Gwen flopped hirself onto the couch and flipped on the TV. There wasn’t much that shi could do until Sarrah got up because shi needed to get dressed and Sarrah had all of hir clothes, so Gwen resorted to channel surfing. Shi picked up the controller and turned on the TV. The set resumed on the channel that it was last on, which, unsurprisingly, was ESPN.
How many times had Gwen seen Biff tune into a show like this? It seemed that Sarrah was equally engrossed in the world of sports, which—shi supposed—made sense. It looked familiar to Gwen. There was a curved table in the middle of the set and a panel of experts all making their opinions on something. The only difference was that the panel was all women. There was one youngish looking woman wearing a smart black suit with closely cropped black hair. Shi seemed to be fielding all the questions to hir guests. Hir guests were, of course, women. The closest one to the host was the oldest of the group with greying hair and a little overweight. Shi wore a grey suit with the jacket open revealing a white dress shirt and was joined by two other women; both looked younger, probably had just retired from whatever sport they played, and sported trim suits of their own.
Gwen watched as the middle guest finished whatever shi was talking about and then the camera panned back to the host who had another card in hir hand ready to ask another question. A banner popped up on the screen, and Gwen could see that they were talking about basketball. There was a face next to the question; sure enough, the athlete was a woman. Gwen was a little surprised. Usually, whenever shi watched these types of shows with Biff there was always at least one woman on the show. Sometimes it was a guest, but often it was the host. In this world, there wasn’t even one boi on the show. Did bois just not have any interest in sports?
The panel droned on, leading Gwen to flip up and down. She stopped after a few button presses. The graphics looked somewhat familiar, but the name of the channel—Vixen News—was inescapably different. It was another panel discussion show, but this time, there was something shi didn’t see on ESPN: a boi. Hei was seated off to the side, separately from the two women sitting in the middle. The two women had dull, boring suits and closely cropped hair like the sports presenters, but the boi couldn’t have looked any more out of place if hei had tried.
Hys silky smooth blonde hair shone brilliantly against the studio lights as it cascaded in waves down past hys shoulders. Hys pink dress, whilst it might be considered professional for a boi in this world, was completely over-the-top and very revealing. Hys makeup was bright with the pink lipstick drawing attention to what Gwen assumed that most women would describe as kissable lips. Gwen couldn’t stop staring.
At least until they started showing file footage of what looked like a politician. “The president concludes hir trip to Japan today with a meeting with Asian defense secretaries.” The report went on for a minute, Gwen trying to glean anything interesting without success, until the boi appeared on camera.
“Politics,” hei said to the camera with a sigh and an evident roll of hys eyes. “Am I right, bois? Let’s move on to something more lively. In other news, supermodel Jakessa Paulan made headlines today after announcing hys engagement to famous rock singer Tyler Swift.” The camera shifted to a picture of a boi in a long pink dress with flowing blonde hair standing next to a woman in a tuxedo. The picture looked like it had been taken from an awards ceremony.
Gwen didn’t have any words. This was the news in this world? A serious report on politics segueing right into a fluff piece about some celebrity boi and what dress hei was wearing?
“Are you watching the news?” a voice asked from behind hir. Gwen shifted in hir seat and looked up. Sarrah was standing behind hir wearing a football jersey, holding a plate stacked high with pancakes dripping in maple syrup in one hand and a glass of orange juice in the other hand.
“Uh…” Gwen gulped, feeling a little uncomfortable. “Not really, just flicking through channels.”
“Great,” Sarrah replied casually. “Then you can move. I want to watch Gameday. My bedroom’s free by the way if you want to grab some clothes.”
“Um, right.” Gwen quickly got up and left the room as Sarrah put hir plate down and flicked to hir sports program before flopping down on the couch.
“Hey Baylie dear?” Msr. Woodwoman’s deep but soothing voice roused Baylie from hys sleep. “It’s time for you to wake up.”
Baylie absentmindedly rolled over and looked up. Hys gender swapped father was standing by the bed leaning over hym, hys blonde locks hanging just inches away from Baylie’s face. “Huh…? I thought it was Sunday?” Hei rubbed his eyes. Hei had been hoping to have a quiet day after last night.
“Well… Yes, but Biffanie and I think you need some outfits of your own. You know how bois get when they wind up wearing the same thing… You don’t want to get into a pussyfight now, do you?” Baylie stared, not quite understanding what hei had to say. “Don’t your…girls fight when they show up in the same outfit?”
