It had been nearly a week, and Jon was finally getting the hang of her new body. That was a disconcerting thought, on the face of it, but it had a lot more to do with being able to move and balance reasonably well than with any acceptance of her form or situation. At the moment, she was doing some practice walks around an "obstacle course" Dr. LaRue had set up; it was basically an acre or so of repurposed pasture, with assorted small rocks and other objects thrown in among the grass. The point, as the doctor had explained it, was that handling obstacles large enough to be seen was easy; the real challenge was in spatial awareness outside your field of view. The area was designed to give her practice with tracking small objects and feeling out things with her feet as she walked.
And indeed, the first few times Jon had been out here, it had been difficult. Everything in her new body was responding like a human body would, but not like her human body, the one she'd grown up in. Everything was approximately right, but just different enough to throw her off; it felt like wearing clothes that didn't quite fit, or like the off-brand equivalent of a favorite food. She was finally learning to respond to her new body's feedback, but it had taken a lot of practice, and a lot of falls. Fortunately for her, while she did still feel pain, her new body didn't bruise, or she'd have been a mass of black and blue.
Finishing her aimless ramble around the course, she walked back towards the farmhouse. Dr. LaRue was seated on one of the larger rocks by the edge of the course, observing her progress. "Good," she said. "Good. You're getting better at recovering from a stumble, and that's half the battle right there. Seems like you're getting used to this."
Jon stopped and sat down next to her. She wasn't especially good at reading people, but there was pretty obviously some tinge of regret in the doctor's voice. "Is...is something wrong?" she asked.
The doctor shook her head. "N-no. It's nothing." She smiled, but it was a forced smile. Jon sighed. "You're disappointed that you didn't get to see things through, aren't you?"
The smile disappeared. Dr. LaRue sighed, sadly. "I'd be lying if I said 'no.' But please don't think that I regret saving your life, because I don't. I just...I worked a long time for this, and it's frustrating that I got this close to doing it all myself before my plan got interrupted. That's life, I guess."
Jon nodded. "It's okay, I understand. This was really important to you, wasn't it?"
The doctor nodded. "It's difficult to explain, but...I've always wanted there to be...more to the world than the ordinary existence most people know. It's...the world is a beautiful place, but nobody ever sees it, can't see the forest for the trees. The universe is a mechanism of supreme elegance, but you have to be a physicist to appreciate it. Mathematics is pure and beautiful, but only if you really know your math. The brain is a fascinating thing, present in every one of us, but only a few people ever stop to appreciate it. All the ordinary people of the world, they come up with myths and legends to make the world seem more interesting, because they can't see that it really is. I guess I just wanted to create something that...something that fits into their notions of what the 'paranormal' would be, but that can help lead them into appreciating how wonderful the world really is. I don't know, it never makes any sense when I try to explain it. I'm not good with words. I just wanted to make the world less 'ordinary,' because that's just a nice word for 'dull.'"
"Huh." Jon sort of thought she understood what the older woman was saying, but couldn't quite wrap her head around it.
"Yeah. Like I said, I can never quite get my meaning across."
Jon looked down at herself; there was the body she'd been trying to learn how to manage, covered with only a plain white bathrobe. Underneath the robe, there were the parts that made her a her, the single biggest stumbling block in her acceptance of this body. She sighed. "Are you disappointed that I don't plan on having children?"
Dr. LaRue chuckled slightly. "Good question. Again, I'd be lying if I said no. I did want to see a whole race sprung from my efforts, and...well, it'd be the closest to being a grandmother I'd ever get, with the way I relate to men. And honestly, I'd love to see it, if you ever should change your mind. But...well, I have to put aside my goals, because it's not about what I want, it's about what you want. I won't say it's not difficult, though. God, this must be what being a parent feels like."
Jon smiled, in spite of herself. "Whatever else I feel about any of this," she said, "I just want to say thank you, doctor. I know you gave up a lot to save my life, and I appreciate that, even if the details aren't ideal."
The doctor smiled. "Call me Anne. And you're welcome."
