"I was temping at the natural history museum out in L.A. -- that's where I'm from," Tabitha continued. "I was sorting through some old, dusty files when this rock falls out of one of them. So I'm holding the rock in one hand, wondering what it's doing in there, and meanwhile my boss starts yelling at me about something. I kinda just mutter to myself, 'I wish that bitch would get diarrhea or something.' I swear I see a flash of light come from the rock, but then I look up and see this horrified expression on my boss's face, and she bolts out of the room.
"After about 15 minutes, she doesn't come back, and I'm thinking it's a huge coincidence, but I figure it can't hurt anything to just try another wish. I wish there's a winning lottery ticket in my purse. That time, I know I see the rock flash. I go digging through my purse right away, and find a scratch ticket in there that wasn't there before. I go to work on it, and it turns out it's worth $500. I'm a little disappointed at first it's not a million, but then I kick myself -- who cares if you have a million bucks if you can get whatever you want with a wishing stone?
"I slip the stone and the ticket in my purse and decide I'm gonna take off, probably forever, 'cause I sure as hell don't need to temp anymore. Just as I stand up, another woman comes in and tells me I might as well go home for the day because Ms. Green, my boss, was just taken to the hospital.
"I realize right away what happened, and that it's my fault. I dig the stone back out and say, 'I wish Ms. Green didn't have diarrhea!' This time there's no flash, and I'm worried there were only two wishes left in the rock or something. I'm desperate, so I say something like, 'Okay, then I wish her diarrhea would stop!' Then the rock flashes.
"I'm shaking all the way walking to my car, and then driving back to my apartment. I don't even cash the lottery ticket in. I just pace around for three hours waiting for my boyfriend Ryan to get home from work. When he does, I tell him what happened. I think he doesn't believe me, but he tries to reassure me, and he tells me it might be okay to wish for good stuff for people, like improving them. He tells me that's exactly what I should do, right then, and so I took the rock and said something like, 'Okay, I wish all of Ms. Green's health problems were totally cleared up, and that she'll get laid tonight, 'cause she could really use it.' The rock didn't flash.
"Now I think maybe there are only three wishes. Ryan and I think about what the problem could be, and finally he wonders if maybe it's three wishes per person. So he takes it and says, 'I wish I was a totally hot stud.'"
Jon realized there were at least three ways that a wishing stone might interpret that.
