"I wish..." Jon began, "that tomorrow morning, Karyn would wake up with all her memories as they are when she falls asleep tonight, but would be madly in love with me, and 100% heterosexual without one shred of interest in women and with complete immunity to the effects of lesbian powder herself, and will remain that way until she decides she truly wants to stay that way forever and until I fall in love with her in return, and only then after both those conditions are cleared, will the love spell be broken or will she return to her original sexuality. 2nd wish. I wish that tomorrow morning, I will wake up with all my memories as they are when I fall asleep tonight, but my sexual orientation will be entirely asexual, with absolutely no sexual interest in men or women, and will remain that way for the rest of my life with no chance of it being undone or modified by a wish. 3rd wish. I wish that Karyn will never ever be able to get within 5 feet of the stone ever again, or to tell anyone else about the stone or to influence them in any way to make a wish on her behalf. 4th wish. I wish that henceforth, I will be 100% immune to the effects of lesbian powder, that it will not change me physically or mentally in any way, temporarily or permanently. There. That should be a challenge, don't you think Karyn?"
Karyn blinked and tried to comprehend the first two incredibly not just destructive, but apparently self-destructive, wishes.
"Why, would you do that," Karyn began in exasperation. "Not just to me, but to yourself?!"
"Simple, Karyn. Because you ruined women for me. You and my mother. I don't like them, I don't want to be attracted to them, and I certainly don't want to be one, contrary to your self-centered inane plans. But I don't want to be gay. Just because I hate women, doesn't mean I want to fuck men, or want to want to fuck men as some sort of alternative. So what else is there?"
Karyn stood statue still, as Jon approached and briefly halted as he realized his right hand was holding the stone and seemed to hit a force field of some sort. It was because the stone couldn’t get within 5 feet of Karyn. He patronizingly clapped her right shoulder in mock rough affection with his left hand as he started walking off.
"Be ready for tomorrow, Karyn. Tomorrow's a big day for you. You've got a lot on your plate. And don't forget, as much as I hate you now, it'll be even harder for you to win me over if I don't have a shred of interest in sleeping with you. See how much you like the one you love being cold and uncaring and not wanting you back, not thinking you’re worthy. And that's only half of your troubles."
"But it's impossible!" Karyn protested. "How am I supposed to get you to fall in love with me if you're asexual!"
Jon stopped in his tracks to say, "I said love, not lust, Karyn. Let me tell you about Smokey. My cat. I don't know if you remember him, maybe I never had him in the alternate timeline you remember. But I loved... love, that cat. Present tense, love. I will love him always. I won't stop loving him, just because he succumbed to cancer. And I certainly didn't have sex with him. So you see Karyn, love and sex are separate things after all. It was possible for Smokey to win my love without me wanting to fuck him, so it's not impossible. Probably impossible for you, but not impossible in general. Be sure to get a good night's sleep tonight. Got a big day tomorrow, Karyn."
Jon continued walking out of the room and then left the house.
