I ate dinner in my room, making some excuse about homework, and practically collapsed into my bed. It was so awkward to be around mom and Zoe like this. There was this barrier of shame and clumsiness that stood between any authentic interaction. They weren't seeing the real me, or... maybe I wasn't. Gah. I couldn't tell. It didn't change that I felt like I would be found out at any moment, like they'd catch the truth in the corner of their eye and regard me with fear and distrust. I felt like I was lying to them. The voice they saw wasn't the one I heard, it was the one I wanted them to hear. The face they saw was what I wanted, but not who I was anymore. My mind reeled, and for the hundredth time this night, I felt the desperate urge to fix this, I just didn't know how. I rolled onto my stomach, trying to hide away from the world, but it's hard to run away when the thing you really want to escape is your own body. The mattress pressed into my chest in unfamiliar ways, and I groaned into my pillow. The sound only served to heighten my discomfort. I had asked Karyn to come over so we could maybe figure out how to make the stone... stones... whatever, work again, but the real reason I wanted her around is because I had no clue what I'd spiral into when left by myself.
Well... I was quickly learning exactly what I'd spiral into. Anxiety. Depression, and a desperately frustrated and confused arousal. I was never one for narcissistic predilections. If anything I was a bit self loathing, but FUCK. I was hot. God I knew it. I knew how hot I was. If I were me, and what I am wasn't me, that me would drive me me crazy... or something. The way I moved was just so smooth and graceful. My body was toned in all the right places, but soft were it called for attention, and my voice... I groaned again, just to hear the sound of it. Self Consciousness be damned, I loved the sound of that growl. The problem was, I had no clue what to do. If I were a guy, I'd snap one out, doze in the afterglow and get on with it, but this body? I was as afraid of it, as I was confused by it... But why? why should I be afraid of it? For some reason, I felt like I was cheating... but cheating on who? Karyn? We were just friends right? And even if it's a 'female' body, it's not another woman... right? I traced a curious hand down my tummy to deeper below... but... nothing. It was like fondling my flaccid junk. I did feel something. A boyish excitement, a curiosity, a strange anticipation. I'd seen porn, but I'd never really gone this far before. But physiologically speaking, I may as well have been massaging a stress ball. Why? I just wanted to knock some stress off, so why was this stupid body being so difficult?
I rolled back over onto my back, and took off my headband with a sigh. I should probably lock the door, and close the blinds, but I just couldn't be bothered. I fell asleep, boxers tight around my hips, and cropped top hiding my... well, this bodies tits.
I had walked as far as the border of the school, but had veered off to the side, rather than going to the main entrance. My heart was pounding in my chest. There was just no way I could go through the front entrance in this body.
"Where r u?" I texted Karyn, for the 12th time this morning.
"omw, chill." The text fired back almost immediately.
I crossed my arm, and peaked around the corner to the side entrance. I'm sure I'd been spotted, but I couldn't face the full brunt of the school, not yet.
I spent much of my morning searching for clothes that fit me. Shirts were easy enough. Jeans were harder. To put it bluntly, nothing fit. I could wiggle them around my hips, but they were far to long and baggy everywhere else. I'd settled for grey pair of sweats that were comfortable enough. Shoes were actually fairly easy to resolve. I just wore my old shoes from middle school. Sure, the big racing swipes on them were kind of corny for someone my age, but I could lace them up tightly enough that I didn't feel clumsy walking around.
"I thought I'd find you around here." a voice called out.
"Karyn" I sighed, turned to face her, then gasped at the woman before me. "What happened to you?" I stammered.
The woman before me... Well, she was identical to last night, but she exuded a confidence she'd never had before. She stood contrapposto, and tossed her hair over her shoulders effortlessly.
"I was up late, figuring out how these powers work," She explained. "Turns out my wish from yesterday morning is still in play, so I figured I'd give myself an upgrade." She smirked. "What do you think?" She twirled around gracefully, then posed.
"I mean... You look great..." I stated flatly, then my tone turned eager as I asked, "But, what do you mean your wish from yesterday morning is still in play?"
"I won't get your hopes up. The last wish is locked in." She stated with a chilly tone, "~but, my wish to be more attractive? I practiced dancing last night, and that magic responded."
"So... Your tits are even bigger?" I asked flatly, turning my gaze a little down.
She huffed. "No, you smurf, the part about getting attention." She smiled and preened. "My poise, and grace." She struck a delicate pose to illustrate what she meant, only for it to warp into her usual awkward posture. "I've honestly never felt so... pretty. I just feel confident, and unbothered." She gave me her usual goofy smile and shrugged, but I couldn't share in her enjoyment.
"Good for you." I retorted. "Well, I feel like a troglodyte."
"Stop being so dramatic." She snapped. "You look good, you should try enjoying it instead of complaining."
Before I could respond, the second bell rang. Karyn sighed. "We're late for first period." She stated, then turned toward the door.
"Karyn!" I called out.
"What?" She replied sharply.
"Can't we just skip school and try to figure this out. I mean our lives have just been turned upside down."
"It's not like it'll change anything if we talk about this before or after school." She argued. "I'm not about to ruin my perfect attendance, just because you're feeling awkward. Welcome to every day being a girl in highschool."
