"Well, you see," John said, frowning a little, "Let's put it this way. If I were an 'ordinary human', I'd do it in a heartbeat, but..." he paused, lighting another cigarette and sighing. "I've had to go through one transformation in my life, and I've grown to love the result. I like my wings--and to tell the truth I don't know if I could ever deal with not being able to fly again. I am what I am, just like you are what you are. Don't take it the wrong way, Erin; please don't...but I just don't think--now at any rate--that I could do that."
"You wouldn't try it, then?" Erin asked, a little dejected. "Not even for me?"
"We've known each other for four hours, Erin," John replied, sounding a little stressed. "I don't believe in love at first sight. I do have feelings for you, and I may even be falling for you, I'll admit that. But--and again, don't take this the wrong way--but I don't love you yet. My heart just doesn't move that fast."
Erin sat down on the couch across from where John was sitting. She clasped her hands in front of her, disappointed. She understood, though--it had been a crazy idea. What could she have been thinking?
John picked up on her reappearing self-doubts. "I understand your sentiments, don't mistake. I felt the same way when I started dating again after the incident. It took me a lot of mistakes to accept people as they are, so I don't want you to think you've offended me. But I would ask that you take me as I am if you're to take me at all." He got up and flew across the coffee table to land on the back of the couch, and sat down next to her. He put a hand on her leg, playing with the thick fur of her tarantula-like appendage. "If you ask me, our differences make us better compliment each other."
Erin still didn't say anything; she was too upset with herself for being so ungrateful for the unquestioning acceptance and kindness she'd been shown, for asking John to change who he was for her. And upset that she'd been wrong when she thought he might already be in love with her. Here came the breakup, she knew--there was no way he'd stay with her after a faux pas like that, despite what he'd said.
"I want this to work, Erin," John said, surprising her. "I want to get to know you better; to put it bluntly, I want to fall in love with you. I see the real Erin buried beneath these insecurities, and I want her to come back. Love doesn't come easy to me; believe it or not, I've been burned several times. So just give me a little while, and stop worrying about whether or not I'm going to bail out on you...because I'm not that guy. I'm not the kind to pack it in before I've given everything I can." He put an arm across the lower of her two backs, the cephalathorax of her arachnid aspect, stroking it affectionately.
"John...I...I don't know what to say. No one's ever been willing to even try with me since--" she indicated the spider that began below her hips--"THIS...and even when I could get a date with somebody, he'd bolt at the slightest provocation..." She sighed. "I want this to work too, John, and I never should have asked you to do something like that. I'm sorry." She fell silent, afraid she might be asking too much to pose yet another request, but thinking about what John had said, she decided to anyway. "Would you happen to know anyplace interesting we could go to? I think it might help bring the old me back if I got out a little more...in public I mean."
John raised his eyebrows. "As a matter of fact..."
