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2. Jon figures it out. Also, KITT

1. You Are What You Wish

Jon figures it out. Also, KITTIES!

on 2017-05-20 20:31:20

2187 hits, 58 views, 3 upvotes.

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Jon called Karyn.

"Hi Karyn, I know how to fix your problem."

"Really?" she answered.

"Yeah, I just wanted to tell you first so you didn't freak out."

"Ok, what's the plan?" she asked.

"Ok, so I wished to hear your exact words, and what you said was 'I wish I had long blonde hair and big boobs and maybe then I'd get some of the attention.'"


"I'm going to specify that what you want is for you to have a set of severed human body parts in bottles of formaldehyde."

"Huh? What?"

"Hear me out. You said you wish you HAD long blonde hair and big boobs and maybe you'd get some attention. You didn't ask for that hair to be on your head, or for the boobs to be on your chest. Only that you HAD them. For them to be in your possession. Thus, you can be the proud new owner of some parts like that in jars, like in a mad scientist's house. And certainly that would be ATTENTION getting, so that would completely satisfy the condition of the wish in every way."

"Oh yeah, I guess so. All right. That's an interesting idea."

"All right, so I'm going to make the wish right now." Jon picked up the stone. "I wish that Karyn's earlier wish, was that she wished she had biological specimens in bottles of formaldehyde of breasts and long blonde hair, not that such parts would be part of her body, and that her body itself would remain unchanged by this stone's power."

A moment of silence over the phone line. "It worked! I'm back to normal! And there are the jars. Oh, they're creepy as hell. Hey Jon, want a boob in a jar?" she giggled. "Or a human scalp with long blonde hair? What should we do with them?"

"I don't know, throw them out if you want, let it be a bad memory, that's my suggestion."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," she replied. "That was a pretty clever plan. Do you have any other ideas for the stone?"

"I think we should always specify a time limit. And then there are pretty much no consequences."

"That's probably a safe plan."

"Want to have some fun right now?"

"MAYBE. What do you have in mind?"

"Ok," Jon said. "I wish that for the next four hours, Karyn would turn into a housecat, but she would retain her memories and human intellect."

"Wait a minute in a few minutes my parents are expecting me to go downstairs for dinneow! Meow! Mereeow?? Heoorraweow!!!!"

"Oh no, I didn't mean to cause you trouble! Now that I think about it, 4 hours was kind of long, I didn't think about you having to interact with your family, I just wanted you to be normal by morning."

"I haw... I sssorow yooou. ssforize youuu..."

"You forgive me?"


"I'm still sorry," Jon said.

"Soohay Soohkay," she said. "I'll wherrkk soorsssin soormmssthin ouwwwtt, I'll worrk somethinnng outt.."

"WOW!" Jon said. "You're getting GOOD at that FAST. Though your voice so SO high now."

"Its funn youu shhoulld trieee itt."

"You know, I think that your parents will probably think you have just been always a cat because that's how the stone works, so you can probably just go to dinner like normal."

"We'll see," she said. In a very high voice but one which no one would guess was spoken by a cat.

"That's just damn impressive," Jon said.

"She sells sea shells by the sea shore," Karyn said. Her voice was SO cute.

"Wow. Actually that just makes me wonder why you were stuck meowing at all at first."

"I wasn't thinking about how to speak right, but once I figured it out, it was easy. It's hard to explain. Try it yourself and you'll understand. The really weird thing is what happened to my room. It's like what you'd expect of a bedroom of an intelligent cat. It's like cat furniture paradise in here. Towers going every which way, scratching posts, swinging strings, a fluffy hanging boa, the doorknob the door in my room has two doorknobs, one of which is 1 foot above the ground, and I also have a pet door. And I still have a computer but it has an extra large keyboard."

"It sounds like you have a fun evening ahead of you."

"I'll tell you how it goes. You try it too though."

"You know what? It's only fair. I wish for the next four hours, I would turn into a housecat, and retain my memories and human intellect."

"Good bye Jon," Karyn said in her sweet voice.

"Meow," said Jon.

Karyn laughed at that. "I'm sure you'll figure it out too."

2 hours later, Jon's doorbell rang. His own house had changed when he turned himself into a cat and there was a pet door in his own front door. Karyn went through it.

"Karyn, is that you?" Jon said, never having seen her.

"Of course. Would any other cat ring the doorbell first? It wasn't easy either, the button was like 4 feet up, and over a bush with sharp leaves."

"Oh my god, you're beautiful!"

She couldn't quite blush as she was. But she was a tuxedo cat, with a white triangle of puffy fur on her chest, and just a few white hairs on her face, plus her whiskers were white. Her eyes were entrancing, a mixture of swirls of yellow and green. All four paws were white at just the tips.

"You're not so bad yourself," she said. He was similarly colored, but with gray instead of white, his whole belly was white, and his face was half white half gray. She touched noses with him.

His heart beat even faster than it already was, which was very fast by human standards. "What, is that smell," he said.

"It's probably because I'm in heat," she said, rubbing her head against him.

"Karyn, this is, getting, dangerous, oh god, I can't, and we're already both naked, oh god Karyn, please forgive me," Jon said.

"Do it Jon! Do it!" she said, exposing he rear to him and lifting her tail.

The last two hours of their feline experience were of course the most fun of all. They decided to stay boyfriend and girlfriend after they turned back.

3 months later.

"Push, Karyn, push!" Jon was encouraging her on.

"It's not really very painful Jon, they're not very big. The contractions themselves are painful within certain limits, but I have a pretty high threshold I think. This is actually kind of fun. Oh, here comes another one. Ahhhhh... it actually feels kind of like having a satisfying dump."

She had given birth to 14 kittens so far. Jon wondered how many were left in her. It took only a little careful uses of the stone to not get her family to crucify Jon for getting their daughter pregnant, to make them not find anything odd about the fact that she was pregnant with kittens and that after 2 months, she looked like she was 6 months pregnant. Now, at 3 months, she had looked like she was 9 months pregnant. But how many 2 ounce kittens does it take to take up the same volume as an 6 to 9 pound baby?

Her parents, Jon, and Jon's mom were all standing around her, tending to the kittens, washing them off, and giving them a little bottle with formula to suck on. They were all gray and white, or black and white. They were all very beautiful little kitties.

"They're as pretty as their mommy," Jon said.

"Give yourself some credit Jon, they take after their daddy too, who happens to be a very handsome cat as well."

"I wonder if they'll be intelligent and talk when they grow up," Jon asked. "Can you say mommy, little one?" he jokingly asked one of the kittens. "Mommy? MMooommmmmy?"

"Mommy!" the kitten said. "Mommy!"

"Holy shit!" Jon said.

"They're geniuses!" Karyn said. "Aaahhh, there's number 15. That feels really nice."

"Oh my god, I think the days ahead are going to be even weirder than so far," Jon said.

"You're giving birth to the next litter, Jon," Karyn said with a smirk.

"Me? But then, but, don't we have enough already?" he said apprehensively.

"I'm just joking," she said back. "Maybe."

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