She got out of bed. She took a shower. She picked out a dress and some shoes and did her make up and hair. She took a moment to admire how cute she looked, and in that moment she felt a twinge normalness that she suddenly found unsettling. She had gone about her normal morning routine, without a hitch, without a moment of it feeling alien or absurd. She had picked out something cute and attractive, that matched and complimented her features in a classy way that echoed the styles the 1960's. She had done her hair to match this and she had done all of it as if it was completely natural to her, like she had done it before.
She looked in the mirror and she wasn't surprised to see her face. Wasn't surprised to hear the higher lilt of her softer voice. Wasn't confused when someone called her by her new name. Her whole day felt as if it had happened a thousand times before and it was her new job to live in it, she felt like a train on a track.
She was of two minds on this, at once panic and peace. Panic that she was losing herself to her life. Peace that she fit into the life without struggle. Panic that she would always feel like this, a slave to a new personality with no freedom to change. Peace in the comforts of being wealthy, popular, and beautiful. Panic in feeling soulless.
Then there were the people in her life. Zoe wanted her to be an artist. Sarah wanted her to be a cheerleader, or at the very least date a football player. Her mother wanted her to be her sister. And she no longer knew who she was.
She read the words she had read last night in the journal and had the strange feeling that she had wrote them at some point, though she had no memory of doing so. She wrote these feelings down in the journal and felt fear once she noticed her own handwriting matched the previous entries, with the exception of the 'i' which she did not dot with a heart. She wrote that there is a McMillan inside of her, and a Goddess, but that she was only a vessel for the two, like a jar holding oil and water. As she wrote that the McMillan in her smiled because it thought of her as the oil, and the Athena in her was horrified because it feared it was the water.
It was with these thoughts that she fell to sleep, restlessly to dream again.
