Jon exited the shop quietly, seemingly almost in the daze. He did not pay much attention to where he was going and just let his legs carry him in whatever direction they wanted to. The meeting with his potential teacher was entirely not like he expected. But he supposed that this was true nature of life - nothing is quite like you hope it to be. Jon figured that it was bit naive for him to believe that he would get to learn magic simply because he wished for it. It was a naive thought that was born from belief that the stone in his possession could do anything. It was wrong. Everything had a price. His desire to learn magic was no different.
For just a moment Jon considered taking out a stone right here and using it to fix the situation, to force life go in the direction he so desired, without paying any price for it. But he stopped himself. If he did that he would be no different from bullies or criminals that would do anything just to get what they wanted, consequences be damned. And he did not want to be that kind of person. One of reasons why he did not want to use the stone at all initially was exactly because he did not want to be that kind of person. Only after a night of silent contemplation did he realize that stone opened doors for him to change his life for the better. However he never thought about the price of doing that. And now he was forced to see just what kind of price was required to fulfill his seemingly innocent desire to simply learn magic.
He could learn magic if he became woman.
Jon thought about it seriously. He remembered well last night that one of the thoughts circling around his head was to become a girl. Temporary, of course. But the thought was there. How could it not be, really? He honestly thought that any man would at very least be curious to try out living as fair sex for a bit. But the change he was contemplating about going through was not going to be temporary. It was going to be permanent change. Jon doubted it would be as simple as shifting few chromosomes around either. Helia did not mention if he would need to make new identity or anything along those lines. She also did not seem to be kind of person who would forget such important details. So he figured the change was much more involved than simple body change. Meaning it was reality-wide change. Like using a wishing stone. It was, after all, not that unlikely that powerful magic users could do things wishing stone could do. The wishing stone probably was made by some powerful mages in the past. So it would be obvious conclusion that someone who could make stone that changed reality could also change reality too.
This realization brought his thoughts back to ritual Helia mentioned. What would really change if he became a girl? Would his way of thinking change? Would he start to like boys, or would he still like girls? Would he still at core be same person or would becoming woman change something fundamental about him? Jon realized that he could not answer any of those questions. As such he decided he needed to look at this from another point of view. What did his manhood mean to him? Well, obviously since he was a guy he liked girls. But apart from that, what did it mean? Women could do all the things men could do. Even better sometimes. So it did not mean that he would have to give up any of his likes or interests if he became a girl. Men could not get pregnant, but girls could. But that did not mean that he would ever would like to get pregnant if he became girl. He was pretty sure plenty of women decided to be single for their whole life. Men were physicaly stronger, but it did not mean much. Hell, Karyn was more sporty than he was. So in the end - were there really that many differences? Certainly, there were a few, but not enough to mean that much.
Meaning that he did not have much of a reason to not become woman.
After figuring that out Jon decided to think on what the change could mean to him personally. Certainly, not much would change in his family if he was a girl. He likely still would have siblings. Both of his parents still would have jobs. He wondered if he was girl if his parents would be less distant from him, but he could not come up with answer. Moving on from family to friendships brought his thoughts to Karyn. Would they still be friends? He figured that yes - they would. They met when they were really little and were same age - their birthdays were only few months apart too. Karyn was always rather friendly and outgoing, though she did not have that many friends. According to her she would rather have a few really close friends than dozens of acquaintances. And they were best friends. It was a bond forged through childhood adventures, pranks, standing up for each other against bullies and various precious memories. Being friends with Karyn was a thing that Jon really treasured and he trusted Karyn fully, just as she trusted him. He believed that not even magic could truly change that.
Jon let out a deep breath, blinking a bit as he found himself just outside the mall, in nearby small park. He walked to one of many empty benches nearby and sat down, leaning back and looking at the sky. God, he really was considering it, wasn't he? He already figured out that becoming woman would not change too much for him personally. Or at the very least he hoped it would not. He decided he will ask Helia some questions and if change meant he would lose Karyn's friendship, then he will refuse. No kind of magic was worth losing a friend like that. He hoped Karyn also shared similar sentiment. He honestly did.
He removed his gaze from sky and looked forward. He blinked in slight surprise as he saw Karyn walking out of the mall and looking around as if searching for something. He decided to get her attention "Karyn!" he shouted a bit and waved at her from his spot. She blinked, but with a smile walked towards him.
"Hey, Jon-boy. Taking in some fresh air?" she asked with a smile.
Jon smiled a bit "Something like that. How was arcade?"
Karyn shrugged "I stood in line for a bit, but then gave up. Figured it would be no fun if we both can't play. I actually spent some time looking for you. I tried to text you but you did not write back." she seemed bit worried which made Jon touched. He took his phone out of a pocket, noticing that it was dead.
"Battery must have went out. I am sorry I worried you." Jon said.
Karyn smiled slightly "It is no big problem. Though you owe me a round in arcade for all the running around in mall I did~" she winked at him and he chuckled.
"Fair enough." he simply said and looked at the sky again for a bit.
Karyn noticed the weird mood and sat next to him, leaning back as well and looking up at bright blue sky. It was still only around 3pm. Few moments were passed in silence as Karyn finally broke it "Is anything wrong? You look a bit... dunno. Out of there?" she said.
Jon hummed a bit "Well, I was given a lot of food for thought today..." he said, pausing. Karyn remained silent, not pushing. She always was pretty considerate. He knew that she would not push him to talk about whatever bothered him until he was ready. She would support him until he would be. But he decided he wanted to share. At least partly. "If you were given an option to learn something super amazing, something that would change your life, but you would need to pay a price that would force on you some really unpredictable results that may ruin your life - would you do it?" he asked her softly.
Karyn contemplated the question for a bit "If it is at a cost of another life or important bond - no. But I guess if it is unpredictable then you would not really know what would happen, right?" she said after a bit "In the end, it would be a risk. Everything in life is a risk. Sometimes we have to take a leap of faith and take the risk." she paused "I would say that if I believed strongly that what is truly important to me would survive the price I am forced to pay, I would take the risk." she said and looked at Jon "I would guess that whatever this is about you don't want to share now. But know that no matter what decision you make I will always be there for you." she stretched out her fist for a bump. "Best friends forever, right?" she said with a smirk.
Jon looked at Karyn and slowly a grin stretched on his face. He remembered the childish fist-bumping greeting they had. He also remembered the very first time they did it. And the promise that came with it. He stretched out his own hand, making a fist and giving Karyn's fist a little bump "Best friends forever" he confirmed with his own smirk. "Thank you, Karyn." he said seriously. The smile that stretched on his friend's face made him think that no matter what he will choose - everything will be alright.
"You are welcome."
A few minutes later, after parting ways with Karyn, Jon made his way through the mall again. Only this time he walked with a purpose - his destination just a bit ahead as he could already see the sign proclaiming 'Spellbound Oddities'. He glanced at the sign which proclaimed that the shop was open and opened the door, walking in. Again he was once more surrounded by hundreds of various oddities, trinkets and other kinds of things, only this time he could see Helia leaning on the counter, flipping through a book. She raised her head towards his direction, her eyes flashing with a bit of surprise which got quickly replaced with a hopeful look and then masked behind a neutral look. She smiled pleasantly "Welcome back, Jon. I will admit I did not expect you so soon. Did you come back to ask for something, or?..." she seemed to study him for a few moments, as if hoping to figure out the purpose of his visit.
Jon took a deep breath and met Helia's gaze with a firm gaze of his own. "I have made my decision."