I flustered but hurried along behind her. We passed the threshold of the school into a silent hall, and went our separate ways. I couldn't help but feel that our conversation had gone exactly wrong, but whatever trepidation I had, it was quickly buried by the experience of walking in class late as a blue chick in oversized boys clothes.
All eyes were on me, and I nervously glanced from face to face to see if any of the expressions showed more than the usual amount of attention. To my relief only bored disinterest greeted me.
"Well, Jon, are you going to take your seat?" My English professor asked.
Nodding, I adjusted the headband, and settled into my desk. I took a deep breath. I could do this. No one could see through my glamour. Just relax.
School was pretty normal, and normal was good, it wasn't until Sarah passed me in the hall that my attention was elevated. There was something about her that stood out. A glow that only now made sense to my third eye. Reality literally radiated around her. It was a sensation that I realized I'd always kind of felt, but never understood. Sarah glowed with magic. It wasn't bright, not like the Varricks, and NOTHING like the dancers in hidden valley, but it was still noticeable. I could see her, and to my shock, she looked to me as well.
Her brow furrowed as she examined me for a moment, held back a laugh, then took on a mocking smirk and tittered. "lashes on fleek babygirl. Do them yourself?"
My cheeks flushed red... Or maybe purple or dark blue. I was bundled up in a mix of shame, and fear. Did she see through my glamour? Or... maybe just a little bit? She didn't react like I was a Disney genie, just, like I was wearing makeup. I scowled, and grumbled. At least lunch would be here soon.
"I cannot believe how good todays going." Karyn coo'd "I mean, I feel like I'm on top of the world, really."
I rested my forehead in my hand, slouched over my lunch tray, as Karyn regaled me with the story of her perfect day.
"People literally part the hallways when I walk by, like I'm some celebrity!" She laughed. "I mean, I've never been one for attention, but that felt pretty good. Like I'm the new queen bitch here."
"Speaking of." I interjected her story. "I think Sarah has something magical going on."
"Yeah, I saw, but she's like a glow worm compared to me. Just a grub on a rock. Moth's flock to a flame, but baby I'm the sun."
"Oh my god." I laughed. "That's too much, even for whatever act this is."
She fell back into her usual awkward laughs along side me, but it was different. A little softer, and a little shorter.
"Don't you think you're enjoying this a little too much?" I asked.
"Not at all." She quipped. "I'm enjoying being me for the first time in my life." She insisted.
"What? Don't be ridiculous. You've always been really confident in yourself." I assured her.
She scowled. "Maybe it seemed that way to you, but that's because of how much work I had to put into it... And... well..." She shrugged. "You're unthreatening."
"Ouch" I stated with a flat emphasis.
"It's true! That's not a bad thing, you're comfortable to be around." She insisted, but looked away awkwardly.
I wanted to press her on her bullshit, but didn't have the will in me to call her out. Besides, something caught my eye and distracted me. As she had turned her head, the sunlight caught a glimmer of gold atop the red and black stone.
"What's that?" I asked, sitting up and pointing to her forehead.
"What?" Her hands went to her forehead. "It's called a bindi." She explained wryly. "Something about third eyes, and Vedic mythology."
"Not that, you dork, on top of it. Something gold."
She pulled out her phone, and looked. I leaned in closer too.
Growing atop the red stone was what I could only describe as tiny gold flower in bloom. Like a metallic ornament, or piece of forehead jewelry. It was very small and subtle, but it's shape reminded me of...
"A lotus." Karyn stated. "It's a gold lotus."
"Why'd you put a gold lotus on your forehead."
"I didn't!" She insisted. "It... must have just grown there..."
As much as I wanted to reject the idea, I quickly realized she was right. The same magic that tied her to the stone, had begun to bloom and adorn her with this new little addition. My mind quickly flitted to the great spirit, and the many dancers covered in raiment of precious metals. Maybe that wasn't just jewelry to them, but something more... Maybe Karyn's magical experiments were having a strange effect, or maybe something was still leaking out of the stone?
"I kind of like it." She stated with a smile.
"I'm... not so sure." A long scowl drew across my face, as I plucked nervously at my own stone, grateful to find no new addition. "We don't know what it's doing, or why it's there."
"Again, with the constant worrying." She sighed.
"Yeah!" I hissed. "Look what happened last time! Of course I'm going to worry!"
She didn't meet my eyes, then sharply turned her nose up at me. "I don't know. You keep complaining, but I think things have turned out just fine. We have magical friggan power, sweetheart." She teased, just like Sarah. My mood curdled. "That's not hard to deal with."
"Is one of those power narcissism?" I snapped. "Because you definitely got that one."
She didn't even react, until a faint scowl flickered across her lips, and her brow furrowed sympathetically. "Whatever." She suddenly declared. "You can wallow in your pity party, but I'm enjoying myself. When you feel like growing up, we can talk."
"Karyn..." I pleaded. "I didn't mean..." The words caught in my throat. I definitely did mean it, I just didn't want her to go. It's like my best friend was going crazy in front of my eyes, and all I could do was put my foot in my mouth. "Can we hang out after school?" I sighed.
She crossed her arms. "I mean... don't we always?" She replied, but her tone was non committal. Before I could follow up, she turned and walked away.
I watched her go as a heavy weight grew in my stomach.
