“I wish Karyn and I would be saiyans.”
“Saiyans? From dragon boh holy shit…” Jon said as he only now noticed he had a tail. Before he lost the two hours he had been wearing regular long pants but was now also wearing baggy pants, but that minor detail didn’t seem important originally, but now it did, if he wanted to hide a bigass tail. He pulled down his pants and played around with it, grabbing things with it. Well maybe this was a good thing after all. He just had to make sure not to look at the full moon. He grabbed hold of his tail, intending to admire it, but trembled and fell to the ground in pain instead.
“Ow. Right. I should have remembered about that. It’s very sensitive. Oh, wait. I’m really a real saiyan. I should be able to fly.” Jon strained until his face turned red. He jumped up and down. “Hmm. Then again, in that universe, it wasn’t about their species, and humans could learn to fly too. But I should at least be very strong.” He picked up his school backpack, which he knew was about 15 pounds since he had weighed it with it fully loaded with his current schoolbooks. He held it out straight forward in one hand. About 15 seconds later, he could hold it there no longer, and was forced to lower it to the ground. “This sucks. Sure, I didn’t wish to be a super saiyan, but shouldn’t I at least be a little stronger?” But Jon knew the difference in lifestyle between himself and the characters of that show. They were constantly training. And not just that but pushing their bodies to their limits and recovering from life threatening situations, which apparently did wonders for saiyans for whom unlike humans it was actually true that whatever doesn’t kill them only makes them stronger. However, it left open the question, if a saiyan was a lazy ass who never even did the least bit of serious exercise and never had any serious injuries or deadly situations, not to mention growing up in one Earth gravity, would they actually be any more extraordinary than a regular human couch potato?
“Well at least the tail ain’t so bad,” he said to himself. Fully clothed again with the baggy pants to hide his new asset, he stepped outside with the intention of checking on Karyn. And he could surely increase his strength and speed to great levels if he did actually try from here on out, right? Well by golly, he would start by running to Karyn’s house as fast as he could, even if that only meant a pace of 8 miles an hour. This would just be a fun thing to share with Karyn. Of course since she was far away when he made the wish, she would think she had always been a saiyan so he wouldn’t be able to share in the novelty with her, in fact it may even surprise her to learn that she had been human until today, but then again presumably even in the alternate history where they always had been saiyans, he would have shown her the rock and what it could do, so it should be easy for her to accept that history had simply been changed along with her memories.
That was Jon’s intention at least. But it all came to a halt when after a terrifying sonic boom that nearly knocked him off his feet, floating two feet off the ground was Karyn with a look of sinister glee on her face. But most of all what was obvious was that she had short not merely blonde but faintly glowing hair which was standing up a bit as if energized by a van de graff generator, and also faintly glowing piercing blue eyes. She was clearly a super saiyan. She settled to the ground.
“Well well, if it isn’t the great Jon, weakest of all saiyans. I sensed you approaching in my direction, what brings a weakling like you to my territory? Looking for an old fashioned ass whooping?”
It suddenly dawned on Jon, that by nature, saiyans are in fact generally savage brutes, and it stood to reason that maybe saiyan Jon and Karyn weren’t friends. He also noted that her breasts were small and her hair, though super saiyan blonde, was in fact short. The implication was that history had been changed in such a way that she had not made that wish earlier that day. Of course not, if they weren’t friends, he never would have shown her the wish granting rock to begin with. Well that was one way to undo wishes it seemed, to indirectly do it by changing history with an unrelated wish so the wish was never made.
“Actually, I was hoping, we could be friends?” he asked hopefully.
For a moment a surprised look appeared on Karyn’s face. “Friends?! You want to be friends now? After you rejected me, the only other saiyan? After you rejected me in front of the whole school, are you here actually asking if we can be friends?!” Electric arcs began appearing in midair and encircling her, and some of the concrete pavement beneath them cracked, a few small pieces of which floated up off the ground. Jon gritted his teeth as he realized she was at super saiyan level 2.
What kind of a hard life had this version of Karyn been living? And could Jon patch things up with her? Find out, on the next episode of You Are What You Wish Z.