“...Not really, I guess? I wouldn’t know…” hei sighed, pausing as hei thought about it. Hei did recall once that Sarah had gotten into a bit of a fight because some girl had worn the same outfit as her. Although it wasn't really much of a fight, just a bunch of weak slapping at each other until the teacher broke it up. Was that the sort of thing that went on here?
“Here, they do… So you wearing Biffanie’s outfits isn’t the solution. You need some dresses of your own, and we’re going to teach you how to shop for pretty clothes.”
Biffanie—who had woken up several hours earlier—soon entered the room, looking at hys new roommate with a big grin. “Oh come on Baylie… What boi doesn’t like to go clothes shopping?”
Later that morning, Gwen found hirself trying to catch up with the NFL in this gender reversed world as Sarrah watched the early game—the local Chicago Bears. At least the bears are still the same Gwen thought when shi saw the team name. Shi looked over at Sarrah. Shi was quite into the game, standing in the living room and pacing back and forth. Gwen wanted to ask questions, but shi also could tell this was not going to be that moment. Having spent many afternoons with Biff, shi knew how engrossed he could get. At least football looked the same, Gwen thought, turning hir head back to the TV.
“...And Briscoe is back to throw, looks right, throws over the middle, and it is intercepted! Kendall Jenner returns the ball out to midfield, and the fourth-year safety from USC has hir second pick of the year.”
“What!?” Gwen exclaimed, recognising the name.
“That pass was terrible, wasn’t it?” Sarrah commented.
“...Yeah, I guess, but… Kendall Jenner!?”
“Shi’s one of the stars of the Chargers defense. Led them to a Super Bowl last year.”
Gwen burst out laughing. “In my world she’s a model. She sells dresses and stuff.”
That prompted Sarrah to let out a big belly laugh. “What’s next, pop sensation Trixie Mahomes at quarterback? The Paulan brotherelles as boxers? Goddess, your world is strange.”
Gwen wasn’t sure what exactly to say, but Sarrah was more dead-on than shi knew. She tried to talk to hir sister, but shi was just too absorbed in football. There were plenty of questions, but they were just going to have to wait.
Around halftime, Chardeena came flitting into the living room, offering snacks and drinks. Hei knew what hei was doing and had timed hys interruption perfectly so as to not disturb the flow of the game. Chardeena knew how Sarrah could get when a game was on, especially when it was hir favorite team.
Gwen couldn’t help but stare at hir gender-swapped father as hei flitted about the room placing bowls and drinks on the table. Hys golden blonde curls bounced around hys shoulders; the hot pink-mermaid style dress restricted hys movement so that hei had to mince around the living room, hys train dragging along the floor behind hym. The dress looked more like a prom dress than something to do housework in, but that was just Gwen’s opinion; shi had no idea how fashion worked here. Everything that boi wore just seemed over the top for any occasion.
“Thanks Dad,” Sarrah grunted—hir eyes barely gazing away from the screen—as Chardeena finished placing a plate of pizza rolls on the table. Hei gave a quick look around to make sure that everyone was satisfied and then left the room.
After another delicious dinner prepared by Chardeena, Gwen was caught off guard when Chardeena asked hir something.
“Would you like to watch a movie, dear?”
“What kind of movie?”
“Well… We were talking earlier, and it made me think. You don’t really know much about school here, do you?” Gwen shook hir head. “From what I can tell, school in our world is very different from school in your world. I mean, you said that bois go to the same school as gurls, which just sounds silly to me. Here, it’s very different for gurls and bois, and it might help you to watch a movie so that you don’t come across as…weird. Especially since you’ll be starting to go to school this week.”
“Alright,” Gwen replied after taking in what Chardeena had said. “What movie did you have in mind?”
“Mean Bois.”
There was an audible groan from Sarrah. “Great,” shi muttered. “A boi flick.”
“It’s set in a bois’ high school,” Chardeena explained.
Gwen nodded. “So it’s kind of like Mean Girls? We have that movie back at home.” Gwen neglected to tell them that shi had watched it several times. Shi didn’t think that Sarrah would approve. This was also the second or third time shi’d heard mention of a school for bois.
“Oh, good,” Chardeena replied, sounding a little surprised but also relieved. Hei looked at Sarrah. “I think that it would be a good idea if you joined us as well honey.” Sarrah groaned again.
