Jon eagerly awaited the next day, whatever origin story would contrive to give him his powers. He got it at lunch time.
"Ew, tacos again? Remember last time?" said Karyn.
"Yeah. Those taco shells, that had clearly gone bad."
"Well I'm going to skip lunch today," Karyn said.
"You need to be bold in life Karyn," said Jon.
He took one bite and BLEAUGH! It was the same rancid shells as before.
So he marched up and complained. He demanded his money back. At first they refused to give him his money, until he told them how DARE they still be selling that rancid food! He was going to see to it that they had a lawsuit on their hands. They gave him his money back.
"Ugh, I'm not feeling so good. I think, even that one bite..." he said. "Oh god, I need to go to the bathroom.
He had the worst gas he had ever had in his life. Just raw pain. But there was nothing to poop out. No way to alleviate it. He tried and tried to poop or fart and nothing would come out, until at last...
They say no one was nearby when the fart grenade went off, immolating the entire boys' bathroom in fire. But they don't really know, since all that would have been left of them would have been a shadow burned into the wall.
Jon managed to survive without injury and without blemishing his clothes, but he still had horrible gas.
He walked to his first afternoon class.
Just as it was about to start, Jon needed to stand up.
"Oh god, I'm going to, I'm going to..."
A 20 foot long inferno, as bright as the sun, erupted behind Jon's backside. A hole was burned in the backside of his pants.
Everyone was reeling and mostly blinded.
"Oh god, it hurts! I'm going to do it again! AAHhh!!"
He blasted a 2 foot wide hole in the middle of the chalkboard, right through to the classroom next door. The flame that erupted was like nuclear fire, it was so intensely hot.
"Oh, it hurts so much, make it stooooo..."
He farted flame again, this time propelling him through the glass window and outside, where he flew through the air as a human rocket, propelling himself 2 miles away in a matter of seconds. He carefully twisted in midair and farted fire in the opposite direction and managed to land softly before smacking into the ground.
"Oh god, THIS is my power?" he cried. "This is the worst EVER, EVER, AAHHH!!" and once again he took flight with the power of his mighty bunghole and his flame of justice. "MAKE IT STOP!" he cried as he flew through the air.
