I rated your most recent episode a 4.
Your appeals here gave me the impression that you wanted more nuanced criticism, so I've been paying your posts some attention. The reason I rated that episode a 4 is because it was very heavy on exposition, and very light on content. Lots of words, little action. The entire branch could have been the wish and a stunned reaction to the result, but it dragged on for 8 paragraphs (ignoring the one-line paragraphs) of in depth-analysis on a crisis that you haven't developed at all yet.
Yes, yes, world is being destroyed, and Jon can't stop it. This is all well and good. But that's your maguffen, it's not your story. The story is how people react. And "I have to find out what can technically work and what can't" isn't a reaction, that's an establishment of ground rules.
This one chapter should have been split into three or four, where each attempt to understand and/or stop the maguffen was explored. Jon can have an internal crisis where he tries to comprehend what's going on. He can talk to Karyn and have his panic bounce off of hers. He can try to go through his day knowing what he knows, in a population blissfully ignorant, constantly in shock at said ignorance despite knowing that he was the same way just hours earlier. And each subsequent wish in your chapter could have been woven into one of those narratives in a way that's about the story, and not just about the technical machinations of "how do we establish what the rules are?"
I mean, look, you give off the strong impression that you're still in high school. And for a high school student, this isn't bad. But you're just nibbling at the edge of storytelling, just doing the basic work of putting words on a page, without yet understanding why we tell stories. Keep going, keep writing, and for the love of all that is holy keep learning, and you will gain that understanding.
But if you really want to know why your posts receive low scores, it's because you're not a good writer yet.
And, as some of your posts have implied, if you're continuing just so that you can be a thorn in this website's side just out of spite, remember that we survived Wehtam, and we will survive you.