“But daaaaad!” shi whined. “I was going to watch Sunday Night Football.”
“Please, honey, I think it would be a good bonding experience for the both of you.”
Sarrah looked at hir father and then across to hir mother, who nodded, before shi relented with a heavy sigh. “Fine.”
Chardeena smiled. “Thank you, honey. Now why don’t you go and get it set up while I finish tidying up here and then I’ll bring in the popcorn.”
A couple of minutes later, Chardeena minced into the living room with a large bowl of popcorn and set it down on the coffee table, the menu of Mean Bois looping on the screen. Gwen could already tell that this was going to be a very different movie from the one that shi had watched. For one thing, Lindsay Lohan wasn’t in the movie; instead, it was Robert Pattinson. Gwen couldn’t help but give a little chuckle. In hir world he was a teenage heartthrob, starring in movies like Twilight and Harry Potter but in this world, hei was a sex symbol, making gurls all over the world horny—even Gwen had to admit that hei did look pretty good for a boi.
Shi glanced over at Sarrah, who was lying down on one of the sofas and looked a little uncomfortable. Perhaps it was because shi was embarrassed to have to watch such a boily movie—or maybe, Gwen noted, maybe shi was trying to hide something. Shi looked back at the screen and then at Sarrah. Was shi horny?
When everyone was settled, Sarrah, who had the remote, hit play and the movie began. It started off pretty much the same: Pattinson’s character, like Lindsay’s, had just returned to the US after living in Africa and being homeschooled. It then showed hym enrolling in North Shore Bois’ School. Gwen’s eyes widened. This was school for bois? It looked ghastly. All the corridors were decorated in pink, even the lockers.
“Don’t worry Gwen,” Sarrah commented, misinterpreting the look on Gwen’s face. “Our school doesn’t look like that.”
Gwen nodded as shi returned hir attention to the movie. Pattison’s character, Cadeena, was being introduced to someone.
“Hi, I’m Janessa,” the boi introduced hymself. Unlike many of the bois shi had seen, Janessa wasn’t wearing a lot of pink. Neither was Cadeena actually, which surprised Gwen, because on the cover of the film hei was. “I’m going to be your buddie.”
“Buddie?” Gwen asked, frowning at the concept. Chardeena nodded.
Chardeena nodded, “Yes… In bois’ school, bois are encouraged to share everything, even their lockers,” hei explained. “Gurls are expected to work things out on their own but with bois it’s a little harder. The buddie system works with the idea that if something is too hard for a boi to work out on hys own, then hopefully the two of them together can work it out.”
Gwen stared at Chardeena, lost for words before returning hir attention back to the movie. The scene had shifted to lunch:. Cadeena was walking through the hall with Janessa, a salad on hys tray, when someone got hys attention. To Janessa’s disgust, Cadeena was invited to sit with what Janessa called “the plastics”. These bois were very much like the characters that Gwen knew from hir version of the movie, but of course, they were all bois. Instead of Regina George, Karen Smith and Gretchen Wieners, you had Regina, Karina and Grace. Gwen found it interesting that Regina’s name was not different in this world; shi guessed that some names were simply swapped over instead of being replaced. The three bois were all decked out in pink and wore long blonde hair, even Gretchen, the blonde hair contrasting nicely against hys dark skin.
It was at this point Sarrah made a noise and started to stand up. “Ugh… Sorry, Dad, but there’s only so much boily stuff that I can handle. I’m going to head up to my room and see if I can catch the rest of the game.”
Chardeena looked a little disappointed but nodded. Hei knew what Sarrah was like, and hei was at least pleased that shi had made it this far into the movie.
“Sorry, Gwen, but you're on your own from here,” hei explained. Gwen watched the movie with hir gender-swapped parents the rest of the way, Gwen peppering Chardeena with questions and Suzan reassuring hir that hir school experience would be nothing like that.
As Gwen went to bed, hir mind was swimming with thoughts. Baylie had absolutely no idea what was about to hit hym at school. It at least seemed like school for gurls was something approaching normal, but that? It was going to be a very, very painful adjustment. In fact, she realized, it would have been painful even for a girl to be dropped into a boi’s world. They were just completely different animals from anything shi knew, and shi’d been the cheer captain! No wonder Sarrah walked out.
