“Listen, Joni. As a proud technogoth I like to believe that I stand firmly within the bounds of science and reason, and I just want to say I’m sad to see you falter to the dark side.” Jayne professed.
“Come to the dark side with us, Jayne. It’s freaky and badass.” Linda tossed an occult book at her, which she just as soon tossed back.
“A) I’m already plenty freaky and badass thank you and B) if I were to search you on your witch hunt I wouldn’t look in a book, I would use this new thing called the internet.”
“Any dumbass can put anything on the internet.” Christine chimed in.
“Books are the harbinger of truth and wisdom.” Beth agreed.
“Fine. Just to prove you wrong-” Jayne whipped open her laptop. “What’s the thing we’re looking for called again?”
“It’s a wishing stone. It’s called the Jewel of Cusco.” Joni explained.
“And let me get this straight one more time. According to your 10 year old brother, this magic wishing stone is real and he used it to transform all five of us. And you’re saying you, me, Beth and Christine all used to be boys, and that Linda used to be your mom?”
“Basically yep.” Joni nodded, eyes glued to the occult book in front of her.
“And why in the flying fuck would he want to turn his own mom into a sexy badass teenage goth queen?” Jayne hit Linda with a wink and a couple clicks.
“Thank you.” Linda gave her a thumbs up while continuing to search.
“I don’t think he did it on purpose. I think most of these changes just sort of snowballed out of control, or that’s what it sounds like at least.” Joni explained.
“Found it.” Beth said in an emotionless tone.
“I was gonna check that book next.” Christine commented.
“Aw you didn’t even let me boot up my computer.” Jayne chimed in.
“What does it say?” Joni asked.
“The Jewel of Cusco, is referred to historically as Munay Rumi and colloquially as the Wishing Stone. It is said to be capable of bringing true any wish that is vocalized while holding the stone, and can do so for infinitely many wishes of any kind. Local legends warn of its unbridled power, though, as wishes once said cannot be undone. As a result, the Incan empire was believed to have buried the stone deep within the earth beneath Machu Pichu, but some say the stone has already been unearthed and reburied several times throughout the centuries.” Beth and Christine read in unison.
“Didn’t need the surround sound, but thanks.” Joni scratched her chin. “Okay, well now we know to be careful about what we say if we do get our hands on it but we’re no close to finding it. Linda, what about that necklace you were talking about. If we can find out who took your magicproof amulet, maybe we can find the stone too.”
“Great but how do we find the amulet?” Jayne asked, assuming a defeated stance and letting her boobs rest on the table.
“Good news and bad news.” Beth and Christine chimed in unison.
“Good news is, we know who took the amulet.” Beth said.
“The uber-dumb one.” Christine clarified.
“She was wearing it at the Spiked Pit that night.” Beth continued.
“Come to think of it, she was acting really weird…” Christine noted.
“...right up until we ripped it off her.” Beth finished.
“What’s the bad news?” Linda asked.
“Bad news is cousin Lucy lost it.” Beth replied.
“She thought she lost it in the police station parking lot…”
“But she called us during passing period this morning.”
“No such luck.” The twins alternated.
“Well fuck.” Joni rubbed her temples. “If it’s not at the station maybe someone else got to it first. ”
“Okay but who?” Jayne asked.
