Linda Madison -- Jon's single mother -- had just picked up her youngest child, Mikey Madison, from his elementary school, when suddenly her old white-painted family SUV morphed into a slightly newer, dark red SUV. The admittedly pretty bad (but still loved) aging pop country starlet she was listening to changed to an extremely dry audiobook on Ancient Civilizations. An old crusty professor was currently rambling about how contrary to popular perception, the Incas were very much ahead of all other concurrent peoples, and that were it not for several bizarre spontaneous in-house troubles igniting an internal civil war of unclear nature, not even the plague would have prevented them from defeating the Spaniards. She perked up to what he was talking about, not only because she was completely shocked at her sudden change in vehicle, but because her father had gone on similar ramblings before his final expedition to Peru. 'Even if they have weird undiscovered artifacts down there,' she'd told him, 'are they really yours to just take home? Wouldn't it belong in some Peruvian museum or something?'
He'd always just said she'd never understand what was 'at stake.' She didn't really like pushing him after he got like that...
She snapped out of her mourning to check to see if her son was alright. As normal he was engrossed in a very expensive handheld game that he'd gotten for getting straight A's. It was still an awful present that made him more withdrawn and strange, but Mikey had good enough math skills to be treated to something he really enjoyed. But right now, she saw something very alarming. As Mikey enjoyed whatever game he was looking at, his entire head, hair, eyes and neck became a nauseating, sluglike green. She almost shrieked in surprise, and would have, if her own throat hadn't liquefied into a similar strange blue paste.
Dreaming... I'm dreaming... calm down... Linda said as she drifted out of her lane and got honked at by a large truck in the opposite lane. The near miss jolted her alert and she quickly swerved over to the side of the road and slammed on the breaks.
Unfortunately for her and her son, their surreal slime-heads weren't very attached to their unchanged, normal bodies, and flung off their shoulders entirely, splatting against the inside of the opposing car doors.
"Do not discount the strange, mystical rumors of the old Incas; they only seem far fetched to us because their achievements terrified the conquistadors enough to destroy so many concrete traces of them..." the clearly heavyset professor continued to wheeze.
Catherine really, really did not want to touch the goops her wish had somehow created. Whatever they were, they clearly had a strange ability to alter people very thoroughly. She tried not to focus too hard on the fact that she now had a taller, more awkward body, and a fucking penis now too. She needed damage control, and freaking out wasn't going to get her anywhere.
"Are you going to be alright while I go get a broom and bucket to but that... that gunk in?"
Her dorky brother, Ryan Khang, had calmed down and was staring at his pale, black-painted fingers on his bed. It was really weird to see him so... enthralled by something. Normally he was very distant unless the subject changed to something unbearably stupid, like finding weird rocks on Mars or who the greatest original Star Trek teleplay writer was (D.C. Fontana, who made all the weird Spock stories, he'd always say).
"Huh? Oh, oh yeah... I'll be here uh... wow..." he trailed off. He never really thought anything like this could really happen. If he wasn't dreaming, maybe his life now would finally be as interesting as he had desperately always hoped it would be? He was very much horrified by the new weirdness of his body, but it was all just so stupefyingly baffling that he didn't really know how to react.
Ok, get the empty paint buckets from the garage, swat both magical snots into it and close the lid... hope they don't eat through the plastic and call Marcus. Or Dad. Or I'll think of something else. Oh god...
This is way too real to be even a lucid nightmare. Zoe thought as she heard the uh... the Chinese girl with Jon's body... reassure her brother and leave the room.
What the fuck.
Now that the girl was gone, that left a precious window to act and get her fucking body back. She attempted to move very slightly, then after realizing she could, she slowly tested to see if she could 'jump' off the wall, like a tarantula biting its prey.
Compressing herself down, she realized she could probably fling herself almost entirely to the boy. If she landed on his head, maybe things would go back to normal? Maybe?
GIVE ME MY LIFE BACK YOU FUCKING NERR- Zoe screamed (silently) as she flinged across the room and glomped onto Ryan's distracted head.
Ryan immediately began the freak out of all freak outs before blacking out entirely. His screams were wholly muffled by Zoe's gross form.
Zoe noticed two very infuriating things. First, she was still a large ball of blue Chuck E. Cheese snot, and second, her former body was warping into something else.
