Six Months Later
Andy yawned, sighed, and rolled over, blinking in the morning light. It still felt odd to be back off a nine-to-five schedule so soon after getting back into the workplace. But she couldn't say she wasn't appreciating maternity leave; for all the hassles of taking care of her babies (not least the impromptu three A.M. feedings that led to her sleeping in this late,) it was still kind of pleasant, in its own way. She thought she could begin to understand why some women decided to be stay-at-home moms.
Not that she was seriously considering that, not after finally getting work again after so long. Granted, caring for the kids would leave her with something to do, not just sitting around the house all day, but still, she just wasn't a stay-at-home kind of person. But the twins were only a couple months old; it would be a while yet before they were weaned and ready for her to be away for significant portions of the day.
She took a deep breath and heaved herself out of bed, stretching and twisting the tiredness out of her muscles and straightening her frazzled hair a bit. They'd discussed the question of what to do then a little bit during her pregnancy, but to be honest Andy had been too focused on simply dealing with the fact of it (and Sue on helping her) to make any plans farther ahead. But once the babies were safely born, they'd returned to the topic.
In many ways, Sue hadn't really changed that much despite becoming a man. He was still the well-organized, helpful, tidy spouse she'd always been, (somewhat to Andy's embarassment, as even though he would focus on getting her ready, he somehow managed to be the better-groomed and dressed of the two when they went out,) and after having borne the weight of the family's financial needs for so long, he was as eager to get back home as she was to get back to work.
They'd decided that once the kids were ready to be away from their mother, Andy would go back to work part-time, with an eye toward easing back into a full-time schedule as it became feasible. Sue would move back to part-time hours at the shop and take care of the babies while Andy was at work. They'd have to play it by ear somewhat, but they could handle that - and anyway, that was a ways off yet. They'd have time to get it all figured out.
Andy looked herself over in the mirror. Nearly a year on from her change, the reflection no longer seemed unfamiliar, but there was still a little feeling of strangeness when she thought about the difference between himself as she had used to be, herself as she was when she changed, and herself now. There was her hair, now hanging to halfway down her back; as much as it was extra work to keep tidy and clean (not to mention packing it safely into a hairnet at work,) she knew Sue thought it looked very nice on her, and when she looked at it she had to agree. Then there was the rest of her...
She headed over to the crib and lifted first one child, then the other out. To her great relief, her gut had returned to approximately ordinary size in about a month and a half after the birth, but her breasts were still much enlarged since she was still nursing. That had taken her somewhat by surprise; not that she didn't vaguely recall that from Sue's pregnancies, but that had been years ago. And as she recalled, and as Sue had confirmed (with a little too much relish,) they weren't likely to go back down to quite as small as they had been...
But that was, after all, just one of many ways in which she would never be quite the same. When she thought about it, everything about this experience had changed her in some way. She would have a more maternal figure for the rest of her life, and, somewhat more unnervingly, a more maternal mindset. She was never going to forget the pain, the tension, the sheer intensity of giving birth, or the blessed, exhausted relief of having it finally done afterwards, and cradling her new children. It's life-altering, Andy, even when you're expecting it; that was what the woman at the obstetrician's office had said to her. It was true, really.
She smiled as the babies woke in her arms, sitting down on the bed and setting little Jason in her lap, watching his gaze drift lazily around the room - while Annie immediately fixed her eyes on her mother, tiny rabbit-ears perking up as she smiled an enigmatic little baby smile. Andy opened her robe and lifted her daughter to a breast, which she eagerly latched onto. The rabbit-woman sighed happily. She wasn't going to forget the gentle intimacy of feeding her children from her own body, either. Or the expressions in their tiny, bright eyes...
These feelings...all so strange and new, but somehow familiar on a deeper level, as if she'd been waiting to feel them all her life. She wondered if that was an instinctual thing; Sue seemed to think so, understanding exactly what she meant even though her attempts to describe that feeling were a bit muddled. She supposed it was a testament to the power of this maternal instinct that less than a year into life as a woman, she already found herself thinking that she might not mind doing this again - of course, not for a good while yet, they already had Alex and Sally and the twins to look after, but maybe in a few years, when the older girls had graduated and the twins were ready to start school...
The bedroom door opened, and she turned to see Alex. "Oh. Uh, sorry," the dragon-girl stammered, starting to shut the door, but Andy shook her head. "It's...it's okay, kiddo. Was there something you wanted?"
Alex shrugged, stepping tentatively into the room and shutting the door behind her. "I...I dunno," she said. "I was just...just thinking..."
