Baylie sat in the back seat of Bianca’s pink—of course, it had to be pink—minivan as he drove him and Brittanie to the salon located in the mall. Biffanie had wanted to come, but as he had explained the night before, he needed to meet up with the rest of the bois on the cheerleader squad before the evening’s big game, and Brittanie had eagerly volunteered to take him instead.
The revelation that Bianca’s minivan was just as pink as everything else made Baylie sigh. What was it with the boys of this world and pink? That same really annoying radio station was on. Was that all they listened to? It was almost as if this world was trying to force boys into being pink and pretty. He spent most of the time looking out the window. At least the world outside looked normal. Baylie saw the familiar Golden Arches as they drove past and he had to do a double take when he saw the name. McDonna’s? He shook his head. It was another reminder that he was living in a topsy-turvy world. Next to McDonna’s, he saw a Burger Quinn and a Dairy Quinnelle. Baylie tilted his head. Must be their words for king and queen, he figured. After the Burger Quinn, there was a Subway. At least that’s normal.
The van pulled into the mall’s parking lot and into a space next to a similarly pink car. Getting out of the car, Baylie noted that almost all the cars in this row were pink. I guess this is the boys’ section of the mall. As Brittanie got out, Bianca reminded him to give him a call when they were finished so that he could pick them up. Brittanie nodded, and after saying goodbye and giving Bianca a kiss on the cheek, he grabbed Baylie’s hand and started dragging him to the salon.
Baylie had been to Ridgefield Mall from time to time back home, but this version was completely different—and far busier. His jaw dropped as he noted how busy this part of the mall was—and, again, how seemingly everything was drenched in pink, white, and a bit of purple. It was a far cry from the mall back home: everything was just so…girly. Is that…the right word? Baylie wondered as he realized that he really needed to do more research or look stuff up on a computer.
“Are you just gonna stand there and have people look at you like you’re crazy?” Brittanie asked him. Baylie blinked and shook his head.
“Sorry, it’s just that I’ve never seen a mall like this before.”
“Really?” Brittanie asked. “I know Mom said something about you being from another world or something but don’t they have malls where you’re from?”
Baylie nodded. “They do, but not like this.” He put up his hands. “In our world the malls aren’t split between boys and girls, they’re just…all together.”
“Whoa!” Brittanie exclaimed as it was hys turn to stare. “That’s just weird.” Hei looked around nervously. “Maybe we should…talk about this later?” Hei pulled on Baylie’s arm and hurried him off toward a storefront emblazoned with the name “Lavender and Rose”.
After being pulled out of the mall and inside, Baylie blinked for a moment and adjusted his eyes. The salon was a lot bigger than the standard barber shop that Baylie was used to, and it was a lot busier. Every chair was taken and a few boys were sitting in the waiting area waiting for their turn. Like everything else in the mall the salon was pink. Pink walls, pink and purple art—even the floor was mixed with pink and white checkered tiles. Compared to the dark and dingy barbershop, the salon was filled with light, as bright lights hung from the ceiling and smaller LED lights surrounded the huge mirrors that hung on the walls in front of each seat. Posters hanging on the wall featured various models displaying different styles of hair–all blonde and all with long hair. Other posters featured advertisements for various hair care products.
A young man was manning (or was it womanning?) the reception desk filing his nails. He looked up as he heard the sound of heels on the floor and a smile formed on his painted lips.
“Brittanie!” he squealed excitedly as he got up and rushed over to greet one of his regulars. He pulled Brittanie into a big hug.
“Hi, Charleigh,” Brittanie replied. “Biffanie called earlier… We’ve got an appointment, and it’s kind of an emergency one,” he explained, pointing towards Baylie.
“Of course,” Charleigh replied as he scurried back to his desk. “I did wonder since, like, you were only in on Wednesday.” He sat down, smoothing his skirt as he did so, and began clicking away. Peering at the screen, he nodded, looking up at the two boys.
“Sooo, it looks like Biffanie managed to get you booked in with Matilda…but, like, hei’s a little busy right now, so you’re going to have to wait a few minutes.”
“That’s fine,” Brittanie replied, turning around and leading Baylie to the waiting area where a couple of other bois were sitting. Charleigh returned to filing hys nails. Sitting down Brittanie immediately dug out hys phone and started tapping away leaving Baylie to observe the salon.
He sighed as he looked around wondering again how he had gotten into this situation. Everything here was just so…girly, even more so than back in his world. He was overwhelmed by how pink everything was and by the fact that nearly every boy in the salon was blonde. Speaking of boys, Baylie noticed that all the boys in the waiting area were glued to their phones, including Brittanie. It made him realize that he didn’t have a phone yet, and he wondered if would ever get one. With little else to do, Baylie glanced down at the coffee table in front of him.
A selection of magazines were spread about: People, Teen Vogue, Seventeen, Family Circle glared up at him as he realized that he probably wasn’t going to get anything remotely interesting to read and so instead he decided to do a little bit of research.
Picking up the copy of People, he glanced at the cover. Unlike the others, it at least looked familiar enough. Sarah’s mom Suzan often had a copy of People on her coffee table.
On the front cover there was a couple. Some celebrity couple that Baylie didn’t recognize. The woman was striding along purposefully in a fancy grey suit while her boyfriend clung on to her arm wearing a baby pink sleeveless top with a sweetheart neckline that, on a girl, would have shown off plenty of cleavage and a matching pink pleated skirt that fell just above his knees. Like all the boys in the salon, the boy had long, blonde hair.
Harrie Stellsdawt looks stunning as hei gazes lovingly into Ollin McAllister's eyes as they walk down the street, Baylie read as he glanced at the caption that accompanied the photo. There were other headlines surrounding the main photo.
Miss Rocky Goes Househusbenne! Rihan’s Pregnant
How to Look Good at 50: Mina Boldt Spills the Beans
Harrie Stellsdawt? Baylie asked himself as he stared at the photo. What kind of name is that? He looked at the boy in the photo closely. Despite the makeup and the blonde hair the face kind of looked familiar: after all, he had seen it plastered all over Sarah’s walls.
Harry Styles!? he wondered. He flicked through to the article, and sure enough, although there were some differences, Harrie was a sex icon that gurls(?) drooled over and bois wanted to be like hym. Yeah, that’s… He blinked as he read the article again. Not only were the names different, but the pronouns as well: boys were bois and girls were gurls. They were even pronounced a little differently, as hei finally realized hei had heard even just a few moments ago.
Harrie gushes as hei describes hys ideal wedding with hys gurlfriend Ollin and, of course, the perfect pink dress.
Baylie had enough. Hei threw the magazine onto the table, causing a few of the bois sitting near hym to look up briefly before returning to their phones. What kind of world was this? It was like everything subverted from women. Hei thought briefly about the Bible. Did that mean that Adam or Adama or whatever came from Eve’s rib? Hei shuddered at the thought.
“Baylie!” a voice called from one of the stations. A boi was waving hys hands and looking back toward the waiting room. Baylie and Brittanie got up and walked over to Matilda.
