Sarah took lead once they got to the mall. This was her domain. She may not know much about wishing stones or magical transformations, but she sure as hell knew about shopping.
“Okay, I want everyone to listen up,” she said as the four of them arrived at the middle of a main walkway in a large clothing store. “This is for all three of you: today you’re going to find a new look. I don’t care where you find it, I don’t care how you find it, but we’re going to walk out of this store as new women. So close your eyes.”
Dutifully, Zoe, Karyn, and Dawn all did so.
“Now take a deep breath, inhale and exhale.”
They did this as well.
“Now open your eyes, look around you in all directions, and go where your heart takes you.”
After a moment, a teenager in a black duster cardigan swooped off towards a display rack of corsets. And just a few seconds later, a teenager in a green tee shirt rushed off to a wall display of graphic tees. But the ten year-old remained behind, fidgeting with the hem of her own green shirt as she twirled her body from side to side, looking from aisle to aisle.
Sarah knelt down on the linoleum flooring to look at Dawn at eye level. “Hey, are you having trouble making a decision?”
Dawn nodded her head. Sarah couldn’t see it, but inside it felt like Dawn’s body was vibrating, like it was being pulled in every direction. There was a voice in her head telling her that where she belonged was with Karyn, looking for graphic tees. It gave her images of wearing jeans and simple tee shirts since forever. She was comfortable in jeans and tee shirts.
But she’d just gotten these clothes from Mike, hadn’t she? This wasn’t what she usually wore. What had she been wearing yesterday? Dawn turned once again to look at Zoe. She was wearing clothes like Zoe, wasn’t she? But that wasn’t usual for her, either.
But aside from what the voices in her head were telling her, something in her heart was pulling in its own, unspoken direction.
“I told you that you’re going to walk out of here a new woman,” Sarah whispered as she pushed a lock of hair behind Dawn’s ear. “What that means is completely up to you. Your mom isn’t here to limit your options. Your friends aren’t here to judge you. It’s just you and me and your sister and Karyn, and we’re going to support you, whatever look you decide on.”
The vibrating in Dawn’s chest got stronger. But the voices in her head were so loud, telling her not to listen, telling her that if she expressed how she truly felt, that people would laugh at her. That people should laugh at her. It was embarrassing to show people your true self. Dawn looked straight down at her fingers, still gripping the bottom of her shirt.
“You know what’s great about a store this big?” Sarah interrupted Dawn’s thoughts. “There are so many outfits to choose from, and there are so many people, that nobody’s looking at you. You can try on anything, you can try on everything, and you don’t have to buy it unless you love it. And everyone around you is doing the same thing. They know that trying something on isn’t committing to buying it, because they’re all trying stuff on, too. What happens inside of this store? Nobody else ever has to know about it. You can do whatever you want.”
Sarah put a finger under Dawn’s chin, lifting it up gently so the two were looking in one another’s eyes. “Dawn, do you think I’m pretty?”
On this, her heart and her head agreed. Dawn nodded yes.
“Do you want to know how I got to be so pretty?”
Another silent nod.
“I just figured out what makes me who I am, and I embraced it one-hundred-percent. Whoever you are, deep down inside, if you bring that out then you’ll be pretty, too. Do you want that?”
“Yes,” Dawn whispered. “I want to be pretty like you.”
Sarah’s heart melted just a little. “Then close your eyes again, and take a breath, and when you open your eyes I want you to go directly to where your heart is telling you to go.”