Andy patted the bedspread next to her; Alex took the hint and sat down, making something of an imposing physical presence next to the rabbit-woman. Both she and Sally had hit something of a growth spurt in the last few months, and she was now decisively taller than her moth-her father, at least if you didn't count the rabbit ears. She'd developed a bit more, too. Neither of the girls were exactly Amazons, but evidently the draconic form tended towards the striking.
"It's...well, it's just, it's been close to a year now," Alex said. "And, I dunno, it's just been kind of on my mind..."
"Yeah?"
The dragon-girl sighed. "I don't know. I never felt like I wanted to be something else, before I changed. And it kind of feels weird that I have changed and I haven't really minded it - well, most of it. But then I think back to how curious I was about the changed and stuff, and I wonder if I wasn't...really kinda dissatisfied...? But I never felt that way...I dunno. I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life then, but...well, I don't now, either...I just dunno, I guess..."
Andy shrugged. "Hey, you're...well, fourteen, now, I guess, you and Sally. You don't need to be fretting about what you want to do with yourself just yet. As for the rest..." She trailed off for a minute as Jason woke up a little more and started to squirm around on her lap. "Here, hold him for me, will you?" she said, handing the baby to Alex.
The dragon-girl took him gingerly; they hadn't had a baby in the house since Sally was born, when she...he...was only four. She really wasn't used to holding them; even though her dad didn't seem to think twice about handing off the babies to her, and it didn't seem terribly complicated on the face of it, there was this nagging feeling of what if I'm doing it wrong? she kept having. Still, Jason didn't seem to be uncomfortable or anything - even against the scales of her hands and forearms...
"As for the rest," Andy said, "I think you're making it more complicated than it needs to be. It did happen - and you said yourself that you don't mind it, right? Is it really that important whether you subconsciously wanted it or just got it anyway?"
Alex bit her lip. "Well, it's just...I dunno, I mean..." She sighed. "I see you and...you and the twins, and Mom, and...?" She trailed off, unable to bring herself to put the question into words.
Realization dawned on Andy's face. "Oh. You're wondering about the possibility of having kids yourself, aren't you?" Alex blushed and nodded silently. Andy laughed. "Well, again, you've got a while yet before you need to be worrying about that," she said. "It's a big undertaking even when you're ready for it. But it's also an incredibly rewarding one, kiddo."
Alex nodded, looking embarassed. "It's just...when I have my clutch, there's...I get these weird feelings toward them...I think it's hormonal or something...and then I get rid of them 'cause they'll rot if I don't, and...it just feels like...I dunno. Like someone shut off the radio just when a good song was coming on. It's...I don't get depressed or anything, but I wonder about it...and then I wonder if...well, if it's okay for me to be interested in that?" She looked over at Andy curiously.
Andy smiled and shrugged. "It's only natural, Alex," she said. "Obviously you don't want to let that kind of thing take over for your better judgement and push you into things you're not ready for, but it doesn't sound like it's anything that strong, from what you're telling me." Alex shook her head. "But otherwise, sure," Andy said. "It's perfectly normal to think about this kind of thing."
Alex smiled, then frowned. "But...I mean, it would be with a guy, wouldn't it?" she said. "And I'm...I used to be...I didn't think you'd see it that way..."
Andy sighed and nodded, putting an arm around her daughter. "I probably wouldn't have," she said. "I was...I was wrong about a lot of things, Alex. And I passed some of that on to you, probably even when I didn't actively mean to. And...I'm sorry for that, kiddo. But...well, what happened to us was a wake-up call. It put me in a position where I had to take another look at things I took for granted. And..." She laughed. "And look at me now," she said, shaking her head in wonderment as her youngest daughter suckled at her breast. "I'd be a hell of a hypocrite if I acted like you were wrong for being interested in the possibility of being a mother, that's for sure."
She pulled Alex into a hug. "If you do find someone to start a family with, I can't tell you how happy i'll be for you," she said. "But if that's not how it goes, you're still my kid, and I'm proud of you in so many other ways. And in the meantime, you-"
She was cut off by an annoyed wail from Jason, who seemed to be tired of his sister getting to be the one in Mom's arms. Andy gently pulled Annie away from her and motioned to Alex, who rather nervously swapped babies with her. "In the meantime, that isn't something you have to deal with," Andy chuckled, making soothing noises to her infant son as she settled him in place. "You'll get to all this in good time, kiddo."
Alex smiled and hugged her back.
