In strode a Greek god wearing blue jeans and a black T-shirt. Okay, he probably wasn't literally a Greek god, but he was muscular, tanned, and handsome -- everything Jon wasn't. Jon found himself wishing he had the rock so he could wish himself to look like this guy.
After he entered, two Playboy centerfolds dressed as strippers -- at least, that's what they looked like -- walked in on 6-inch platform heels. The platinum blonde stood on his left, and the Asian stood on his right.
"Greetings, diner patrons!" he boomed. "My name is Stud Muffin, and this is Suki and B.J. You have already discovered the first of my magical inventions. A little muscular control and temporary paralysis. Works pretty well, I'd say."
Magical inventions? Jon was now wondering if this guy had a wishing stone, too.
"But that's nothing compared to my second magical invention," said Stud Muffin, or whatever his real name was. He turned to the Asian and said, "Suki, I'm in the mood for this group to be a little extra colorful. Program the R-C parameter to, uh, 90%."
Suki had what looked like a 1970s calculator in one hand. She held it up and began pressing buttons with a long, square-tipped fingernail as Stud Muffin once again addressed the frozen diner patrons.
"You see, ladies and gentlemen, especially you ladies, I have chosen to use my magical talents for a single purpose -- increasing the supply of attractive women on this planet. You should feel honored that I chose this establishment at random on this fine afternoon."
"Ready, Stud Muffin," said Suki with a trace of an accent, handing him the calculator.
"Excellent," he said. He took it, aimed it toward the female side of the diner as if it were a remote control, and jabbed at one of the buttons.
Jon saw the calculator glow briefly in the same way the wishing stone would.
