"I know!" Todd said bit too loudly. "What the hell are future generations going to do? Finding a mate is getting to be complex! I mean even if you avoided the obvious mods, there are plenty you can't see. You would have to ask anyone you meet how you match up! You'd basically have to each fill out a questionnaire about what your naughty bits are internally, externally, mechanically, do you have matched species etcetera etcetera."
Mike piped up "Ooh! There's that woman, Tina down in finance where my wife works. My wife said she's got a vagina on her face! I heard she has to eat semen now because she is genetically ADDICTED to it!! She actually basically EATS semen through her face vagina!"
Rachel was visibly grossed out, "Nasty! Everyone has to look at her vagina on her face all day?"
"Well" Mike said, "My wife said she keeps it covered with a surgical mask, but you can still tell. Plus she has pubic hairs all over her face that are usually sticking out from it."
We all "Ewwwed" in unison.
We were silent for a bit, but then Doug decided to keep the freak train rolling, "Speaking of vaginas. my cousin down in Kissimmee Florida says his wife has four vaginas now. A lot of women in his town do."
"Huh? FOUR? Lucky fucker! How do they all fit... down there?" Todd said while pointing towards his crotch area.
"Well, there are only two regular vaginas side by side down where vaginas normally are. Both of them have clitorises, and both have urethras. When she pees it comes out of both of them at once.
"Uhh that's a rather odd side note", I chuckled "So where are the others?" I inquired out of morbid curiosity.
"The third vagina is a bit different, it is in her ass. Apparently her anus is gone, and her ass cheeks have been replaced by a very large, very elongated vulva. Her inner labia lips run the whole length of her mutant vulva former ass crack. Her third clitoris is at the top, near her tailbone, and her vaginal opening is where her anus would have been."
"Uh, not to be gross, but how does she poop now?" I inquired out of even more morbid curiosity.
"During her transformation they noticed her navel was puckered oddly. Very shortly after that it became, um, evident it was her new anus."
"Oh gross. That means she has to lay stomach on the toilet to poop!" Rachel said in disgust.
"Ok...So where is the FOURTH one?" Todd asked as though this were a joke with a punch line.
"This is where it gets really weird, it's on her chest between her breasts. Her fourth clitoris is right at the top of her cleavage."
We were all thinking about it, but Todd asked it, "How does that Work? What about her heart and lungs?"
"Doctors said her heart and lungs have shrunk considerably, but became far more efficient to compensate. Also her stomach got the same treatment and moved further down. Her digestive tract is significantly shortened as well but still works normally. They are amazed at the complexity of the engineering that was involved with this mod. They said most of this poor woman's insides are taken up by her four vaginas, four uteruses, eight fallopian tubes and eight ovaries. Also they had to alter her hormonal and nervous systems to allow each vagina to operate not only independently sexually, but allow each be on its own menstrual cycle as well."
"Ugh," I said after quickly doing the math, "That means at least one of her vaginas is always on a period."
"Yeah, but she's always got three to spare!" Doug chimed in.
"Did your cousin say if there's been in change in their um, love life?"
"Oh, she's always had a healthy libido, but now, it's sort of quadrupled, she has four vaginas after all. And even though one is always on a period, at least one other one is always ovulating, so she is almost constantly horny."
"Do they know if she is still fertile? Did they say if any of these new vaginas could possibly get pregnant?"
"All four are fully functional; they have the complimenting internal parts after all. And like I said each one of her four lady parts is independent. So even if she were pregnant in one, she could still get be pregnant in one of the other three. She could be pregnant in up to all four uteruses at the same time, which each baby having a different conception date and delivery date."
Mike asked, "Does your cousin have any kids? Do they plan on having any in the future?"
I thought to myself it was sweet Mike was thinking about that rather than all those vaginas. I know him and his wife Trinity had been trying for a baby for a while.
"They don't have any kids yet, but they plan to. He said he already has a spot picked out."
"What do you mean by that?" I asked.
"Well, my cousin told me he has a favorite. It's her ass vagina. Remember her ass cheeks are now a big vulva, so he told me when he sees her behind or when she bends over he gets a view of one big giant pussy. That's the one he plans to get her pregnant in. She's glad because that one's the biggest and should be the easiest to deliver from too."
