(First of all, BOY do I hope you guys understand that my tongue is firmly wedged in cheek for this episode. I was thinking about all the changes we make here...physical changes, mental changes...and how the recent Goth/Cheerleader threads seemed to tap into the fear of becoming a different person so effectivly. And I had this idea...and I'm putting it down...and I hope that nobody's offended. To me...this is as dark and scary a change as becoming a creepy Goth Punk or anything like that. If you need to know, not many of these opinions are mine. This post involved a lot of Googling for info. This was inspired by reading Tainted Sins amazing stories about loss of identity.)
Sarah had of course, never liked either Jon OR Karyn, and now that she had the magic stone, she had the perfect object with which to ruin their lives. But, most importantly...to ruin their friendship.
Holding it in her right hand, she first wished that she knew how the stone worked, then wished she in Karyns room. Then - hearing Karyn in her shower - she looked around for something to inspire her next wish. Something that would perfectly torture the poor girl, while also corrupt her friendship with Jon. She looked around at the books on Karyn's shelves first, noting a pattern of subject matter in her non-fiction reading. Then she saw Karyns computer, and logged onto the internet. After wishing she knew what Karyns passwords were, she checked her YouTube and Myspace sites. Soon enough...she had the information she needed.
She'd expected to make find something to inspire some sort of grotesque physical change...and she did. Not anything mundain like making her fat, black or crippled - any of which a girl like Karyn would eventually get used to. Rather, she decided to change her into something she really and truly would hate with every fiber of her being. Something that would ruin all her current friendships and taint her realtionships with all future aquaintences. Sarah chuckled, and she started mulling over the wording of the wish she was about to make. Finally, she started to speak the wish aloud, quietly but with sadistic glee.
As the wish unfolded - totally inverting the sort of person she was from surface to core - the favorites, subscriptions and videos on her YouTube page shifted drasticly, till none of them save a few were the same. The books on her shelves shifted as well, as did the settings and stations programmed into her radio...
Meanwhile, Karyn felt...odd. It had started in her head, a strange shiftng of opinions and ideals that would have horrorified her if she'd understood exactly what was different. She rubbed her temples and winced, then turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. She blinked, noting that the room seemed...fuzzy and slightly out of focus.
Well, that was normal enough...after all, she wasn't wearing her glasses.
Toweling off, she dried her hair before slipping on her rimless Kawasaki 704 Glasses and starting to fuss with her hair, blowing it dry before styling it into her traditional half-updo. Though she'd at first intended on just hanging out around the house all evening, she now knew she had someplace to be. A...meeting or something. It was VERY important, but for some reason...she couldn't remember exactly what it was...
Sarah wished that Karyn couldn't take any notice of her untill she wanted her to, then giggled as she watched her exit the bathroom, and look through her closet. The clothing selection was now limited in style, and very...conservative.
Karyn picked out her favorite red, 3-piece power suit, then slipped into her undergarments. Cotton bra, panties, girdle and plain hose were chosen, before touching up her make-up. It was utterly uncharacteristic of her, but she applied heavy foundation, with somewhat bronze blush to define her cheeks, light pink lipstick that looked almost like clear gloss, and shadow to bring out her eyes. Mascara was lite as well, and after slipping on her suit, she chose a gold chain with a bold cross, gold cross earrings, and finally mulled over her beloved selection of flag pins before choosing a gold one with the American flag in semi-precious stones. She slipped on the jacket, smiled at her reflection. She knew she'd wow them at the Christian Youth mixer the local Republicans were holding down at the church. She knew she'd had no intention to attend earlier - had not even considered it - but now, it seemed like the perfect place to meet a level-headed young Republican with whom she could have a meaningful discussion about shared interests. How the Communist, Left-Wing Jewocrocy was trying to destroy America for example. Maybe she should bring her autographed copy of "Treason" by Ann Coulter? She blushed as she remembered how she'd gushed like a schoolgirl at the book signing. Still, Ann had been so interesting, and she told her that "...the future of the Republican Party belonged to the next generation of young conservatives."
