And then it hit me, or at least burbled out of the thick mass my brains had become under the codeine. The bitch was taking advantage of me, like some dirty old man in nubile sheep's clothing.
Somehow I managed to keep sucking as I reached for the rock. Fortunately, she was distracted when I finally got my hand around it. Unfortunately, it was because she was cumming. In my mouth. Ew.
I managed to turn my head to the side as I vomited on the forest floor. As I finished, I managed to whisper "I wish I was sober."
The increase in clarity was brilliant and horrific. I knew what the thing was that sat against the pine, eyes closed and grinning. I was so stupid. Even when she thought the rock was fake, she'd said - right to my face - "I wish your tits were bigger."
Enraged, I stood up and kicked her as hard as I could in the head with the sole of my boot. She was too drunk and blissed out to see it coming, and she toppled, face down. She picked herself up and I could see pine needles sticking in the gooey blood running from her temple. "Wha?" she managed to blurt out, sniffing back another trickle of blood from her nose.
"Shut up." I said, surprised to hear my voice in complete monotone. "You want to act like some dirty old man? I wish the hormones in those new balls of yours would make it so you'd look like one some day: fat, bald, hairy and horny."
"Jonnie..." she sobbed, "I..."
"Fuck you. I wish you'd take a 20-minute nap."
I walked, shaking, to her car and mumbled "I wish this was my car."
I went around to the back of it, untaped the key from the inside of the bumper. Then I drove back to school to find Karyn, hindered only by the tears that kept blurring my vision.