The first thing to go was the body's pale complexion. It darkened slightly too much to be a white person's tan, but it clearly still didn't get much actual sun. She noticed that what she was actually seeing was Ryan's head-complexion spreading down into her body. This caused her to panic and let his unconscious head go.
Sadly, the changes continued anyway. The entire frame of her old body shrunk a couple inches, and he clothes warped from a black corset and skirt to a NASA t shirt and shorts.
Her old body seemed to stop changing, but she noticed that Ryan's head was now altered as well. Longer hair, slightly softer features... this kid had turned entirely into some nerd girl!
Catherine had finally gotten that green slime off her ceiling without touching it, using the broom and her new height to her advantage. Thankfully, the mass seemed to clump together entirely and didn't leave residue behind. She very carefully brushed it into the tilted-over paint bucket and then quickly sealed the lid over it.
Well, that's one problem down. I didn't even cause enough of a commotion to disturb Rachael...
Wait, Rachael. She was home, maybe this weird wish did something to her too?
Catherine briskly walked to her dorky sister's bedroom and just about had an aneurysm.
Right next to Rachael's sleeping body was another one of those body-warping slime monsters!
It seemed inert right now but she quickly retrieved the paint bucket and broom and lunged to rescue her little sister.
The slime was slammed against the wall with the broom as hard as her new, boy arms could swing.
After putting the blue slime into the bucket, she frantically rushed to wake her sister.
Rachael Khang was exhausted. She seemed to always be under pressure to excel. She'd always had really floaty, lofty dreams of space travel and had sank many hours into just about anything even mildly related to that interest, but her first day back after spring break just reminded her of how stressful academics could be, even if they aren't 'hard' per se.
She was having a really freaky dream about some angry goth girl kicking a nerdy Chinese boy's ass. She didn't really know what any of it meant but it was definitely interesting.
Suddenly she was being shook awake by Catherine. She felt really groggy but could tell something was seriously wrong. Her sister was melting down and when she tried to shove her away she felt a... boy?
She opened her eyes to see that she was definitely still dreaming. Her older sister's head and neck were attached to a boy's body of a different skin color. This was even weirder than the goth girl dream...
"I'm alright..." she mumbled as she sat up.
"WELL YOU ALMOST WEREN'T!" her nightmare-sister's head yelled. Now she was 70% sure she was actually awake.
Listen, you didn't actually touch the goop, did you?
Marcus looked down at his new body's shoes. Pretty generic and androgynous, but clearly a girl's. There wasn't any of the blue goop on it, but he'd definitely kicked it more than a few times and had no clue if the goop made contact with skin at any point.
"No way, definitely not, Cathy... Jaime uh, might have kicked them a couple times, though... and again he uh... got the same body as I do."
Splitting the Karyn slime in two had caused a weird effect on Marcus. Instead of assimilating and averaging his body with his head, the slight contact and split actually resulted in him now having a twin brother, Jaime, who also had Karyn's old body.
Jaime was very carefully putting the blobs into a piece of tupperware... only for one to immediately latch onto his mouth. He quickly forced it off him and back into the tupperware by making even more direct contact with it, and slammed the lid down tight on both Karyns.
Panting, Jaime realized he was way more winded than he should be, and closed his eyes to relax...
What?! You're making Jasmine clean up your mess?! She didn't even need to know about this magic stuff!
"Hey, I was going through a lot. And Jasmine loves to clean anyway. I was basically doing her a favor." Marcus was a little embarrassed that his sister had seen him like he was, but he was trying to stay level headed anyway.
You're so... URRRGH! I messed up enough without you roping more people into all this!
"Calm down, calm down... are you SURE that rock is gone?" Marcus was confident that the wish was vague enough that finding the rock would basically solve all this immediately.
Yes!! I'm still looking, and my Dad was supposed to be driving my sister home, and...
"Cathy, just tell me if you need me to come over."
Back in the hallway, Jasmine Montoya opened her eyes again. She felt really weird, but thankfully had managed to not touch the body-altering slimes her dumbass brother had apparently wished up with a genie or something. From below the neck he looked like he could be her twin sister, only much paler. She'd completely freaked out but he'd somehow managed to calm her down, explain everything, and trick her into fucking cleaning up his own mess like a stupid maid. Somehow even with everything going wrong he still managed to be a pendejo.