She plucked the book from the shelf, not imagining that it hadn't been there just a half an hour ago. Not imagining that her other precious books - such as Pat Robertson's "NEW WORLD ORDER", Rush Limbaugh's "The Way Things Ought to Be" and of course Michelle Malkin's sensible and well thought out "In Defense of Internment: The Case for 'Racial Profiling' in World War II and the War on Terror". She never guessed that any one of these books would have once made her skin crawl in disgust. Instead, they reminded her to check up on YouTube.
Sarah stepped aside as Karyn slid into the chair - lit a cigarette (she smoked two-packs a day, and knew in her heart that all that anti-smoking bunk was just a crazy, Hollywood-inspired plot to undermine the American Tobacco Industry) and checked her e-mail. She saw that Jon had sent her something. With a smile, she opened it...
Two minutes later, she closed the email with disgust, her cheeks flushed with outrage! Jon - her oldest and best friend - had sent her what could only be described as a hate package. A collection of links titled "I think you'll find this funny" that lead to (of all things!) those aweful SNL skits mocking Sarah Palin! What was that...that Liberal bastard THINKING sending her something like that? Jon and she'd been friends since childhood, but as the years went by, she'd grown-up in her tastes and opinions, while poor, clueless Jon just wallowed in his "Leftist-PETA-Gay Marrage-Anti-American" world where stupid dreamers like Al Gore or outright criminals and devients like Barny Frank and Ted Kennedy wallowed in their perversions and made a mockery of the sanctity of American family values. He NEW she didn't like that sort of...of...
She looked at her subscribed sites. Gone were "TheYoungTurks", "BarackObama.com" and "FREEDOMANDDEMOCRACY". Gone were all her Jon Stewart (Snearing, pandering JEW!) and Stephen Colbert (How DARE he mock a REAL AMERICAN like Bill O'Rielly?) faves, all replaced with interviews with all her beloved conservitive, Republican, Religious Right pundits and Blogs.
What...was happening to her?
Sarah suddenly appeared and said "And how are YOU feeling, Karyn?"
Karyn glared at her, accusing "What did you DO to me, Sarah?" in a voice she thought was her own, but which any listener would have mistaken for Sara Palin's nasal twang. Karyn now knew that this was the way she'd always spoken.
"Why, just gave you a new set of ideals and beliefs. So, I see you've recieved a little e-mail from that loathsome lefty Jon? What did the foe of the common man have to say, hmm?"
Karyn reached into her nightstand and drew out a small pistol she'd never dream of owning earlier today. But now, she knew in her heart that the right of all Americans to Bare Arms was the most sacred right of all. She was a lifelong member of the NRA now, owned a dozen hunting rifles all kept in the den downstairs (much to her parents dismay), and five handguns. She cocked the one she held - A .38 Special S&W; Centennial Airweight revolver with snag-free configuration and 2-inch barrel - and hissed "Well, you'd better just drop the stone, little missy. I don't need you fucking around with my head any more, thank you very much!"
Sarah - who'd wished for Karyn's incredibly rightwing mentality as a way to torture her - hadn't expected something quite like this, but she made the best of it and said "Oh, come on, Karyn. I already wished you wouldn't be able to hurt me before you got out of the shower."
Karyn - who'd once sworn she'd never take an innocent life, but was now an avid fan of both deer and duck hunting - actually tried to pull the trigger...but couldn't. Try though she might, she couldn't hurt Sarah.
Sarah smiled at Karyns frustration and inner turmoil, and started to leave the room.
"Wait!" Karyn said, her natural-sounding Alaskan drawl more obvious than ever. Sarah continued to leave, but said over her shoulder "Look, Karyn. You might as well accept that you're a solidly Right-Wing, Republican, Southern Baptist, conspiercy theory believing gun-nut with a blind love of Bush, Palin and FOX News. Just deal with it, honey. We both know that wished can't be un-wished, don't we?"
