Well, I do appreciate the fact that you're not helping him and making things worse for me. Still
So, somehow I managed to get some sleep last night. I think I finally cried myself to sleep around one AM. When I woke up, I was overcome by the hope that yesterday had been a dream, just a nightmare and nothing more. I mean, this entire situation is crazy, right? Anyway, no such luck. It didn't take long to realize that it had really happened, that it was still really happening. I spent the entire night in my room, trying to figure a way out of this. Of course I was bordering on hysterics the entire night, so you can imagine the progress that I made.
Today, I'm feeling a little more collected. I still don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm pretty sure any action I take is going to start with getting out of the house. Jon made sure that everybody would notice the change, and I'm not sure that I can deal with all of the questions that entails right now. I'm not sure where I'm going to go, or even what I'm going to do, but I've already called in sick to work. I work retail so there are just too many people that I'd run into. Even if I could explain this to somebody, even if I could make somebody else believe, it would take too long. I can't avoid the entire work issue forever, but I need more time before I try to talk to anybody.
It's kind of weird. Before last night, before I turned and saw the reflection of a woman staring back at me in the mirror, I'd always dreamed about something like this too Amarantha. But the shock of last night, the way that this happened to me This is not what I wanted. I'd say I can't believe Jon would do something like this, but Well, it seems the wrong thing to say when you consider that this is what we've been doing to him for years.
If you're reading this Jon, I am really sorry.
That being said, it's time to start figuring out what I'm going to do today. There are very few clothes left in my closet that fit this body right. I still haven't had the guts to really look at this body yet. I glanced a little when I was changing, yes I finally worked up the courage to change clothes this morning. As soon as I noticed the breasts, I had to look up again. Honestly, how can I ever explain this to anybody? If I stay here and try to tell my family, try to tell anybody really, they'll think I'm insane. That's why I think I have to leave, at least until I figure something out. The first thing I'll have to do is pick up some new clothes. They fit, but these jeans are really tight around the hips.
I'm almost trembling right now, and I know you can see it Jon. You said as much. I don't want to leave everything behind. I'm actually scared to death! But there's no other way, and you made damn sure of that. Well, I need to get going. I have to pack a few things up this morning. My sister's attending a nearby technical school right now, so she's out of the house, and my dad and nephew are heading out to pick up some groceries, so I guess now's the time.
Wish me luck.
