As Mikey got into the front seat of the car, he realized something. He didn't know how to drive.
"Uh, on second thought," said Mikey, "Lets just order in."
"Alright, whatever you want" said Jon. They both got back out of the car and went back inside the house. Jon reached for the phone book and asked "So what do you want, honey?"
"I donno, how about pizza?" Mikey hopped on the couch and turned on the TV. He began channel surfing. Law and Order. SpongeBob. Bill Cosby. Joan of Arcadia. Football. QVC. Nothing seemed to interest him.
"Pizza will be here in a half hour" Jon said as he daintily sat down on the couch next to Mikey. "So what're you watching?"
"nothing"
"Here, give me the remote. Lets see if there are any movies on." Jon began surfing the higher channels. HBO, STARS, MAX.
"Wow, wait a second. What was that?" asked Mikey.
"Oh, that was nothing. It's really boring. You don't want to see that." Said Jon nerviously as he continued changing channels.
"Go back to it. I want to watch it."
Sighing, Jon turned the channel back. It was a porno flick. 'Of course' thought Jon. 'It figures he would want to watch this'
A man was being serviced by two heavily endowed women. 'if only he knew how harsh life is with boobs that big' After a few minutes, Jon began thinking, 'I remember when my boobs used to be that perky'. He glanced down at his chest and, in his mind, seeing two sagging and old breasts. He lifted one up and let it fall. 'It just no longer has that good ole spring to it'
At that moment, the doorbell rang. "That must be the pizza," said Jon as he got up and went to the door, grabbing his purse on the way.
"That will be $22.50 ma'am" said the teenage delivery boy. Jon shuffled through his wallet and produced the money. Looking up at the boy, Jon saw that he was staring at his chest.
Glancing down, Jon gasp. His bra and sundress had slipped of his shoulder, revealing his mascular pectoral. But to the delivery boy and Jon, it was revealing his right boob and nipple.
"Oh my god." yelled Jon as he turned around and readjusted his clothes. "Oh my god, I am so, so sorry." he said as he confronted the boy again. "It's just I was sitting down watching this show with my boy, wondering how their boobs were so big and perky and why mine were so... well... not! And then the doorbell rang and I got up in such a hurry, I guess I forgot to straighten myself up again. Oh god, now I am just rambling huh? I bet you think I am some stripper mother or something, but its not like that at all. I am just SO SO SORRY"
The boy's face was beet red by now. He couldn't believe what this old woman had just blurted out to him. "Uh... that will be $22.50" He stummered, not knowing what else to say.
Hurredly, Jon handed him a twenty and a five, saying "keep the change" as he quickly grabbed the pizza and shut the door.