She laughed, then vanished after another wish, leaving Karyn to fume in silence. She looked at the clock, saw that she'd now be late for the church function she'd intended to go to...and made a phone call.
"Jon?"
"Uh, who is this?"
"It's me, Karyn."
Jon laughed "Oh man, you sound EXACTLY like Sara Palin! Did you watch those SNL skits I sent?"
Karyn was flattered by the comment, but angry again after thinking about the cruel, vicious attack on her favorite public figure. "Well, if you can just drag yourself away from trying to ruin the life of a REAL AMERICAN for a few minutes, Mister Jon Merlin, I have some information for you. Now, where's that undoubtedly Satanic wishing stone you were fooling around with earlier, hmmm?"
This was odd. "Uh, it's under my pillow...right...uh-oh."
"Uh-Oh? Yeah, we've got a real uh-oh situation here, little mister..." Karyn hissed, sounding like some sneering teacher as she lectured a child for pissing his pants "...and don't you doubt that for a minute. Now, you stay right there, Jonny. I'm going to drive over and we're going to work out some way to stop Sarah. That cheerleading witch has your stone and she's already made...well, some changes in me. Not bad ones, granted. In fact, I'm glad she did what she did. I was a mess, Jon. Now I'm a much better person. Now, don't go anywhere. I'll be right there."
Jon started to ask another question, and Karyn hung-up quickly. She didn't want to put up with his whining, Leftist blather about farm communes or whatever he was about to start going on about. This was a serious situation, and it needed serious, Republican answers!
As she always did before heading into danger, she took her large, well-read Bible from the nightstand where she'd had her handgun, and prayed for guidance. She prayed hard, hands clasped before her, as she imagined poor, put-upon George W. Bush must have prayed before going to war...twice. When she was done, she slipped her cigarettes and her .38 into her purse, checked her appearance in the mirror, and snuck out of the house without telling her parents. After all, they'd both been druggie, hippie fuck-ups in their youth, and she knew she couldn't count on THEM for help. She hoped that years from now - when she herself was running for office on the Republican ticket - her parents would respect her enough to not vote against her, as they were intending to vote against McCain.
Another pause, and the old Karyn resurfaced enough to try to fight her new thoughts. That BITCH! How could she have done this to her?
"Karyn?"
She turned and saw her mother...and felt her cheeks flush with shame at her new opinions. Still...
"Mom, I've got to get going. Please don't drone on about marijuana or orgies and solar power, or whatever you dismal, backwards ex-hippies talk about, okay? This is important."
Karyn wanted to stop the words from spilling out, but they came anyway. The stricken look on her mothers face was bad...but worse was the fact that she meant every word.
Karyn's mother blinked back tears, but still smiled. "You're so...forceful, Karyn. I don't agree with your opinions...but I respect your right to them. I just...wanted to say that I love you...that we both love you."
Karyn stopped, then turned back and hugged her mother. She too blinked back tears, and tried to focus on the idea that respect for your parents should be a Christian virtue. Doing so allowed her to gasped "I'm sorry I said that, mom. It's just...a really strange time for me."
She broke off, and went out to the drive way...where her gas-guzzling American made SUV was parked, the bumpers festooned with rightwing bumper stickers. She slid behind the wheel, turned on the radio to listen to Limbaugh while she drove, lit another cigarette, and tried to plan out what to do. As she drove, she listened to Sara Palin giving a speech about the "Real America" and accepted every word as pure genius. She was such a transcendental figure. Such an inspiring leader. Quietly, she said a quick prayer for McCain's victory...and quick demise in office. She had no shame in saying this prayer, as it would result in a Palin presidency...and that was what she wanted more than anything else in the world!
Well, that...and to stop Sarah McMillan.
