"So..." Jon started, plopping down at his usual spot with his usual two paper boat's of tater tots. "Did a lot of research on wishing last night," the dark circles under Jon's eyes being his alibi.
Karyn sat down, unwrapping her egg-salad, after dying to talk about the stone for four periods now. "Oh, do tell. Does this mean you're ready to use the stone again and maybe fix my problem?"
"Not exactly. This might surprise you, but most of them end up bad. Sometimes ironic and sometimes just downright cruel. But all bad. Even if it ends up good, there's a lot of bad in the middle. Like it's just the very nature of the magic to punish any man who thinks they're cunning or wise enough to make a wish."
"So you won't be wishing."
"I didn't say that either. We're definitely going to use it, just more responsibly," Jon garbled with a mouthful of tater. Swallowing and clearing his throat, "but I think it'd probably be better if we let someone else use it first, as a test."
"Jon," Karyn stared daggers. "You can't be serious. I get using lab rats but-"
"We won't be giving them a completely free wish... I want to word it so we get a chance to interpret the wish before it goes out to press. Be wish editors or wish interpreters in a way. That way we can nip anything to outrageous or world shattering before it even happens."
"And get to play evil genie in the meantime-"
"I guess technically we'd be doing that-"
"Oh Jon, you're so devious! I love the way you think!"
"You're starting to worry me Karyn."
"C'mon, you know Sarah definitely deserves an ironic punishment," Karyn beamed. "Can I do the honors?"
After talking through lunch and running through over a dozen iterations of the planned out wish, Jon and Karyn were back at his locker, ready to do the deed... er, wish.
"Okay, you've practiced this plenty. You got this." Jon deciding to trust Karyn with the narration and relying her experience as Witch #2 in the school play to get her lines right. The local paper still raved about it being the oddest version of the Scarlet Letter they had ever seen.
"Okay," Karyn inhaled, taking a deep breath. "I wish... that Jon and I would be able to grant and interpret any wish made by Sarah, sending us a phone alert of her wish and a short video showing the context of her wish. This will happen anytime she utters the phrase I wish. We will then be able to approve, deny, edit, or give instructions onto how the wish should be granted. This will happen once Jon and I agree on all the details otherwise the wish will not be granted. " Karyn breathed, full of relief at getting all the words out and right. And then compelled, "And I wish all the same applied to Biff too!"
"Karyn!"
"Sorry Jon, it's just... I saw him dump his protein drink on your head this morning and think you deserve a little catharsis too."
"But with just Sarah it was more controlled. We could see how the stone interprets things and twists our own interpretations of its interpretations. It was a perfectly closed system! Who knows what happens if two wishes interact!"
"Well Jon-boy, I think you might come around on this one. You know Biff has it coming."
"We all have it coming," Jon attempting his best Clint Eastwood interpretation. It wasn't great.
Karyn broke the silence. "Say, when is this supposed to start?"
"I'm not really sure. I mean, do they even know they have a wish?" Jon posed.
"You know, we didn't really make that clear."
"Do you think we should have made a McGuffin so they'd have something to blame the changes on?"
"I guess we could always add that in later- and oh-oh Jon-boy! It looks like we have our first bite at the apple!"
