Today was the big test. No, not a math test or a vocab test, but rather the big test of if Sarrah McMillan could do it.
Adding makeup to her routine was one way of reclaiming who she had been, even if people would notice. And given that she was a Goth now, she figured she just might have the leeway to take the risk. Since it was an early release day and school got out at 12:30, she also didn't have to worry quite as much about her makeup getting ruined over the course of the day.
Sarrah checked her appearance in the mirror that was in the bathroom. That was another thing that she missed; before, she had a mirror on her desk, but now she had to use the one in the shared bathroom. Fortunately though, her brothers were at college so she was the only one using it, which meant no interruptions.
Satisfied, Sarrah gave a little nod to her reflection before she headed out to school. The makeup didn’t go with her clothes, a black baggy shirt and ripped jeans, but Sarrah didn’t care. She picked up her school bag and left the house. Her dad and mom were already out of the house doing whatever they did on a Friday, so she didn’t get any comments from them.
Sarrah got in her car and turned on the engine. She frowned, the radio was preset to some heavy metal radio station and was turned up very loudly. She fiddled with the dial until she found something that was a bit more to her liking. She didn’t recognize the song but it was very catchy and had an upbeat tune to it, which she liked.
By the time Sarrah pulled in to the school parking lot, she was humming along to the tune. As she turned off the engine, she realized that she’d probably have the tune in her head all day now. Shrugging her shoulders, she reached over for her bag and got out of the car.
A few people stared at her as she walked past on her way to her locker. Sarrah even noticed a few people whispering and pointing at her, but they stopped when they saw her looking, afraid of confrontation.
At least that hasn’t changed, Sarrah thought to herself as she walked down the corridors.
As Sarrah put her bag in her locker, she felt a pair of arms wrap around her shoulders and a kiss being placed on her cheek.
“I haven’t seen you in a while,” a male voice breathed.
Sarrah turned and her jaw dropped. Standing in front of her was a boy. Not just any boy, though: this boy was dressed up like a goth, just like her. He wore a dark purple gown and his black hair was tied up in a bun. He wore makeup as well, which by now Sarrah didn’t find surprising, but his makeup was dark: black lipstick, black eyeshadow. He was done up like some dark gothic prince.
“That’s the reaction that I like to get,” the boy said, winking at her. He reached in for a deep kiss and then pulled back suddenly when he spotted the makeup on Sarrah’s face. "Makeup?"
Oh no, Sarrah thought. She felt doomed. She had a boyfriend, who must have been sick or something because she hadn't seen him at all this week, and now this experiment was going to lose her one of her few friends? "I figured I'd try it," she fibbed. "I know sometimes girls like us look good with it."
"Well..." Sarrah awaited the boy's verdict with bated breath. "You do. Of course you do."
"Well, I have to get going to my first class... I'll see you later, OK?"
"Of course, love." The boy kissed her on the cheek. "Bye, Sarrah."
As Sarrah walked away and to her first class, she saw Jade Duncan again in the hallway. Just seeing that body made her mind swim with feelings. Besides the more typical "he's so hot" sorts of feelings every girl had about him were new and different ones: jealousy over how a geeky nerd had come to take her place in the school pecking order, an understanding of what that life is like, and some extremely Goth attitudes toward popular people. Bubbly, thin and shallow. Real boys wear black. Sarrah stopped for a moment. Did I just think that?
After a first period gym class where Sarrah was afraid someone would notice her makeup, along came second period chemistry class, and she was surprised to find that her boyfriend was there again. With the normal teacher, Ms. Jantzen, out sick, and not much time anyway, they spent time balancing chemical equations on worksheets—the perfect excuse to chat all period. As she looked around the room while the substitute teacher took roll, it was clear that he — apparently named Danielle Alyssa — was the most beautiful person in the room.
Old Sarah would have sneered at such a thought. But new Sarrah was starting to feel a bit more like she could carry on. Just a bit. And she didn't care what anyone but Danielle thought about her makeup.
