Phew. How lucky was HE to have watched that video?
"Spirit Safety Precautions" seemed like a snooze-fest when Jon sat down at the beginning of his session, but after a minute in, he was riveted!
He had always known that professional basketball, football, and hockey players had the possibility of bone-crushing career-ending injuries, but who knew there were so many hazards being a professional cheerleader, too?
It was scary to think about, but it was possible that he could be even at more risk than the players on the field! Even though he knew that he was going to find a way out soon, he'd have to take care of himself in the meantime or he could end up going to the hospital! Jon was just thankful that most of the cheerleading injuries were easy to prevent.
But even so, there were so many! Wearing tight, stretchy clothing only where necessary would make certain that he'd have full-range of motion in any direction and wouldn't get limb whiplash. Carrying one pom-pon in each of his hands while dancing would ensure his perfect balance and no treacherous slip-and-falls. Spending time tanning kept away third-degree sunburns from cheering outside all day. High-heeled boots helped keep his core and leg muscles taut and strong to deter overwork collapses. Shaving his legs made sure he couldn't bring lice into the shared locker room. Earrings and makeup made it so that his face could be seen from far away - and could warn others about trouble in the stadium. Long hair shielded his eyes from the sun, and possible future blindness. Wearing an upper body support top everyday prevented straining his pectoral glands and breast tissue.
He had originally thought that all the accoutrement was just to pretty the cheerleaders up before they went on display, but the reasons why each piece of the cheerleader's overall look mattered were now very real. Brittney-Lynne helped him touch up his eyeshadow and lipstick while he fastened the bra behind his back. What was he thinking being so reckless?
__*
" that is of course unless both of you wanted to go on a date?"
Melissa and Amber walked out of the Career Center disgusted. That Ted guy was such a creep! And a nerd loser, too. Sure, now they understood that people like Sarah and Ted made it possible for them to shop Victoria's Secret in their underwear, or catch up on the latest TMZ, but they were both just so groaty!
No website was good enough to put up with* that_ all day.
And then after, when Ted asked them if they wanted to be programmers too? He looked so shocked that they said no! Then when he brought another old guy in a white coat in to ask them a million questions about why? They were both buggin' out! C'mon, the answer was a no-brainer.
Finally, they were able to escape - but not before white coat guy gave them each a manilla packet. He said it contained a "life changing experience" based on their personalities if they opened it. Double, triple, quadruple creepfest! It made both of them want to projectile vom. But, as the girls headed to their 2nd hour yearbook class, each silently wondered what might be inside theirs .
