Author's Note: I wasn't very happy with the way that my first attempt at S2E4 turned out. It was written rather quickly, and several things about it bothered me, not the least of which was the fact that the solution seemed a little too convenient. I'm much happier with this version.
*He took a deep breath. "My name's Malcolm," he finally said, "and what I'm about to tell you is going to be extremely difficult to believe at best." With that he proceeded to tell me what had happened and he was right, it was extremely difficult to believe. I wasn't honestly sure I completely understood what he was saying.
"That's bullshit," I finally told him after thinking about it for a moment. "That doesn't even make sense."
"Aren't you wondering why you're the only one who can see me. I know you noticed in the apartment, and it's pretty obvious that your friend can't see me either."
Truth be told I'd been wondering exactly that. I could only think of one thing that made sense. "Maybe she's right," I told him. "Maybe you are just in my head."
"You know I'm not."
"I don't know what the hell I know right now."
"Look deep down."
I did. Part of me knew he was right; knew it with every fiber of my soul, but it was still so impossible. Presumably I'd gotten a hold of some kind of magical, wish-granting rock and I'd fucked it up royally.
"Do you even know how ridiculous that sounds?"
Malcolm looked at me and nodded, "You know it's true though. I'm betting you've been having strange dreams too "
"Fuck you," I said, suddenly full of rage. How dare he bring that up! Without thinking about, I pointed the gun at his chest and fired. Behind me, Michelle screamed.*
"Please don't kill me!" I heard my friend scream from the bed. "I don't wanna die!"
I didn't pay her much attention though because my eyes were glued to Malcolm. For somebody who'd just been shot, he looked amazingly healthy as he stood there, glancing down at his chest. There was no wound there though. Did I miss? I wondered as I stood there in shocked terror. *He's only a few feet away though * As he glanced back toward me, a rather creepy smirk crossing his lips, another thought took over my mind.
I just tried to kill somebody! A jolt traveled through my body and I quickly let go of the gun. I tried to kill him. Again the image of Christian's lifeless eyes played across my mind. I'd never tried to kill anybody before or had I? What if Michelle was right? What if this man was nothing more than a figment of my rather overactive imagination? What if everybody else in the apartment had just been in my mind too? My body started to shake and I dropped to my knees, a tremor of nearly unnoticed pain racking my legs as my knees hit the concrete.
"Now that we've gotten that out of our system," he started, but I wasn't paying attention to him anymore. My eyes were glued to the gun. It simply sat there on the ground, pointing toward the wall. "Natalie " he said quietly when he realized that he was failing to get through to me. "Natalie " he repeated.
I started to sob. Before I knew it I felt a pair of arms wrap around me. When I looked up through my tear soaked eyes I saw Michelle looking down at me, her eyes filled with concern. I couldn't believe it. I'd just spent the last several minutes putting her through hell, and here she was trying to comfort me. I didn't deserve a friend like her and that just made me cry harder. I pressed my face into her shoulder and just let out all of the anger and anxiety that had been building within me over the last hour or so.
"It's okay girl," she said and I felt her stroking my hair. "Shot up the wall pretty good, doubt its gonna fuck with you again," I looked up to see a wry smile playing across her features. It was forced, that much I could tell. I could feel her fingers trembling, feel her body shaking a little, but she was obviously doing everything she could to fight it.
"Sorry," I said between sobs.
"It's okay," she whispered. "You're not yourself."
I nodded in agreement.
"This is all very touching," I heard that annoying masculine voice add, "but we don't have a lot of time here."
"You're not real," I said softly as I pulled away from the other woman. "You're just the coke messing with my head."
Honestly, I thought. A magical stone that granted wishes? That was pretty fucked up even for me. I shook my head, and turned back toward my fellow lady of the night. "I can still hear him," I whispered. I was scared. I thought back to all of those lessons and programs that the school had tried to use to warn us of the evil of drug use. "I can still see him."
"It's gonna be okay. He's not real," she reassured me.
I nodded again. Michelle had been such a good friend this past year. "I'm sorry for putting you through all of this," I told her, trying to hold back the feelings of guilt that were resurfacing. "I'm so sorry." I stood up. I was a little shaky, but I managed to climb up onto my somewhat unsteady legs. I walked toward the drug induced figment of my imagination.
"Get the hell out," I told him, doing my best to concentrate and banish him from my mind. It didn't seem to have much of an affect. He simply stood there, arms across his chest and a determined expression on his face.
A sigh escaped him. "We really don't have time for this Natalie. Well you've been here in the city whoring yourself out, Karyn's been making a mess of things back home."
I did my best not to let the mention of my former friend goad me on. It doesn't mean anything, I told myself. He knows about Karyn In fact he knows everything about you because he is you at least in a way. If you ignore him he'll vanish eventually. Inwardly I nodded resolutely. There were more important things to worry about. Like the fact that, regardless of how he'd died, Michelle and I were in a bit of trouble with Christian gone. Even as I turned toward Michelle, resolving to ignore this make believe intruder, a tiny portion of the very back of my mind tried to tell me I was making a mistake.
"What if I did do it?" I asked softly as I sat down on the bed.
