Jon (and his penis) went into his room. Jon stripped and looked down at his penis. "You really don't mind peeing through your mouth?" he asked.
"Duh, penis," she said, pointing at herself. "Why do people always seem suprised when a penis doesn't mind doing things that penises are supposed to do. I'm designed for sex and urination. I like them, at least the sex part. The urination isn't bad. I mean, I don't mind it at all. You have to remember, Jon, I'm a penis. This is natural for me."
"What about breathing?" asked Jon.
"I get everything I need from you, Jon," said his penis. "Food, air, everything I need I get from our circulatory system. I'm completely integrated into your body. I don't need to do those things because all of my physical needs are already supplied by you."
"Oh," Jon said, not really able to think of anything else to say.
"Seriously, Jon," said his penis. "You should know this already."
"I'll try and remember next time," said Jon. He knew that he could wish for this knowledge, but how could he do that without his penis overhearing? "So, um, what do I call you?"
His penis rolled her eyes and said, "By my name? I do have one, you know." Seeing his blank stare, his penis sighed and said, "Excelsior? You could have called me Elisabeth or Jessica, but, no*, you had to call me Excelsior. Really, Jon, why do guys have to come up with such rediculous names for their equipment? I'm a* penis,_ not a goddess."
