The newly named Gwen McMillan sat at the red light, looking at everything around her. She was on her way to the barbers after Dr. McMillan and Sarrah had both suggested that she should get her hair cut so that it was more suitable for a girl. Sarrah would have come with her, but she had to get ready for tonight’s game; although Dr. McMillan had offered to come with her, but Gwen had politely declined. Gwen wanted to see this world for herself and so far this was the best opportunity.
She glanced at the GPS in Dr. McMillan’s car to check that she was still heading in the right direction. She had never thought that she would need a map to navigate through her hometown, but while the roads were mainly the same, many of the street names were different. All the roads that had been named after famous men and local settlers in her world were now replaced by famous women in this world. Gwen sighed as the light turned green.
Gwen pulled into the parking lot of the barbershop, a small establishment inside a fairly nondescript strip mall. She probably would never have paid any attention to its existence before—why would she? After all, barbers were pretty much for guys. But now, they were for…her.
She walked inside to find the place was much smaller than her normal salon, with a handful of chairs and a small waiting area. Someone was sitting at one of the chairs getting their hair cut, while another employee was at the front desk. A bit short, definitely a woman, but with close-cropped hair.
“Hi, excuse me,” Gwen began with some hesitation. “I have an appointment? Under McMillan?”
“Ah, yes, Dr. McMillan told me you were coming,” the woman behind the counter answered. “It’ll be just a minute, so sit down.” Told them I was coming?
Gwen took a seat and looked at the TV next to one of the unused chairs. Some sports debate show was on. Four talking heads—all women—were confined to boxes in each corner, arguing about something. The graphic beneath read, COWGURLS: KAYSDAWT — IS SHI ELITE? The sound was off, so Gwen could not hear what was going on, but between moments of discussion, they were playing B-roll of a team that looked a lot like the Dallas Cowboys. The team name looked foreign. The last name looked foreign. And what’s that “shi” thing about?
“Gwen?” the employee called out. “It looks like they’re taking a little while and nobody’s coming in, so I’ll get you taken care of over here.” Shi got up from the chair and walked over to the barber, taking her baseball cap off in the process.
“Whoa, gal. That’s boi hair”, shi reacted after seeing the new client up close. The expression on hir face was probably the look this barber would give to someone holding a garbage bag. “What the heck happened?”
“Uhh…” Gwen didn’t know how much shi could say. “Long story.”
“You look like a McMillan science project,” shi chuckled heartily.
“Yeah," Gwen replied sarcastically. "I came here as soon as I could to get it chopped off." That’s not far off from the truth. “I need a good girl cut of hair,” shi explained.
“That’s gonna be a record for hair we’ve chopped off. Get in the chair,” shi indicated. “My name’s Trace.” The barber began to go to work.
“So… How did you get that hair?”
Gwen hesitated for a moment and tried to think of how a guy might get in this situation. “...It was a bet.”
“A bet?”
“Yeah, so I had to spend a few months growing this out.”
“Any longer than that and they’d have sent you to bois’ school!” shi laughed. Huh? “You must have gotten teased for how boily it was.”
Gwen didn’t know what to say to that as Trace snipped away. Bois’ school? It was hir first indication that something here was more different than shi’d given credit for at the start.
“You know, I’ve been dating this boi now for a few months and hys hair is just super long… That’s gotta be a pain. No gurl would be caught dead even trying it. Bravo, Gwen.”
“I’m not that brave,” Gwen replied, trying to brush it off while taking notes of everything being said.
“So, shifting topics, what do you think of how the NFL season’s been going?”
Oh great. Football talk. “...Certainly been interesting.” Between Sarrah and this woman, shi was going to need to read up on her sports.
“You play fantasy?”
“Maybe someday, but not this season.” Gwen felt like shi was being interrogated almost, like Trace was trying to prove to hirself that hir client was actually a gurl. Do guys back home do this?
It was not long before Trace spun the chair around to the mirror. “So, Gwen, what do you think?” Hir long hair was a memory, consigned to interdimensional particles on the floor. In its place was a short pixie-type cut. Shi couldn’t remember ever having hair that didn’t come down to her shoulder—let alone this.
“Well… It looks good.” Gwen knew shi had to filter hir thoughts.
“A lot better than that boily mess. I never thought I’d have to cut hair that long.” Guys have long hair sometimes…at least back home. Is it just not a thing here? “Any adjustments needed?”
“Not that I can tell.”
Gwen hopped out of the chair, pulled out the cash shi was given, and settled up with the barber. Shi returned to the car to find only half an hour had passed. My salon appointments take twice as long or more, shi noticed.
With some extra time to kill, Gwen decided to fiddle with the radio. Suzan had left it on a rock music station, 106.2 on the dial, but none of the songs were familiar. They all sounded off for reasons shi couldn’t pinpoint. She twisted the dial all the way to 88.
“...Goddess made women and menne in Hir image, and shi made them to mate and be different…” It was a preacher with a thick Southern drawl on some Christian station. “Imagine a boi priest. A pink altar. Shi wouldn’t want that!”
This wasn’t very fun to listen to. After tuning past a snippet of classical music, shi made hir way to NPR.
“...The First Laddie was also in town, though hei was mostly interested in chatting with the other husbennes.” Hay? And why do they say “husband” like that? Another oddity.
A few clicks to the right. On 92.6, some country song with a woman singer. They were talking Spanish on 93.4. “DJ Lavender here on Sparkle FM.” The name of the station was unfamiliar enough, so Gwen lingered at 94.6. “You know, sometimes I wonder what gurls think bois’ school is actually like. It’s not just pink everywhere… It’s serious stuff.” It was a deep but melodic voice. There’s that bois’ school thing again. 95.2 had a commercial for some local car dealership. “Hot deals at Mid-Lakes Casto Breymann Jeep Ram. Save on new Challengers…” 96.6 had more sports talk. “The Santa Diega Madres fired their manager after finishing fourth in the NL West. Ellen…” Another twist. “98.8 The Mad Bitch wants to take you to see Cass Hoffwoman in concert at the Auditorium…” More commercials, music, static, commercials…
As Gwen returned to where shi started on the radio, shi finally realized why all the songs were so strange to hir ear: it was because shi was so used to hearing men sing songs like this that the women in their place just seemed wrong. Shi decided to turn the radio off and get back home—or what passed for home now.
