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2. Jon meets god

1. You Are What You Wish

Jon meets god. What's with that 4th wall over there?

on 2017-06-22 05:44:37

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As he was considering what to do to help Karyn undo her careless wish earlier, Jon realized that he could potentially learn the secrets of the universe. He picked up the stone, and said:

"I wish I knew if there was a god."

Suddenly Jon knew. There was not just one, but a whole troupe of gods. Beings, far off, in another realm of existence, who literally forged his very universe, willing it into existence with mere words. Jon knew then that there were different versions of his reality, that history split into multiple branches, each one in the domain of its own god. Sometimes one god would become indifferent to that universe and another would take over where that one left off. Sometimes the earlier god would return after a different one took charge for a while. And sometimes, ffft, end of universe, the god would lose interest, no others would become interested in continuing that universe's existence, and that would be the moment that entire universe ended, for apparently each universe needed a continuing stream of new magic words for its clock to keep ticking, otherwise time came to an end and all life in that entire universe was essentially snuffed out of existence.

"I wish I knew about these alternate universes," Jon asked of the stone. And so he did. There were alternate universes where he was in love with Karyn, where Karyn was in love with him, where she was a lesbian, where Jon or Karyn were physically transformed into such things as superheroes, or cats or dogs or anthropomorphic furries, there were a SHIT-ton of alternate universes where Jon got turned into a girl. Boy were there a lot of those, that was definitely a recurring theme, perhaps the most common one. There was even a universe where a mistaken wish with the stone got Karyn turned into Jon's penis, and another where he wished to be shrunk down and used as a sex toy by his mother, there were many others where he was a megalomaniacal psychopath who enjoyed torturing and humiliating Karyn. And in a sort of perverse game of social approval, for their enjoyment, these gods would actually rate each others' universes on a scale from 1 to 10. "Those sick bastards!" Jon said in disgust. It was almost as if Jon was trapped inside of some sort of choose your own adventure story, and these gods were just random writers for it, and most of them were writers of very limited talent at that. Jon reasoned that the vast majority of these gods were probably very strange people who should get out more.

"I wish for the ability to communicate with these gods," Jon asked the stone.

The stone did something he hadn't seen it do before. It flickered in light, as little electric arcs flittered about its surface.

"Hello?" Jon said to the air.

The electric arcs skittering about the surface of the stone intensified.

"Hello, is anyone listening?" he asked.

He reached for the stone and it zapped him with a shock of electricity.

"Ow!" he yelled.

But he couldn't stand idly by, while the stone freaked out, leaving him to be more worried about whether his entire reality was about to fall apart. He needed to know what was happening. Was this beyond the power of the stone? Was communicating with the gods taboo? Was breaking this fourth wall between himself and the god of his own universe another of the limitations, like undoing wishes?

Jon grabbed hold of the stone and endured the pain, just long enough to wish:

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