Jon's alarm clock was like a small clock-shaped rooster that made an annoying electronic "BRRRT" sound instead of crowing like a normal rooster would. Also it didn't resemble a rooster at all. Okay, it was just a clock.
But what it did do was signal the end of Jon's Sarah-imposed trance. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. What had Sarah done to him? How had she--
"It doesn't matter, Jon," Sarah's voice echoed inside his head.
"Sarah? Is that you?" Jon asked out loud.
"No. Ugh. It's not me, you idiot, this is a magical projection-recording that you will set off every single time you try to ask a stupid question. I'm in the shoes. Just friggin' forget about why or how any of this is happening and just get dressed."
Not wanting to upset any voices that may or may not reside in his shoes, Jon simply nodded and walked over to his closet, where he knelt down to remove the chestnut-colored suede Ugg boots in precisely Sarah's size from his feet so that he could remove his pajama bottoms and put on some pants.
"Nope. Errrt. Wrong." Sarah's voice had returned.
"I didn't ask any questions!" Jon protested.
"I show up not only when you ask stupid questions, but also when you do stupid things. How do you think you're going to see what it's like in my shoes if you can just take them off?"
"But then how do I get--"
"I told you, no stupid questions! Now stand up."
Jon sighed and did as his footwear told him, then watched as his blue flannel pajama bottoms warped and shifted into a skintight pair of black leggings.
"What the hell just--"
"Black leggings are what you wear with chestnut-colored suede Ugg boots in precisely Sarah's size, you latent Russian aqueduct. Get with the program."
"Geez, you're even meaner than Sarah is."
"Get used to it, fuckface."
And with that, Jon finished getting himself dressed and ready for school. He was certainly glad he had showered the night before.
