Tiffany stomped into the counselor's office with a sigh, shutting the door a bit hard behind her. She slouched over to the couch and flopped onto it with a sigh, not even paying attention to the counselor's greeting. "Why did I have to lose everything when other people get more with their changes?" she moaned.
The Gorgon woman gazed calmly at her. "I thought we'd concluded that you really didn't lose anything, Tiffany," she said. "Didn't we find that most of what you felt your first change had brought you was either imagined, or things you already had by your own merits?"
The horned girl huffed in irritation. Why had she come here? This was not what she needed...she wanted to be consoled, not told that things weren't as bad as she thought! But the couch was soft, and she was upset, and she couldn't really manage to pry herself up from it. "Y...yeah," she said at last. "But...I mean, there's someone out there who's a friggin' dinosaur. Hell, there's sort of half-dinosaur girl-thing in my class, even. How come they get to be intimidating and I just look like a freak?"
The counselor bit down on a smile. "The standards for 'freak' are a bit different than you're used to, these days," she said. "You really shouldn't keep calling yourself that."
Tiffany sighed. "Oh? If I'm not a freak, then what am I? Other people all seem to be something, even when I don't know what the something is. I just look like...like some kind of raver albino unicorn mashup!" She rolled onto her side, and her horn reminded her of its presence as she dropped her head a little too low and got it caught on the armrest. She frowned.
"Tiffany," the counselor said, "I honestly think that's nothing more than negative self-talk. From an outside perspective, you're no less...coherent...in your appearance than anybody else in this school. Really, you look perfectly nice. I think you may be seizing on your appearance as a target for more general frustrations."
"Like getting this stupid horn caught on things?" Tiffany asked dryly.
"Mm, and probably various other frustrations with your change," the counselor replied. "I certainly won't claim that your new form doesn't carry its own inconveniences - it seems that most people's changes come with their own ups and downs. But I don't think creating false self-criticism simply in order to have something more definite to vent about is healthy."
"Yeah, well, I'm kind of short on the ups," Tiffany said. "Besides, even if I don't look like a freak, I have less of a figure now than I did before. How is that fair?"
The counselor frowned, trying to recall. "I...I can't say I remember what you looked like in your first change," she said. "But you look about like how you did before that, figure-wise, so at least you broke even. Was that something you liked about your first change?"
Tiffany opened her mouth, then stopped and frowned. Was it? She...couldn't really remember. Again, she had hardly even looked at herself...and she couldn't remember anything specific that she liked about her figure then, just...a sort of general feeling like she was the sexiest, most imposing thing in the world, like...like...but this, again, fell flat in the remembrance, like so many of the other feelings that she'd had in that form...why did it all have to fade so much in her memory? It was so...dissatisfying. "I...I dunno," she said. "I...it felt like I was turning heads..."
"Was it the attention that you enjoyed, then?"
"I...dunno," she said. Had people been impressed by her? She couldn't remember... "I just...I want people to respect me, that's all. Half the time they don't even notice me, now! And when they do, it's like...well, even when they do notice me they don't notice!"
"So you want to command respect by your appearance, then?" the counselor asked. Tiffany nodded. "I...at least with the first change, they would react when I walked in the room..."
The counselor nodded. "I see. How did they react?"
Tiffany sighed. "They...they were intimidated...some of 'em were afraid." That sounded less like something to be proud of than she remembered. "But...I mean, at least I wasn't being ignored..."
The counselor sighed. "Tiffany, to be honest, I'm not sure why you think your being unnoticed is the fault of your change. I think it might have a lot more to do with your behavior."
The horned girl frowned, not exactly pleased. "What?"
"Well," the counselor said, "you want people to notice and pay attention to you, but you haven't been doing anything noteworthy...pretty much since the Sun changed, I believe. You haven't been involved in any activities, from what I've seen you hardly talk to any of the other students, and according to your father you've spent almost all of your free time outside of school holed up at home. That isn't like you at all, Tiffany. You used to be active in and out of school - twice class president, for just one exampe. I don't think it's any surprise that people aren't taking as much note of you as you're used to."
Tiffany felt her stomach knot. "Y-you've been talking to my dad?" Did he...what if...what if he told her what...what she'd been like at home...?
The counselor nodded. "A little. I wanted to get some background on how you've been doing since the Sun changed. He said you really hadn't been up to much, and hardly left the house."
Tiffany breathed a little easier. He...he hadn't, then. "But...I mean, I shouldn't just...just fade away completely, just because I wasn't involved in anything for a month and a half! Hell, school wasn't even in session for three weeks! I just want some respect!"
The counselor nodded. "It might help, then," she said, "if you reminded the school of why you're worthy of respect."
Tiffany frowned. "What does that mean?"
"It means," the Gorgon said, "that you could start doing the things that won you that respect in the first place again. You have a knack for organization; several of your teachers have commented on that. You've also shown the ability to get people to listen to you, and to direct a group's members according to what it's trying to accomplish. You've put those talents into the service of the student body before; it might help if you showed them that you're still capable of doing just that."
"But...but if they don't even notice me, how am I supposed to get them to pay attention to me?" Tiffany said. She bristled a little at the idea that she should have to serve other people to get back the status she'd lost, but she wasn't really sure why she felt bothered by it; in its own way, that had been one of the gratifying parts about her old student-politics activities. "I mean, they don't even look up when I enter the room..."
The counselor shrugged. "I'm not sure, myself," she said. "But for a start, I'd suggest that you start carrying yourself like you used to. Since your second change, you've been slouching or stomping or even just shrinking away from the public eye. You don't look like you want to be noticed."
Tiffany thought about that. "I...I just..." She bit her lip. "I just don't want them staring at me, that's all..."
The counselor nodded. "Well, if you keep telling yourself that you're a freak, it's no wonder you're afraid of attention. But you're not, and you certainly don't seem happy to be under the radar. I think you might simply have to make yourself be proud of your new body if you're going to really convince anybody else to pay attention to it."
Tiffany mulled that over for a minute. She didn't feel proud of it...she didn't really hate it as much as she was just underwhelmed by it, but she didn't feel proud of it. But...on the other hand, hadn't Sarah of all people said it was cool? In the same breath as she'd said Tiffany's old body looked like a sex doll, the little bitch, but still...she wondered if maybe she looked better to other changed people than she did to herself.
And...and there was that moment then, where she'd yelled at Sarah to go away, and Sarah looked like she was almost going to do it, not because she wanted to, but...like she was just heeding Tiffany's request because Tiffany had meant it...that was weird, that was. Of course, Sarah hadn't gone, but the fact that she even hesitated, when Tiffany wasn't at all intimidating anymore...that was kind of odd, and even Sarah had looked like she knew it. Maybe...maybe she could get people to listen to her, after all...