Well, she's got that at least, though it would suck not being able to wear any low cut tops or swimwear. You can't be putting your boobs AND a vajayjay on display!"
Everyone laughed.
Mike brought up the next one. "My old roommate from college who lives in Arizona phoned me a while back, his wife is now some sort of ape woman. She's completely covered in thick fur, she has no breasts and her face is apelike too."
"Hey they ripped off that land of the apes silly movie!" Todd joked.
"I thought the same thing! You know, I thought the one ape chick in the remake version was kind of cute" Mike said.
"You would!" Todd said while almost spilling his beer from laughter.
Mike continued his story. "My buddy is still normal but quite a number of people were ape-ified in the downtown industrial park where his wife works. She is surrounded by ape women and ape men all day, but then goes home to a human husband and kids. He feels she is becoming more distant to him and the kids and identifying more with her other ape coworkers. The REALLY hard part is when she goes into estrus."
"Estrus?!?" Rachel asked confusedly.
"She doesn't have menstrual 'periods' anymore, apes go into heat, like an animal. She REALLY REALLY craves ape men during those times. He still has sex with her but he gets the impression it isn't fulfilling her carnal instincts. My buddy's worried she's started getting fucked by her male ape coworkers."
We were all quiet as we thought about that one.
Rachel brought up the next one. "I heard a bunch of college kids at Arizona state got P rashes, but had no visible effects. And doctor's X-Ray exams and blood work came back normal. The kids all assumed they had been Ranked.
"Ranked?" Mike asked, being the confused one for a change.
"It's slang for a Rash prank. Apparently it's quite common in colleges now, and there are viral videos all over the internet. They especially happen a lot at fraternity hazings. These dumb college kids smear poison ivy oil on other kid's necks when they are passed out drunk at parties and then laugh as they freak out for the next two weeks or so."
"Dumbasses" Mike said. "This shit's not funny or something to joke about."
We all nodded to that.
"Well anyhow all the kids with rashes were at the same frat party so...naturally after a few weeks when they didn't change they thought it was a rank. They went about their typical college kid lives, but then a couple months later all the girls started getting pregnant, even though they were practicing safe sex. It turns out, get this, they were getting pregnant from KISSING their boyfriends!"
"From Kissing? How?" I asked suddenly intrigued.
"Well, After a DEEPER investigation by doctors that involved fertility tests, It turns while out their regular equipment is still there and functional, but is totally infertile. The boys shoot blanks and the girl's ovaries have no eggs. They can't get pregnant or cause pregnancy through conventional sex, even if they have sex with unaffected people. It obviously got overlooked because a bunch of dumbass partying college kids weren't going to think to ask for fertility tests! At that age they only care about NOT getting pregnant."
"Wait, if they're infertile, how are all the girls getting pregnant?" I asked with a cocked eyebrow.
"Well, I said their NORMAL sex organs are infertile. However, the males now have saliva glands that produce sperm and the females have glands in their throat that produce eggs with hard shells that can survive stomach acid. Anyway if they kiss the egg gets fertilized and eventually gets swallowed. It passes through the female's stomach and into her digestive tract. The females now in the lining pouch just below the stomach have a mix between intestine and uterine linings. Any egg landing there is chemically bound to it, but food is not. Once it latches onto that special lining it passes through a mutant sort of third fallopian tube into the uterus. The female then goes through a normal pregnancy and vaginal birth."
"I thought they got x-rayed?" Todd said.
"Yes but their new fallopian tube blended in with their intestines. It wasn't until they had more extensive CT scans that it was discovered."
"Ugh! The boys always have cum in their mouth?" Doug piped up, revealing his own sick thoughts.
"Kind of, the sperm cells mix with normal saliva. But I guess technically yes they sort of do!" Rachel said with a smirk.
I started pondering aloud, "Reproduction through kissing huh? Since their regular equipment is kaputt, I guess they can ONLY get pregnant from each other. Having either sex or kissing with other people won't do anything. I suspect as college kids they will relish dating normals not having to worry about pregnancy. But later on when they get older and want to start a family, they'll be calling up old flings from college for a reunion kiss!"
Finally Todd got kind of somber and brought up his own story, "My wife's old high school friend in Texas got zapped, but I'm not supposed to talk about it."
"You can trust us" I said.
