"...to return you to your position as chief of surgery," finished Stud Muffin.
"Oh, thank you, thank you!" exclaimed Cassandra.
"Of course," said Stud Muffin, "that means I'm going to have to make some changes to the hospital, the same way I changed the high school, so that they'll accept you in such a powerful position." He took the calculator-like device from Suki and started pressing buttons himself.
Cassandra looked a little stunned that she'd apparently be staying in her current form. Donald looked pissed, which Stud Muffin noticed when he raised his head from his work. "Why, what's the matter?" he asked.
"So you're just gonna leave her like that?" retorted Donald.
"I've made your wife 20 years younger and given her the face of a model and the body, the face, and the attitude of a porn star," pointed out Stud Muffin. "Do you know how many men wish that would happen to their wives?"
"Those men are shallow," snapped Donald. "I want the woman I love. The woman I respect. The woman I know. I want the woman I married."
"You got it," said Stud Muffin, pressing a few buttons on his device. It glowed white.
Donald began growing younger -- his salt-and-pepper hair losing the salt, the lines erasing from his face, his skin regaining its tautness and youthful vitality.
Then he shrank a few inches in height, and it began to become obvious to everyone present what was happening. His jawline softened, his Adam's apple dwindled to nothingness, his cheekbones became more prominent, and his eyes became a wonderfully vivid icy blue. His business suit almost seemed to come to life as the fabric crawled over his body, reformulating itself into a yellow minidress that was straining to cover his newly-expanded breasts and hips.
The raven-haired beauty that Donald had become teetered on a pair of yellow sandals with 6-inch heels.
"There you go," said Stud Muffin. "You met Cassandra while dancing in a club about a year ago -- you're both big fans of hip-hop now, by the way -- and it turns out you love having sex with her, you respect the way she uses her giant strap-on on you, and you know you'll come a lot when the two of you are together. Oh, and a few months ago, the two of you spent a weekend in Massachusetts and got married there. Of course, you're not legally married in this state, at least not right now, but you act like it."
Cassandra and whatever-Donald's-name-was-now looked horrified.
Stud Muffin smiled. "Don't worry, I wouldn't deprive the males of the world of getting to have sex with you. You're both confirmed bisexuals -- your lesbian experiences are exclusive, but you're total sluts when it comes to men. You don't always have the same taste, though, so it's only the luckiest ones who get to enjoy a 3-way with Cassandra and -- hmm, what should your name be?"
Suki spoke up. "Like Castor and Pollux. Cassandra and --"
"Tori!" interrupted B.J.
Suki rolled her eyes. "No, a different name for Pollux, not just the second half of Castor. I was gonna say Polly."
"She doesn't look like a Polly, and they're definitely not twins anyway. Cassandra and Victoria," emphasized Stud Muffin, "but you go by Tori. Now that that's done, who's going to be next to ask a question. Let's see..."
He pointed at someone else.
