Wanting to complete the conditions of the second part of the wish as fast as possible, Jon rushed out of the room, Karyn still ejaculating all over it, and quietly whispered "All right, Rumpelstiltskin, where are you!"
"Right here," a little man looking like an Adam Sandler mini-me said.
"What the fuck? Adam Sandler?"
"As you wished, it shall be so," Rumpelstiltskin said with a smile, and then handed Jon the stone.
Well whatever. Time to fix this.
"I wish..." Jon began and then quickly stopped, in so much pain that he didn't even cry out. He just stood there and crumpled. Because Rumpelstiltskin had just kicked him in the nuts.
"Thank youuuuuuu!" Rumplestiltskin said, taking the stone back from Jon's hand. "You wished I would return it to you. That doesn't mean I can't take it right back!"
"By the way, I wished that your friend in the other room would be limited to a mere 50 male genitals, all over her body, or rather, any past the first 50 will only exist for a few seconds, and I made her immune to the effects of testosterone. If 'her' is even an accurate term any more. Poor thing didn't even have balls to go with them, so I gave her some, now she can also know the joys of fatherhood. Also, you can look forward to something similar for yourself. You two will be a perfect match for each other, if you catch my drift. By that, I mean you're going to grow female genitals all over your body, also limited to 50, every time you take a piss. And your skyrocketing estrogen levels will only result in you growing a rockin' pair of tits. I know, my generosity and mercy astounds even me. Well, if you don't mind, I have funny little man business to attend to, so taa taa!"
"Wait!" Jon managed to cry out.
"What?" Rumpelstiltskin asked.
"You can't just, do this."
"I already did it."
"I mean, don't I get, a chance? Like, you let me have it back, if I can guess your name?"
"Hmpf. You already know my name. Everyone knows the legend. You just used it in a sentence not 1 minute ago, and I replied to you! Too easy, too easy!" Rumpelstiltskin said. "Oh I'll give you a chance. But you need to get with the times, Jonny boy. Welcome to the computer age. You know my name. But you have 3 days to guess.... my e-mail address."
"Your e-mail address?"
"Yes. You have 3 days to guess my e-mail address. No need to wait for a specific time. No need for me to be standing right in front of you. Just say it out loud at any time. No limit to the number of guesses either. Get it right, and I will return immediately and give you back the rock, this time for good, no taking it back, scouts' honor. If you can guess my e-mail address! Have fun with that."
Rumpelstiltskin disappeared, as Jon was starting to get to his feet. But he had another problem. He really had to go to the bathroom.