She sat down beside me and wrapped an arm over my shoulder. "Either way," she told me, "He's gone and we need to figure out what we're going to do."
"What we're going to do," I heard Malcolm say in an attempt to regain my attention, "Is travel back to your hometown and wrest the stone from Karyn's grasp just in time to prevent all hell from breaking loose, and I'm not speaking metaphorically.
I didn't even know what a Meta-Fork was, but I didn't really care. "Maybe we should take off," I told her, "Get out of the city."
"And I know just the place," he interjected, but I wasn't paying attention.
She shook her head though. "And go where?" she asked. "I don't know about you but I don't have any money put away." I nodded and lit a cigarette.
"Natalie, you need to listen to me!"
"Okay," said, standing up. "Real or not, this dumb ass is really starting to annoy me."
"It'll wear off," she said. "You're still high. Once you calm down he'll go away," she paused and shifted topics. "We could always go to Scott. I've heard he's halfway decent toward his girls, and he gives you a reasonable cut too." Michelle stood up and lit her own cigarette. "Look," I gotta piss. You gonna be okay for a few minutes?" Her eyes drifted back toward the gun.
I nodded, thinking about Scott and the possibilities that lay in that direction. Michelle was right. I'd talked to a few of the girls that worked for him and they'd never been beaten. At least not by him. It beat the idea of working for ourselves without any protection whatsoever.
"Good," the illusion before me spoke. "Now that we've got a couple of minutes I need to talk to you."
"Can talk all you want," I told him, taking a long drag, "I'm not listening."
He rolled his eyes. "Look," he said, "You're not crazy and you're not imagining me. I'm real, and we have a real situation on our hands. If we don't do something soon, the shit is going to hit the fan, and it's a really big fan Natalie."
"Because of Karyn?" I said sarcastically.
He nodded. "She's a menace Natalie but you don't remember any of it, do you?"
I shook my head. "The last time I saw Karyn, was the end of sixth grade," I told him. It had happened a few weeks before I'd started hitching my way to the city. "She wouldn't hurt a fly." I started pacing around the room, probably a result of the extra energy I had from the cocaine. "Besides, even if I believed you this is me." I spread my arms to encompass the world immediately surrounding me. "What the fuck do you expect me to do about anything." I only realized part way through the conversation that I was talking to him like he was real again.
"You can stop her," he added quickly. "You're the only one that can."
I threw my arms up in the air. "You don't exist," I told him, but I think I was still attempting to convince myself.
Malcolm rolled his eyes and took a few steps closer until he was standing right in front of me. I wanted to back away. When I failed to move I tried to tell myself that it was because he wasn't real. In truth though, real or not he seemed to have some kind of pull on me. I realized that I wanted him even closer. I could feel my heart beating faster. In my line of work I didn't meet very many men who actually passed as attractive. That was why they were paying to be with me. Malcolm fit the bill though.
That's because you made him up! I shouted inside. You made him to look that way!
"I assure you that I exist young lady," he whispered, leaning over so that I felt his warm breath on my ear. I closed my eyes and gasped. Certainly feels real, I thought.. "I'm as real as anything else in this world," and I felt his hand slide up the side of my body, starting at my hip and stopping just below my breast. I opened my eyes, gasping again as his hand slid back down.
I wanted him, and I wanted him bad. I could feel my pussy getting wet just at the thought of ripping his clothes off. I squirmed a little as he ran a finger up my neck and up around my chin, tilting my head in the process so I was looking directly into his eyes. They were like whirlpools and I felt myself being pulled in. Closer and closer I moved until our lips were about to touch.
"What the fuck you doing?" The trance was broken and I turned around to see Michelle standing behind me again. Her eyes were filled with worry.
"I'm fine," I told her, trying to regain my composure. When I turned, Malcolm was gone. That felt so real, I thought. It had been a while since a guy had gotten me that worked up. It's all in your head, my mind tried to convince me.
"You sure?" she asked softly as she went over to sit down on the bed. I nodded.
I nodded.
"Cause you looked like you were getting ready to royally fuck that hot little piece of thin air in front of you," she said with a light smile.
I did my best to offer an amused chuckle. "It was nothing," I lied, knowing full well that it was damn well something. That had felt too damn real for comfort. I shook my head. "I think you're right about Scott though," I said as I walked over and sat down on my bed. It wasn't real, I desperately tried to convince myself. If he's not real thought, that means I killed Don't think about it! my mind screamed. As a hooker, I'd gotten really good at acting, convincing the guys I was with that I was as into their little fantasies as they were. With my composure returning, I managed to keep the war that was going on in my head from showing on my face.
"Well," Michelle said. "Let's get some sleep then. Tonight we can go and see him."
"Thank you," I whispered.
She looked puzzled, "For what?"
"For being there," I told her, "For not turning your back on me, and not being freaked out by this "
"Whoa," she said, "Didn't say I wasn't a little freaked out, but you're my friend. Scary as that may be sometimes, I'm not going to turn my back on you when you need me." She leaned in and gave me a heartfelt hug before pulling away and lying down.
I nodded as I leaned down to slip my heels off and before long found myself lying down on the bed next to her. Somehow I managed to drift off to sleep, though I didn't find any more peace in the world of my dreams then felt right now
