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2. The finest minds

1. You Are What You Wish

The finest minds

on 2022-06-26 22:38:04
Episode last modified by Thisisnota Realname on 2022-06-27 11:19:35

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Back home, Jon was trying to decide what to do with the stone. And then he realized, maybe this situation called for help.

He picked up the stone and said, “I wish, that the greatest scientific and logical and strategic minds in history, and in fact, in fiction too, would appear in my room to help me decide what to do, but so they don’t get any ideas about stealing the stone, I wish they would also be unable to hurt me or take the stone from me unless I let them, also I wish they wouldn’t panic when they suddenly arrive here. Oh, and also, I wish for the space inside my room to be temporarily altered so as to be capable of comfortably fitting them all.”

Jon thought the last part would be a good idea simply because he expected that this might be as many as a dozen people. Boy was he in for a surprise. Because the space inside his room expanded greatly and he found himself in the company of about 100 individuals.

“Holy shit,” Jon said.

The crowd of people, as well as what appeared to be a white dog in a bowtie that was otherwise naked, but standing on two legs, who Jon knew was Mr. Peabody from Rocky and Bullwinkle, all looked at each other. Jon recognized some others, but not all of them, of course since many of them had been cartoon characters, recognizing a living flesh version of them may not be so straightforward, for instance would he actually recognize Dr. Briefs from DBZ or Dr. Wily from Megaman as actual human men? Jon expected he probably wouldn’t. He sure was glad he wished that they not panic.

5 minutes later:

“All right, name?” Jon asked the young looking woman with brightly colored hair looking like an anime character in real life. Everyone fortunately was arranged in an orderly fashion once they had an idea of what was going on.


“And how would you describe yourself?”

“Only as the greatest scientific genius in the universe,” she said smugly.

“Oh and what universe would that be, braaap!” an old man belched from four places back in line. “Because if it was anywhere near mine, I have a feeling you wouldn’t even be in the top 10.” Jon didn’t know who he was, but he appeared to be drooling, though Jon still thought he looked like a good stereotype of a mad scientist.

“Here here!” an even older looking man with comically thick eyeglasses said, who Jon definitely recognized as a real life professor Farnsworth from Futurama.

“You all know now that you’re all extraordinary or else you wouldn’t be here,” Jon said. “Can we try to keep it civil? Some of you may not measure up against each other as you think since all of you are accustomed to being the biggest fish from your respective ponds, but you can’t all be right, and any of you should be prepared to be surprised and find out you’re not number 1 here, so can we keep arrogant posturing to a minimum here. I just want to sort you all and then we can worry about who is the best.”

Washu was looking even more smug at this.

“That means you too, since that was set off by your confrontational statement there,” Jon said to her.

“I meant no disrespect,” she said to the two behind her in line. “I’m quite excited by the prospect of meeting scientific geniuses as great or greater than myself.” That seemed to appease everyone.

“So you’re a scientist. Any particular specialties?”

“Well, I do have a penchant for doomsday devices.”

“Will you marry me?!” Professor Farnsworth yelled out.

Jon sighed. “Next. Name?”


“Full name?”

“Robert James Fischer”

Jon twitched as he recognized the name.

“Oh, the chess master.”


“Yes, well, I meant no offense.”

“I’m not offended. As long as you’re not a filthy hook-nosed jew,” Bobby Fischer said back.

“Uhhhhhhhh, next?” Jon said anxiously. “Name. Not that I don’t already know.”

“Urkel. STEVE Urkel,” Urkel said in his best James bond impression.

“So just to be clear, you’re the actual Urkel, the character and not the actor Jaleel White who played him?”

“I’m a fictional character?” he said in shock. “And the actor’s name is JALEEL?”

“If it makes you feel better, you’re by far the best character from the show you’re from. Dare I say, the only reason for watching it.”

“You know, that actually does make me feel better, whoopsie!” he said as he tripped. He knocked over a box of staples on Jon’s desk and somehow sent individual staples flying everywhere even though the box had been sealed fairly well and the staples were bound together in strips of 100. “Did I do that?” he asked rhetorically.

“Next. Name.” Now it was the drooling guy from before.

“Rick Sanchez.”

“Scientist I assume?”

“The greatest in the multiverse.”

Washu glared at him at that.

“Lovely. Next.”

“Doctor Rodney McKay,” the next man said.


“Well yes, but to just say I’m a scientist is…”

“I get it, I get it, you’re a brilliant scientist to whom the very laws of physics themselves tremble before. Please don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”

Dr. McKay looked at his feet.

“Name?” Jon asked the next in line, a young man about the same age as Jon.

“Isaac Newton,” the man said, surprising not just Jon greatly but even many of the nearby fictional characters. Even they knew who he was. All the pictures Jon had seen of Newton had shown him as an older man in a powdered wig, but this was a young Newton. Well, everyone was young at some point. If he had been plucked out of time, why not when he was young.

“Well I know who you are,” Jon said to the real life legend. On the one hand, it was impressive to see certain fictional characters in the flesh, but on the other hand, this too was impressive, in some ways moreso.

“Really?” the young Newton said.

“Let’s just say, you’re going to do great things later in life.”

“The doctor,” the man next in line said in a British accent.

“What?” Jon asked.

“You were going to ask my name. Just call me the doctor.”


“I have to say, I’ve had a look around your place here, and you seem to have spatial compression so this room is bigger on the inside, I actually have some experience with that myself.”

“Oh really,” Jon said.

“Yes, unfortunately it appears my Tardis didn’t come with me to wherever this is so I can’t show you at the moment. Care to explain all that is going on here? I’d like to get back to it if you don’t mind.”

“Yeah, you know, that’s pretty reasonable, you all deserve that much. All right everyone. Please listen up…”

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