Dinner was surprisingly uneventful, not that that stopped Jon's adrenaline from spiking. The whole time he was waiting for a new change to happen to his mother -- or his father -- or for Sarah to make some kind of move or for some kind of flareup between Sarah and Zoe.
But, despite being initially skeptical, Zoe accepted Sarah's presence after the older girl gave her what sounded like a surprisingly genuine complement on her makeup. And Sarah continued to behave herself throughout the meal. And while Roger spent the evening flitting about like a housewife and doting on everyone, he at least didn't look any different.
But still, Jon was aware that at any moment, any of these fears could be realized, and so his senses never left high-alert. And when finally something happened that he did need to pay attention to, all of his senses were fried.
"Hey, let's all the guys go out front and shoot some hoops, and the girls can go upstairs and give each other makeovers, or whatever you do." Jon was pretty sure that was Linda's voice.
"Hey, that's a stereotype! But, okay, that's probably what we'll be doing." Zoe's voice.
"Come on, what are you sitting around for?" That one was Biff, accompanied by an arm pull. Jon noted with some acrimony that he and Biff, as "the guys," were being joined by his mother, while Zoe and Sarah, "the girls" were being joined by his father.
To everyone else in the room, his mom was clearly a guy, and his dad was clearly a girl. And as much as the rational part of Jon wanted to argue that point, the drive to do so had been worn out over the course of the evening.
So he followed the two 6'3" behemoths out to the driveway, where a game of HORSE was declared. Linda took the first shot, a jump shot from fifteen feet out, and missed. Biff took another jump shot a few feet closer, and this one went in.
But Jon wasn't paying attention to Biff's shot. He was paying attention to his mother's calves, which trembled and shuddered and expanded into lumps of muscle to match Biff's, right in the exact moment when Biff's own feet left the ground.
Obviously, this went unnoticed by anyone other than Jon. But, as the rules of HORSE dictate, since Biff made his shot, Jon had to try the same shot from the same spot. And, lacking the calf muscles that Biff and Jon's mother now shared, his own jump shot clanged off the rim.
"Tough break there, buddy," his mom said in Biff's borrowed tones. "Looks like you've got an H."
Linda made her next shot, and Biff copied it exactly, but Jon's attempt once again bounced harmlessly away from its target.
"That's H-O," Biff said, thankfully declining to make the joke that is on everyone's mind as soon as someone gets their second letter in HORSE.
And that's how the game continued. Linda didn't make her every shot, and neither did Biff. But if one made it, then the other definitely did, while Jon missed every shot he took, and soon found himself out of the game.
With a very heavy weight on his heart and on his mind, Jon retreated back indoors, despite overtures from his mother and his classmate to stay. He assured them both that he was just tired, which was not at all a lie, and that he didn't mind if they finished their game, however long it took.
Jon did, however, find himself wishing that his bedroom did not overlook the driveway.
