared to mention, but he was used to being a bit of a third wheel by now. When you hung out with such openly lesbian or bisexual friends so often, things could get weird fast, and there are some relationships you just didn't want to complicate.
"My Grandfather died" eventually arrested their attention. Jon told them his theory about him not being dead, showed them the Stone, and turned some branches blue to prove it worked. Eagerly, Miriam grabbed the stone away to try some wishing herself, but ultimately, she was interrupted by Lily Vanderfield, head of the volleyball team and Class-A bitch, flanked by the usual clique of jocks, cheerleaders, and other athletic types.
"God, I wish we had blonde hair and big boobs," muttered Myriam while holding the stone, "and then maybe we'd get attention like that." POOF!
"Holy shit," Sarah said. "That's what happened now, and everyone's memories were rewritten? That's so fucked up."
"Yeah, that's what I just said." Karyn had grabbed the stone during the explanation, and had just wished she had some clothes on in the meanwhile. "Y'know, I'm starting to think that maybe a complete rewrite of reality every time we want to do any little change isn't exactly something we should be trusting an inanimate object with. I mean, look at how it decided to dress me up just now!" She was in nothing but a tight blue sports bra probably meant more to accentuate than to contain, and yoga pants that clung to her ass and legs like saran wrap. Besides that, some sneakers, a band to pull her hair back into a ponytail, and a sheen of sweat that hadn't been there before making it all a little more see-through than it probably should have been, she was entirely unadorned.
Sarah's eyes practically bulged when she took a look at post-wish Karyn. A heat flushed into her face and elsewhere, and without tearing her eyes away, asked Miriam, "Karyn's, uhm, not a gym rat in your reality, is she?"
"No, not really." Miriam evidently appreciated the view too, but was much more casual about it than Sarah was. "I mean, I was expecting to see her naked here, though, and I guess she wasn't gonna dress like that from your point of view. In my new reality she-" And then Miriam about hit the roof with her head when the doorbell rang.
Jon sighed. "I got it," he said wearily, answering the door. "Lily Vanderfield?" he asked once opened.
"LILY VANDERFIELD!?" Sarah and Miriam exclaimed simultaneously once they saw who it was. "What the heck is she doing here!?" Miriam asked hostilely.
"Am I not supposed to be here?" Lily seemed confused. She was dressed similarly to Karyn, in a rather revealing sports bra, yoga pants, and sneakers, and was looking back and forth from said vexed Karyn Black to the other girls present.
"None of us were expecting you," Karyn explained, a bit flushed at being so obviously checked out by an apparent new girlfriend for the 3rd time today.
"But you invited me over!" Lily protested. "Don't you remember what happened earlier today after class!?"
Jon sat on the wall after class, anxiously chewing on edge of the box and kicking his legs, and so on and so forth.
The best-friends-of longer-than-he-cared-to-mention assembled by the usual soon-to-be-slightly-bluer tree, proceeded to have their entire conception of reality shaken by Jon, and still quietly friendzoned him since he didn't want to complicate his relationship with their little polycule.
"Maybe we should make some wishes about our new Math teacher, Miss Sonia Esposito?" Lily suggested while holding the stone. "She can be such a bitch about turning in work, but god damn is she hot! I wish we had long hair and big boobs like she does." Poof!
"Holy shit," Miriam said. "All of reality was rewritten just like that!? That's-...!"
"So fucked up?" Jon interrupted. "Yes, yes it is."
"It's starting to get old, honestly," Karyn replied, putting the stone down on the coffee table and away from any touching hands. "I vote we don't touch that thing until we know for sure what's going on here!"
"What exactly do you mean by, 'what's going on here'?" Lily asked Karyn, curiously.
The doorbell rang.
"That, probably. Let's see if it's who I think it is..." Jon answered the door. "Yep, it's Sonia Esposito."
"MISS ESPOSITO!?" Lily exclaimed, and was ignored.
"Okay, please don't tell me you're here because I told you about the stone?" Jon asked in evident frustration. "I was tenuously okay with the explanations the last girls gave, but there's no way I'd tell my TEACHER of all people!"
Miss Esposito cocked her head. "I mean, don't you remember what happened, Jon?"
Jon sat on the wall after class, deepthroating the box and having violent leg spasms, blah, blah, blah, branch turns blue, blah, blah, blah, a wish for big boobs happened, poof!
"Holy shit," Lily said. "Reality-"
"THAT DIDN'T EXPLAIN ANYTHING!" Jon exclaimed in frustration, cutting off Lily. "I've heard almost exactly that same story like 5 times today and it hasn't really changed! Also how can that story have changed at all if we didn't even wish for anything!?"
"Maybe it was a butterfly effect from Lily's wish?" Zoe suggested. "Apparently you guys have been making a a lot of wishes today, so maybe one of those was affected?"
"Screw the butterfly effect, man," Jon complained. "Also, Zoe, what are you even doing home? Aren't you usually out with Athena right now?"
Jon sat on the wall-
"Holy shit," Jon interrupted, "Actually PLEASE don't answer that! Not with my SISTER of all things, yuck!"
The doorbell rang. Jon growled, and this time refrained from answering a moment. He grabbed the stone from where Karyn had left it, and only then did he check through the peephole at his visitors. Various fat, ugly bastards of the hentai variety were gathered outside, of a crowd probably to pair up with those inside.
"Yep, that does it," Jon said with a blank face, "I wish that those guys were gone and that this episode was heading in a different direction that that." Poof!
Jen sighed relievedly. "Okay. Now. Deep breaths." Jen heaved. "I wish I knew what the heck is going on here!" Poof!
For a moment, nothing seemed to happen. "Did it work?" Jen asked the audience.
The doorbell rang.
"Oh for the love of-!" Jen yanked the door open. "Who are you, now? I don't recognize you."
"Matisguy," the man said, reaching out a hand to shake. "I'm the author of this episode, and here to answer your question."
Jen raised an eyebrow, tentatively shook hands, and asked "Okay... so uh, why am I a girl now?"
"Decorum," the author shrugged. "I'd think you might be a little more worried about Sarah being a horse now, though, that's a bit more unusual."
"Well, maybe write a paragraph describing the horse?" Jen asked curiously. "I didn't even notice until just now."
"Nah, it's not actually what's important right now. What's important is that we actually have a comment on the last episode from its author saying that what we're supposed to be doing is establishing the antagonist here."
"The antagonist?" Jen asked. "Like, of this episode?"
"The MAIN antagonist!" Matisguy clarified enthusiastically. "Your life's main antagonist!"
"Life's main antagonist?" Jen repeated.
"EXACTLY!" Matisguy cheered. "NOW You've got it! Lifesmainantagonist is over there, on that bridge, right now! Go get him!"
Jen looked confused, but nevertheless she hurried. Lifesmainantagonist breathed fire, but Jen jumped over him and touched the axe. The bridge disappeared, Lifesmainantagonist dropped a couple of feet into the lava, and then he played a death animation coupled with the victory fanfare.
"You did it Jon!" Karyn ran up and kissed him full on the lips. "You saved us all! The Game is Over, and we all live happily ever after!"
Jen scooped up Karyn in a princess carry, then climbed up onto Sarah's saddled back to ride with her into the setting sun as the credits rolled and triumphant, cheerful music played.
FIN.
"Well, that was stupid," Jon muttered under his breath from where he sat on the wall.
"Jon?" Sarah asked. She and Karyn were giving him a concerned look. "You okay?"
"Yeah, just daydreaming," he excused himself. "Anyway, where were we?"
