"I need something to wear. I could have at least delusioned myself something to wear!!"
Tom ranted as she emptied his wardrobe. Her soft new voice made even her cursing seem playful and light-hearted. It was starting to drive her crazy.
She crept into the lounge and stealthily closed the curtains so the neighbours couldn't look in on him. Her neighbours were a young couple, the man a coffee shop manager and the woman a nosey gossip.
"Fuck knows what she'd make of a 6-foot rabbit with beachballs for boobs," she said to herself. That came out all wrong, she thought. How come I can't say 'fuck' properly anymore? "It sounds like a hiccup..."
Confident that no one could peek in on her, she dragged a chair across the room from the dining table to the computer desk. She quickly sat down at the computer, shortly followed by her breasts which bounced dangerously when she moved at all quickly. She grimaced and stood up again, then dragged another chair across the room from the dining table to the computer desk. She lined them up side by side and sat down again. Her massive buttocks each rested on a seat of their own, which proved to be much more comfortable. Tom smiled and logged onto the net.
A short time later, as she browsed clothing sites, Tom realised she didn't know what size her form was. She'd never bothered thinking up Bliss' actual vital statistics, content to think of her as BIG-NARROW-LUSH.
"That XXL looks about right for my top half," she said to herself. "I don't know about my bottom half though. I suppose I'd best order the biggest they have."
Half an hour later, she'd ordered an XXL pullover, a XL pair of jeans and a hat to hide her ears. Tom requested the fastest possible delivery, which had a next-day garauntee. She'd found browsing for clothes surprisingly enjoyable, considering how little she'd cared about it as a man. She'd bookmarked several items for a future purchase, once she knew her sizes.
Tom began to wonder how long this delusion would last, but as she couldn't put on any of her old clothes, and couldn't go outside naked, that left the rest of the day for her to lounge around indoors. Fortunately it was a Sunday and she had no plans to do anythign but watch TV.
It only took her ten minutes to bore of the television, which was odd as it usually soaked up a few hours before she could take no more.
"What a fucking awful day to own a TV," she said, and grimaced at the f-word again. "I know, I'll go draw something."
As Tom entered her study, she looked at the piles of paper all over the floor and tutted to herself. "What a tip! I guess I should clean it up later."
She decided trying to sit on the stool at her desk might be a bad idea, so she grabbed a pad and pencil and went to her bedroom. There she lay on her bed and started to doodle.
At least, she tried. She couldn't get her mind off the appalling state of her study. After five minutes of staggered attempts at drawing, she threw down the pencil and stomped back to the messy room.
Immediately Tom picked up all the papers, then organised them into piles, then re-organised them by categories. Then she collected them using some files she'd found and put them neatly on the shelf.
"That was fun," Tom said, surprised. "This is a really weird delusional fantasy."
She decided the floor could do with a bit of a hoover, so she went and got the vacuum cleaner and got on with that right away. Then she gave the work surfaces a dusting. Then a bit of a polish, just for good measure.
Tom looked over her nice, clean study one last time, then went back into her bedroom to draw.
She started with the familiar form of Bliss, but once the rough bodyshape was on paper she decided to add some clothes. She pieced together some of the nicer items she'd found on the web, then she started to see how she could improve on them. Time passed, and she drew her voluptuous form over and over again, each wearing a new and exciting outfit. She imagined herself wearing all the clothes she'd drawn, and vowed to take up sewing some day.
Taking the artwork back to her study and filing it carefully, she returned to the lounge and attempted again to watch television.
She spent even less time in front of the box this time, and turned it off in favour of one of the books she'd had on the bookshelf for years but never read.
Tom read until it got dark, then turned the light on and continued to read for another three hours, until she completed the whole thing. Immensely satisfied, she fixed herself a quick snack. It was the best turkey sandwich she'd ever tasted, even if he couldn't tell if it wasn't really there or not. Or was that hallucinations? Wait, this could be a hallucination, a really long one. Or a really vivd dream.
"Whatever it is, that was a very nice sandwich," she said to herself decisively. "I should just ride this lucid dream of a delusion out and soon enough, everything will be normal. I think..."
Tom decided to get an early night, in case the clothes were delivered early the next day. "Just time for a shit, then bed I think," she said to herself. "Shit. Shiiit. Shitty. Shit. Shit. There, better."
She sat down slowly on the toilet. She found she had to spread her buttocks with her hands as she squatted, so they didn't squash together when seated on the bowl and totally block her passage. But since no one was here to see her, she didn't care. Spherical pellets of rabbit dung slipped soundlessly into the bowl. Sniffing the air, Tom discovered her poo smelled like roses.
"Well, that's a definite improvement, at least," she smiled as she wiped off.
She admired her face in the mirror from every angle as she brushed her teeth, then left the bathroom with a mental note to buy a bigger toilet seat.
